Bateman Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 My girlfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago and I though I was making progress with getting her back but now I am confused. The last couple of times we have hung out were great. It was like the spark was back, but now I can't get her to talk to me. We have not talked in about 4 days. Last time we talked was the 2 days after our dinner and tv. She had gone out the night before and she said the reason was that she was sick from having too much fun the night before. She was so supportive of me a couple of days before but now I can't talk to her. I haven't bothered her at all about it but I am getting really antsy and I think she may be sort of seeing someone. I may be just over thinking this but I have to know. I sent a text to her good friend and roommate asking for a little help. I know it's a mistake, but I have to know. I can't settle right now. I need some help on the situation. She likes hanging out with me but it seems like she puts her friends in front of me. She lived in her hometown pretty much her entire life and this is her first time being away from home. She only lives about an hour away but she is still on her own for the first time. I think she may be trying to see if the grass is greener. One more thing that bothered me...We met at a beach in Florida. then dated for about a year and a half then she broke up with me. I see on fb the other day that she posted on a friends wall (a mutual friend before we met at the beach) " **** we need to take another trip to the beach," well that's a paraphrase but its basically what she said. I have not been invited. Does she want me to go? We freaking met there...and she wants to go back without me maybe?wftfml
Country_Girl Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 Bateman- I seen your reply in another thread and wanted to comment since you were still looking for advice. I read both your posts, and here's my take. The whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" could mean one of 2 things in my opinion. 1) Maybe it is gigs or 2) She was having an emotional or physical affair. Feelings don't change overnight, and whatever the case may be, you are now just an "option" or "backup plan". I'm not saying that to be mean, but that is where you stand, it doesn't sound like anything beyond a friendship with dinners/hanging out. Sure, she might tell you she still loves you when she's drunk (and if she called on new years at 5am she was probably drunk that time also)- but heck, I went out on new years, made some new friends, and I'm pretty sure I told them all I love them too You can't take those times at face value. No, I do not think she wants to go to the beach with you. That comment was directed at someone else, and she may just want to go to the beach. You may hold sentimental attachment to the place, but maybe she doesn't, could have just been a general comment and a want to go have fun in the sun. You my friend, are grasping at straws, trust me I know, I have done it too. Let me tell you this, do not be her friend. If you do, you will get put in the friend zone if you haven't already. Once a woman starts seeing an ex as a friend, then that's all they will ever be. Go No Contact, for real. That includes not sending texts/phone calls/emails/facebook. You need to cut her out of your life. Right now, she knows you, you are predictable, am I right? She knows you'll send a text every few days or so. Throw her off, make her think, go NC!
Shatter3d Posted January 27, 2011 Posted January 27, 2011 I couldnt agree with Country_Girl more... you need to start strict NC. Dont be her friend, dont respond to her texts, dont email her, phone her etc. Trust me this will drive her nuts. Us girls hate being ignored. I have a feeling that she has feelings for someone else...we dont just switch off that easy..and she wants to keep you on a string in case it doesnt work out... dont do that, just disappear from her life. And also remember this: "It's amazing what can happen when you stop being predictable, suddenly you become much more desirable"
Author Bateman Posted January 27, 2011 Author Posted January 27, 2011 Thanks for the replies. I think people need to be brutally honest with some people. I talked to a counselor today and he basically said that I need to tell her how I feel. I plan to do that asap. As soon as I can do that, the sooner I can move on. I need to know if she is seeing someone else...I don't understand why she wouldn't just tell me right? If I was seeing someone else, I would tell my ex to stop bothering me as I wouldn't want it to screw things up with my current relationship. Thanks again.
Author Bateman Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Finally got to talk to her...Said everything I needed to and I feel better about it. At least I can move on now and I'm not waiting for her to come around any more. She told she has been on a couple of dates but nothing serious. Didn't make me feel bad...I think I can honestly move on now. But I Know it will be hard. I may use the forum and you guys for some more help.
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