penny_lane Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) I'm really hoping some of you guys might be able to make some sense of this because I'm getting to the end of my tether with it all Basically, I have loved one of my friends Zack for ten years now. We've always been close and had a spark there since we were young. We talk nearly everyday and have had some of the best times together. I know he has feelings for me too because we have had a thing before - but he confuses me as to how much. I really need to know. One minute he is so cold with me and doesnt want to know, then the next he reveals all these deep feelings (normally when he is drunk) about wanting to be with me etc. Its been hard because we do live a bit far away from each other and either he has had a gf and ive been single, or ive had a bf and he had been single. But either way, he has been the only one for me since we first met at 13. I'm now 23 and I just cant shift these strong feelings. He does have trouble talking about his feelings when he is sober, i know that. He can get really snappy about it and I dont know why. But I just want to gather what his true feelings are for me, because I get such mixed signals. Examples. Whilst he was still with his gf, he would call me and this one time he left me this long answerphone message. I actually cried at it because he sounded so sincere. He was saying stuff like how he doesnt want to lose me (we'd had an arguement at the time) and that its never been the right timing for us to have a relationship, but he wants one someday when the time is right , and that he will always be there for me. And he doesnt want me to leave him. And how im the only one who gets him etc. Then last weekend we were all on a night out (he is single now) and he was being really weird. I didnt really talk to him much at first but then he was like 'you dont have to ignore me you know' and he was putting his arm around me and kept saying that i looked and smelt goregous tonight. And in the club he said he wanted us to kiss in front of all our friends so everyone knows. I said no not here. Then later on he kisses this other girl right in front of me, and turns to me and he knew i wouldnt like it and said ' are you jelous or something' so i said ' what was the point in that' and he said ' well im not getting anywhere with you am i , it was a challenge' . Then outside, my guy friend Alex was having a smoke and apparently Zack went up and started on him and said, 'you like her dont you?' and alex said no because we are just friends. then Zack said 'well we have history, so dont bother'. then he just walked off. BUT after all this, the day after he says that he doesnt remember doing some of that stuff and he doesnt want to talk about it?!! Why does he do and say all these things? Does he like me in that way or not? Why doesnt he like talking about it? its so frustrating. By the way he is not a drunk haha! Im just saying that he only seems to open up when he drinks. I honestly love him so much, i just dont know what to do anymore.Please help me. I do know he cares for me alot, but does he love me too? All i want is for us to be together properly. Edited January 26, 2011 by penny_lane
Eddie Edirol Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 He might like you, but he's too immature to go about it the right way. So if you want him to take a shot at taking you seriously, you have to tell him straight up to stop the games. Have a sit down with him privately, kind of seductively, prepare to plant a kiss on him, and however he responds is the real way he feels. If he doesnt go for it, then he isnt attracted to you enought to take you seriously. If he does, you might have something there.
DuskCrush Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Well--you both have a 10 year friendship so it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation. I say 1) he's either stringing you along, sucking up your time and attention and keeping you on the backburner while pursuing other women. or 2) he's ready to be with you now. Ask him about it.
Author penny_lane Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 well I have asked him already and he said not just yet because hes literally just come out of a relationship and wants to be single for a while :/ I said I'm not going to wait until he's ready.....This is what i dont get, he acts all loving and does all those things I said above, gets jelous if I get attention from other men etc.....but he won't be with me. Am i being impatient because hes only jst come out of the relationship? or am I in denial and wishing on something that won't ever happen? I'm thinking I should cut him out of my life for a while and see what happens. I know it will be hard because we talk everyday, but I want him to realise what hes would miss....is this a good idea?
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