ArchTheBoss Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 It's weird. I remember having much better success on okcupid a year or two ago. I'd get a response from 1/5 women, and actually went on 4 dates from the site in a short span. I'd send a few once a week or so. Well, back in November or so, I started using it again. I completely re-did my profile. I've been messaging way more actively now - a couple every day - and my response rate dropped to like 1/30. I've counted only 4 or so replies. Then communication stopped after a few message exchanges. Also, I never get messaged. Any red flags in my profile? What is wrong with my profile? Can someone give me tips? Also, what about the pics? Good or not. Any help appreciated, thanks! http://www.okcupid.com/profile/xagent003
Author ArchTheBoss Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 oops, I guess the thread title should've been "Advice on..." but the forum auto-removed it
Jazzari Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Awesome profile. You sound confident, and most importantly - fun! I can't understand why you wouldn't get alot of responses. The only thing I would change (if I was really, really picky) is take out the word "giggle". Girls giggle. Men laugh. Oh - one other thing that caught my attention: Drinks - desperately. At your age, most are growing out of that stage. But not a huge deal, I guess. At my age, it would be a worry.
Author ArchTheBoss Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Thanks haha, I just listed "Desperately" since it appears to be a new option in the choice for Drinking, and I thought it was hilarious. They have not at all, Rarely, Socially, Often, and Very Often. I put it back to socially - usually just two nights a week on weekends. Either way I'd just changed it to Desperately a few days ago, so that can't be the deal-breaker except for the 5 or so I've messaged since then. yea I don't get it either. I thought my old profile sucked. It was bland. Just listed stuff I liked, hobbies, gave boring details of my life, not much humor. I think my old pictures sucked too, compared to the new ones. maybe it's my messages? I usually do: Subject: Some keyword or phrase or joke about something they listed in their profile Message: Two short simple paragraphs. Usually commenting on something we have in common, then I poke a little fun or ask them more about it. Next paragraph either the same, or some other small talk about their profile/interests, ask another question.
Author ArchTheBoss Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Also, I've been thinking. Could it be my height and race? I'm 5'8". Ok, not too short but not tall or average either. Also, I'm Indian. Clearly from my profile you can tell I'm white-washed. But I'm also in San Francisco, which is about as diverse as they come. I do generally message white women, the kind I think I'd get along with - post-college and working(22-26 age range), outgoing, and look active/outdoorsy. Am I just at a disadvantage for this demographic vs. most 6 foot, white men? If there's any place in the US, I would think white girls here would be most open to dating outside their race?
mo mo Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 I think it's just something us guys have to deal with when doing online dating. In real life, I go through periods where every girl in my vicinity is checking me out (I'm not particularly interested in the women I work with, except for maybe one). Online, I rarely get noticed. Don't worry, it's not just you, that's how things go when you join an online dating site.
Jazzari Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Also, I've been thinking. Could it be my height and race? I'm 5'8". Ok, not too short but not tall or average either. Also, I'm Indian. Clearly from my profile you can tell I'm white-washed. But I'm also in San Francisco, which is about as diverse as they come. I do generally message white women, the kind I think I'd get along with - post-college and working(22-26 age range), outgoing, and look active/outdoorsy. Am I just at a disadvantage for this demographic vs. most 6 foot, white men? If there's any place in the US, I would think white girls here would be most open to dating outside their race?I met my current SO online. And he's 5'8". I don't know about other women, but as long as the man is taller than me, then that's good enough. I wouldn't think being Indian would be a problem either. I would date you over a blonde just because I prefer dark hair. I personally love this line: "You're a smart woman, with just a touch of nerdiness, and like to laugh for no reason." But maybe some women are put off by the "nerdiness" label? Dunno. Honestly, if I were in my 20s, I would be knocking on your door. You're exactly my type so its hard to find anything wrong with your profile. I *love* all the humor. That is so hard to find.
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