WTRanger Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Every time I want to break NC, I think of it this way. What is the outcome if I do? What am I going to get out of this? A). She responds warmly, but since we haven't really fixed anything we'll just be back to this point in a few months. B). She responds warmly, but indifferent so I'm not really sure where she stands. We both bury our heads in the sand, a few months later we're back at this point. C). She responds indifferently, confusion abounds. We go no where. D). She responds negatively, I'm confused and back to square one. I go no where. E). She doesn't respond. I'm pissed, hurt, and I go back to square one. Now, why would anyone want to break NC? In 5 options, they ALL lead back to this point. I know everyone's situation is different,but I think we'd all share some basics of breaking NC. I must state that I have no reason to contact her other than to try to reconnect. I don't have her mail, I don't have a child with her, I don't have any important information for her. I'd like to reconnect, but that fact remains both of us still have more changes we need to make in our lives. Those changes can only come through being out of each other's lives at this point. If we never talk again, then so be it. I'm cool with that. Just as an FYI, today marks the 111th day of NC.
J0N Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I couldn't agree more, what's the point of getting back into contact when nothing good will come of it.
shocked_confused Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Great points, so true. Why would I bother trying to contact him if we're ultimately, we'll end up at square 1 again? I'm at 68 days NC now and going to keep moving. Actually this morning I had to use the calendar on the computer to count the days. Guess I'm not thinking about it much
marqueemoon4 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 makes perfect sense. ah yes, I remember the good old days where I could always talk my way into getting my ex back. those days are over.
GreenPolicy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Does it count as breaking NC if they contact you to get their property back and you respond and only discuss the logistics of returning property, and your in-person meeting to hand over property involves only exchanging of pleasantries? Because if it doesn't, then I am on Day 85 of NC, Day 6 of NC if does count as breaking it.
poorguy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I'm day 60 days today and out of the blue I got a stupid email from her about her car as some may know...I do wonder why after all this time she would even bother, knowing she doesn't need me to answer what she asked when she can figure it out on her own??? Isn't that what her new guy is for??? I may email her back but not today-why break a perfect 60 days NC ya know
Author WTRanger Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Does it count as breaking NC if they contact you to get their property back and you respond and only discuss the logistics of returning property, and your in-person meeting to hand over property involves only exchanging of pleasantries? Because if it doesn't, then I am on Day 85 of NC, Day 6 of NC if does count as breaking it. Inevitably in any relationship that was serious, there has to be an exchange of each others items. As long as you just exchanged them like normal civilized human beings, then that's okay. You kind of have to do that. For me, really breaking NC is when you are seeking to get back onto some personal level with them, you are trying to get back to what you had before the break up. Either by groveling at their feet or guilt tripping them back into your life. Again, NC isn't written in stone tablets carried down the side of a mountain. They are fluid guidelines. What I define NC as, you may not. As long as you are moving forward with your life, without them in it (unless it's for a child/ stuff exchange or other important items), then you are on the right path.
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I won't lie, I would break NC just for the thrill of it. I have done it before and the temptation is still there on occasion but as I'm now 10 months NC, to break it now would leave me looking incredibly foolish and I am a slave to my pride on more than a few occasions. I have daydreamed about chancing upon her again. I have seen her in clubs (and what angst filled nights those have been), and once or twice in passing, and the thrill is in spurning her. I know if she ever did speak to me again I would relish the chance to throw it back in her face as she did me. That day might yet come but until then I need to try and take my mind away from her. It's been a long 10 months. In fact, in just over 2 weeks time it will be a year to the day that we started dating. And I know when I reach the year break up point, I will have a very, very upsetting day.
0hpenelope Posted February 3, 2011 Posted February 3, 2011 I thought you were thinking of breaking NC before you were at your 100% and I felt :(
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