Kcelleste Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 His friend found my profile on a dating site one day before I decided to break up with him in person. It was posted two days earlier before our planned meet up. He was furious and demand why I did it. It was hard but I told him I was unhappy (I broke it off before but he would find a way to suck me back in) and that I couldn’t trust him anymore because he was a huge liar. It’s been seven months since I found out he was married (we dated for almost a year and yes it was dumb to stay but I was in love then) and he planned to divorce so we can do the things that we planned. I told him I no longer wanted to degrade and disrespect myself to be with him. I felt my self-worth plummeting and I had to put an end to it a.s.a.p. Seven months is way too much of my time to wait for something I shouldn’t put up with. Over time my love started to die away with every lie I caught him in. He cried (real tears? Idk) and accused me of playing with his feelings and that everything I said was a lie. That he sacrificed a lot to make it work with me and felt I never loved him. I told him I never met or slept with anyone else but he didn’t believe me. He made me out to be this horrible person who plot to hurt him. I felt that he was trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him. I felt that he used lies and manipulation to keep me interested this long. But I feel terrible about the break up and didn’t mean to hurt him. Idk, I think that maybe he really did love me? He did confess to his family that he loved me when his wife found out and I spoke to his parents about us (which felt so very awkward). Still I don’t know if his tears were real or fake to make me change my mind. I just couldn’t take it anymore because I dealt with too much drama from his wife (I think they were still seeing each other). I didn’t think it was worth anymore of my time and so now he hates me. ]He revealed that his wife is three months pregnant and he knows the baby isn’t his. I told him I didn’t believe that. So many lies were involved that I didn’t know who to trust (I couldn’t and didn't want to trust his family) or what to believe. He made me feel like I did something terrible. I believe what I did was long overdue and I shouldn’t feel like sh… for breaking it off. Btw, he refused to give us space until he got the divorce. His excuse was that we would grow apart and that I wouldn’t come back. That I shouldn’t let a piece of paper get in between our "love". When he said those words it always got under my skin. I’m so glad it’s over with. What do you think?
Billy_Boy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 He sounds like a jerkoff. He has NO RIGHT to say what you can and cant be doing with your time while he is married to someone. He is a hypocrite.
TigerCub Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 His friend found my profile on a dating site one day before I decided to break up with him in person. It was posted two days earlier before our planned meet up. He was furious and demand why I did it. Really he's married, and he's mad that you want to see other people and have HIM ON THE SIDE!! Oh my, what an awful tramp you are! How dare you keep your options open while he sleeps next to his wife every night?!! you hussy!! Seven months is way too much of my time to wait for something I shouldn’t put up with. Over time my love started to die away with every lie I caught him in. He cried (real tears? Idk) and accused me of playing with his feelings and that everything I said was a lie. Yeah I notice that Liars are fans of this defense mechanism, they love to just turn sh** around and make you out to be the bad guy! That he sacrificed a lot to make it work with me and felt I never loved him. I told him I never met or slept with anyone else but he didn’t believe me. He made me out to be this horrible person who plot to hurt him. What did he sacrifice? Where are the divorce papers? He didn't sacrifice anything I felt that he was trying to make me feel guilty about breaking up with him. And you are correct. I felt that he used lies and manipulation to keep me interested this long. oooh,. big surprise!! honey, that's what they do. Not just your MM. He revealed that his wife is three months pregnant and he knows the baby isn’t his. I told him I didn’t believe that. Again, good for you for being skeptical - unless you see the evidence, don't believe stuff like that. He made me feel like I did something terrible. I believe what I did was long overdue and I shouldn’t feel like sh… for breaking it off. Of course what you did is terrible in his eyes, because you're supposed to know your place, waiting for him ALONE until he's ready to give you one more crumb. You're so right in thinking that this is overdue and that you deserve better. Btw, he refused to give us space until he got the divorce. His excuse was that we would grow apart and that I wouldn’t come back. That I shouldn’t let a piece of paper get in between our "love". When he said those words it always got under my skin. I’m so glad it’s over with. What do you think? He just doesn't want you to meet someone else and disappear as an option on the side. That piece of paper is a big deal, and if there really was "love", he would understand its importance to you and he'd go get it. He's just manipulating you now, because people like him are empty insecure people and the thought that his option is fading scares him and bruises his fragile ego. I think you're doing the right thing for you. I know (from what you said), that there was love, and I totally understand that you care for him, but you're smart and you know that you deserve better, and you're standing up for yourself, he's just manipulating you and hoping that it will work. That shows just how selfish he is. I personally think that you're doing the right thing. good luck
TigerCub Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 btw - are you sure that it was his "friend" that saw you on the dating site, and not him looking for an OOW? hmmm, think about it?
Billy_Boy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 btw - are you sure that it was his "friend" that saw you on the dating site, and not him looking for an OOW? hmmm, think about it? exactly what I was thinking.
Author Kcelleste Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 btw - are you sure that it was his "friend" that saw you on the dating site, and not him looking for an OOW? hmmm, think about it? I wouldn't be surprised LOL and wouldn't of cared
jthorne Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) Does the "friend" know you are his OW? Sorry, the story doesn't fly. Either he was surfing for a new OOW, or he has a profile up himself. And what would he need a profile for? An OOW. And baby mama is pregnant from another baby daddy? And MM isn't out the door yet? The whole thing smells fishy, especially considering he lied to you for such a long time about his marital status. I'd cut my losses on the guy and the profile. He'll probably make up a new profile to start hitting on you anonymously to see if you'll bite. Edited January 25, 2011 by jthorne
Author Kcelleste Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Oh my, what an awful tramp you are! How dare you keep your options open while he sleeps next to his wife every night?!! you hussy!! LOL! I think you're doing the right thing for you. I personally think that you're doing the right thing. good luck Thank you, I enjoyed your reply. I feel so much better now. He wanted me to pull down the profile and to fight harder for our relationship to work. I rolled my eyes so many times when he went off on me. So I just let him vent so I could move on with my life when he was finished. He was so pissed and I was so relieved.
Author Kcelleste Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Does the "friend" know you are his OW? Yes, he knew I was the OW. I even met him in person so he knew who I was. And baby mama is pregnant from another baby daddy? And MM isn't out the door yet? The whole thing smells fishy, especially considering he lied to you for such a long time about his marital status. Exactly what I thought. I'd cut my losses on the guy and the profile. He'll probably make up a new profile to start hitting on you anonymously to see if you'll bite. I thought the same thing. I did take down the profile and cut him loose the same day. Thanks for you reply;)
Billy_Boy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Does the "friend" know you are his OW? Yes, he knew I was the OW. I even met him in person so he knew who I was. And baby mama is pregnant from another baby daddy? And MM isn't out the door yet? The whole thing smells fishy, especially considering he lied to you for such a long time about his marital status. Exactly what I thought. I'd cut my losses on the guy and the profile. He'll probably make up a new profile to start hitting on you anonymously to see if you'll bite. I thought the same thing. I did take down the profile and cut him loose the same day. Thanks for you reply;) Put it back up.
NoIDidn't Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Wow, your exMM sounds like my ex. Another huge liar that liked to turn things around and make it seem like I was the one hurting him. Good for you that you ignored that nonsense and let him get his lie out of his system.
siuys Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Wow what dysfunction! Walk away! No, sprint! This guy is no catch. Reclaim your dignity and life back. Good luck.
TigerCub Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Oh my, what an awful tramp you are! How dare you keep your options open while he sleeps next to his wife every night?!! you hussy!! LOL! I think you're doing the right thing for you. I personally think that you're doing the right thing. good luck Thank you, I enjoyed your reply. I feel so much better now. He wanted me to pull down the profile and to fight harder for our relationship to work. I rolled my eyes so many times when he went off on me. So I just let him vent so I could move on with my life when he was finished. He was so pissed and I was so relieved. Glad I could make you feel a bit better. I would totally have been rolling my eyes at his crap - but chances are I wouldnt have stayed quiet. But good for you for moving on. I read in another reply that you took your profile down. Don't. That's going to give him mixed signals. He's going to think that you're doing it for him and that he still has a way to you - and so he will try. I think that you're on the right track by wanting to find someone better for you. If it were me, I would put that profile back up (just to make my point), and to really meet others and keep my options open.
Author Kcelleste Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 I read in another reply that you took your profile down. Don't. That's going to give him mixed signals. He's going to think that you're doing it for him and that he still has a way to you - and so he will try. I think that you're on the right track by wanting to find someone better for you. If it were me, I would put that profile back up (just to make my point), and to really meet others and keep my options open. Your absolutely right, it's been over a day since I broke it off. I pulled my profile down last night. He recently sent a text and called me to see him again. I'll take your advice and hope it will keep him from contacting me again.
alexandria35 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 He's an ass! He wasn't even honest with you about being married and now he's calling you a liar? You have every right to walk away and not feel guilty, he was the one playing games.
fooled once Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Really he's married, and he's mad that you want to see other people and have HIM ON THE SIDE!! Oh my, what an awful tramp you are! How dare you keep your options open while he sleeps next to his wife every night?!! you hussy!! Yeah I notice that Liars are fans of this defense mechanism, they love to just turn sh** around and make you out to be the bad guy! What did he sacrifice? Where are the divorce papers? He didn't sacrifice anything And you are correct. oooh,. big surprise!! honey, that's what they do. Not just your MM. Again, good for you for being skeptical - unless you see the evidence, don't believe stuff like that. Of course what you did is terrible in his eyes, because you're supposed to know your place, waiting for him ALONE until he's ready to give you one more crumb. You're so right in thinking that this is overdue and that you deserve better. He just doesn't want you to meet someone else and disappear as an option on the side. That piece of paper is a big deal, and if there really was "love", he would understand its importance to you and he'd go get it. He's just manipulating you now, because people like him are empty insecure people and the thought that his option is fading scares him and bruises his fragile ego. I think you're doing the right thing for you. I know (from what you said), that there was love, and I totally understand that you care for him, but you're smart and you know that you deserve better, and you're standing up for yourself, he's just manipulating you and hoping that it will work. That shows just how selfish he is. I personally think that you're doing the right thing. good luck Excellent post Tiger! EXCELLENT!!
Recommended Posts