Hules Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Ex dumped me out of blue back in September I've been strict NC since then. Finally at the point of indifference really don't care if I ever hear from her again. Recently I decided I was ready to get back into dating. Decided I would give online dating a go so I made a account on OKcupid. Honestly I was expecting nothing to come of it as I am somewhat skeptical of online dating. Anyway set up my profile went in to quite a bit of detail ended up been a bit of a monster compared to most people's around 1500+ words. Put up a few recent photos etc. Just as I was finishing up my profile I notice I had a message, thought it was just your standard welcome admin message. Turned out it was from a girl who lives in my area. With a very nice personalized message. Anyways we have been chatting every day for about 1 - 2 hours for the last 5 days about all sorts of things (Family, Upbringing, Politics, Hobbies etc.). We have exchanged some photo's as well. We seem to have a lot in common. She is definitely my type in terms of personality (Educated, Polite, Knows what she wants in life etc.) and physique as well. Anyway I'm definitely interested in pursuing this girl and I think she is interested too. I have no experience with online dating so wanted to get some advice. Generally how long do you think you should talk with someone online before meeting them? Would it be better for me to give her my number first and talk to her on the phone before asking her out? Interesting side note only made the account 5 days ago but have had 30+ woman visit my profile, with more than a few messaging me(most of who are quite attractive to me, but very different goals, personality's to me so i'm not really interested.). Which I find kind of interesting as I generally don't get much attention from women. So I'm going to put myself out on the line for my own curiosity. Ladies of LS I would like your opinion on whether said interest is justified. This is me: http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/4107/ptrjv5.jpg I would also be interested in hearing about peoples experiences with online dating. Thanks in advance.
lululucy Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I find people are more forward online when they certainly wouldn't be in public. There isn't the same fear of rejection, plus they have time to read about you (a long profile implies you're intelligent) and weigh their thoughts before sending you a message. Perhaps the first impression you give off in person is not condusive to that? I don't know, I haven't met you ha As for the girl, ask her out! Give her your number and ask her on the phone or just ask her on okc -- but I know whenever I am talking to a guy on that site, having a guy give me their number after we've talked at length gives me more confidence that they're not creeps. Good luck! And if she turns out to be bat**** crazy, don't give up -- I've had one bad date, one mediocre date and a bunch of really fun ones off that site.
Author Hules Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Thanks for the insight lululucy, probably right about the first impressions in person. I would describe myself as a kind, quite (not to be mistaken with shy because i'm not I just like to sus people out before I open up to them), intellectual type. So I guess I can come off as aloof at times in person I just don't like to lead girls on who I'm not interested in. I've been know to be quite picky with girls I value personality over anything else. So I could be physically attracted to a girl but if I felt no emotional connection I would not pursue them.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Ex dumped me out of blue back in September I've been strict NC since then. Finally at the point of indifference really don't care if I ever hear from her again. Recently I decided I was ready to get back into dating. Decided I would give online dating a go so I made a account on OKcupid. Honestly I was expecting nothing to come of it as I am somewhat skeptical of online dating. Anyway set up my profile went in to quite a bit of detail ended up been a bit of a monster compared to most people's around 1500+ words. Put up a few recent photos etc. Just as I was finishing up my profile I notice I had a message, thought it was just your standard welcome admin message. Turned out it was from a girl who lives in my area. With a very nice personalized message. Anyways we have been chatting every day for about 1 - 2 hours for the last 5 days about all sorts of things (Family, Upbringing, Politics, Hobbies etc.). We have exchanged some photo's as well. We seem to have a lot in common. She is definitely my type in terms of personality (Educated, Polite, Knows what she wants in life etc.) and physique as well. Anyway I'm definitely interested in pursuing this girl and I think she is interested too. I have no experience with online dating so wanted to get some advice. Generally how long do you think you should talk with someone online before meeting them? Would it be better for me to give her my number first and talk to her on the phone before asking her out? Interesting side note only made the account 5 days ago but have had 30+ woman visit my profile, with more than a few messaging me(most of who are quite attractive to me, but very different goals, personality's to me so i'm not really interested.). Which I find kind of interesting as I generally don't get much attention from women. So I'm going to put myself out on the line for my own curiosity. Ladies of LS I would like your opinion on whether said interest is justified. This is me: http://img832.imageshack.us/img832/4107/ptrjv5.jpg I would also be interested in hearing about peoples experiences with online dating. Thanks in advance. There is no rules or how you should do things. You do what you feel is right. Only you know how things are going, use your better judgement as a person to decide wha the next step is. There's no cookie cutter online dating relationship model to follow. Just be respectful and honest, and if you follow those two rules then do what you feel is right, do what will make you happy.
Author Hules Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Good advice GivenUp0083, I think we have spoken enough for her to know i'm not on the site for ****s and giggles. I will give her my number next time we talk and suggest we talk on the phone if she is comfortable with the idea. If she bolts guess she wasn't that interested or genuine (not that I get this impression).
Recommended Posts