jessy1 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 (edited) Hey Im on about two weeks of trying NC with someone I have to see everyday and I am utterly misrable. NC seems to have made things worse and I dont know if im doing the right thing I was never 'official' with this boy but we basically were. We are inseperable, calling and messaging everyday. He would send me a card saying he loved me. Said things like I was the only one for him bla bla. Told his family I was his gf. We could cuddle and kiss non stop etc. To sum it up we did everything a couple would besides being official. I was dumb and thought it was a means of taking it slow before we made anything serious. We had honestly soo much fun together. We were best mates also and he told me he had never been so close to someone. Anyway to cut a long story short he was txting and sleeping with other girls (I found this out a bit later). But he would carry on sending me all the cute messages. The only indication I got was when he invited himself around maybe three weeks ago, took me out for dinner, then back to mine and cuddled me on the couch then suddenly left saying 'you are so amazing and im scared I will hurt you'. That txt rang massive alarm bells for me and was out the blue. HOWEVER after that txt is was like nothing changed. He carried on kissing/cuddling and sending me cute txts and even told our work mates we were together. Then one day he just stopped calling me and txting me and about a week later announced to the entire work force that he has a new gf. I was heartbroken to say the least! He never said one word to me and I found out via work mates. I went into survival mode and deicded to go strict NC. I avoided him as much as possible at work finding any opportunity to not have to talk to him. He seemed to think he has done no wrong and kept trying to talk to me as normal. If he talked to me I was polite back but very blunt and always seemed to busy to talk. My heart actually ached to much to talk. He seemed pretty miserable that I wouldnt talk much for a week or so. He still thinks he has done nothing wrong and this NC thing has now backfired. He is now very angry at me for not talking to him anymore. He has totally stopped trying to talk to me. When im in ear shot he talks loudly and is really really happy and laughy. He even talks about his gf. He said how happy he was and how much he loves his life He glares at me all the time and there is now so much bitterness and anger between us. If I talk to someone he will come over and pull them away. Its just awful. I come home and cry everyday. I am utterly misrable. I feel the only way to end this is to stop NC and become his friend again. The fact that he doesn't even try to talk to me breaks my heart as like I say we were inseperable. I feel like I have ruinied everything by going NC and I also feel immature for doing so. He has now given up and moved on and I feel like NC has created this for him. I on the other hand am miserable and cry every day. I guess Ive kind of worked out I was a filler for him and he was using me. It aches something terrible but I think I need to face up to that. I also kind of think in my mind that he did kind of indicate it to me but not becoming official with me and sending me that strange txt. So I guess he could say he has done no wrong and I am being silly for going NC. What do you think? But then I look at it from my point of view and I would never ever ever do what he did to someone. If I wasn't interested I would say so and not lead them on like that and treat them like they were my official boyfriend for months. I would not send cute txts and take them out etc. And if I were to be in that position and I found someone new I would break it off with them first!! So what do you suggest I do? I hate the anger and bitterness that I now get from him. Am I immature for doing NC (and deleting him off facebook)? And will this pain every stop. I loved him and I miss him as a lover but also as a best mate Its really hard Edited January 25, 2011 by jessy1
Leandro Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 So what do you suggest I do? I hate the anger and bitterness that I now get from him. Am I immature for doing NC (and deleting him off facebook)? And will this pain every stop. I loved him and I miss him as a lover but also as a best mate Its really hard You're not immature for going NC. Yes, the pain with stop someday. I know it's hard, but you can't give up.
z00m25 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 NC is pretty much the hardest thing ever. Hes just saying hes happy to piss you off and make you feel like your missing out on something. Is he really worth the time if hes going out with other girls all while leading you on? doesnt sound like it. you just need to hold your ground and dont give in to contacting, im trying to do the same thing myself and i to feel like its just making it worse but when i did talk to her she wouldnt give me the time of day anyway so its not like it makes any difference . def avoid facebook/myspace profiles, i am completely fine until i pull that up then i go right back into my depressed mood, that is my hardest thing to overcome. well thats all i can come up right now, going to the gym also seems to work for me if you have one available to you.
Lil1 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 This is a difficult situation for you because you have to work with this guy. I think that you are doing the right thing by going NC but if you are at work then its important that you remain professional. Be the bigger person and just treat him with courtesy (not friendliness, just politeness)... it will help you overcome your feeling of being used by him, and it will show others that you are a strong individual woman and that you are soooo over him (even though inside you may not really feel this way yet). But eventually you will. I dont know what type of arrangement you two had when you first started hooking up but its clear that he took it a step further and misled you by saying that you were his girlfriend to his family. Then he doesnt even have the decency to tell you personally that he has moved on and seeing someone else? You had to find out through your coworkers? Thats just cruel. He clearly doesnt deserve your love, and his happy go lucky attitude is just a front to rub it in your face even more (since you are not outwardly pining over him). He sounds like an immature jerk who will eventually get excatly what he dishes out. Trust me, Karma has a way...You are better off without him! I def agree with z00m25 that you should avoid 'cyber-stalking' him, because it will just keep opening an old wound. Just remind yourself that you deserve better and concentrate on yourself. Go out with friends, hit up the gym, and try to be happy on your own. Soon enough the right guy will come along and you will be in a better place
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