SerenaG Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 My story isn’t terribly tragic just made more difficult by the dreaded co-worker issue. In short: Friend/co-worker asked my out about a year ago. I was surprised and flattered, I had always found him attractive and enjoyed being with him but never really thought that he felt that way about me. We dated for about 8 months. I was wary at first, particularly about the working together part, and we both took things fairly slowly. It was fun though, we had a lot in common, had a good time and I felt like we were connecting. Then when things got more intense and I was finally starting to feel like this may actually be going somewhere I felt him pulling away. After a few strained weeks I got the dreaded ‘we should talk’ email. We did, he stated that he just wasn’t connecting emotionally, ‘I’m great’, ‘we should be friends’, blah, blah, blah. As I mentioned above this isn’t a tragedy. People date, find out it isn’t working and move on and I believe if I didn’t have to see him almost every day this would not be nearly so difficult. But we do and although I thought I was doing pretty well at first recently I feel like I am slipping. I was pretty much NC for the first few months , corresponding about work but pretty much keeping away, as was he. Lately though we have been talking, had coffee a few times, even went to dinner once which was equal parts comfortable and awkward. I think he sincerely wants to be friends and I thought for a while that was what I wanted, but in reality I know I am holding out hope for something more. He can’t give it though and I know I am just hurting myself by hanging on to this. Anyway I’m posting here mainly to help reinforce my commitment to get back to NC (or as much as I can while working together). So this is my pledge. No forwarding stupid emails I thought he would find funny, no looking for excuses to talk to him about work, no seeking him out in company meetings, no lingering outside his office space hoping to accidentally run in to him and for the love of god no texting of any kind. Wish me luck.
Author SerenaG Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Day one fail. It really felt like legitimate work communication, but in truth I could have let someone else take care of it. I think he knows that too. Argh, I hate all this second guessing every move I make. Ok resolutions are made to be renewed. Tomorrow will be better. I hope.
trillium Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Hang in there...I just recently entered that same situation with my former boyfriend/co-worker. I hope I can avoid all the temptations to maintain contact as well. My "no-dating co-workers" rule was a good one. I'll be careful before I override it again.
Author SerenaG Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Thanks trillium, such an easy rule to remember except when it isn't. It's a big office so luckily not too hard to avoid if I make the effort. Avoiding the temptation is the key. Best of luck to you too.
Recommended Posts