Scarlett513 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I've been dating my new bf for about 3 months now. Things are beginning to get more serious and I'm definitely falling for him. He knows that I feel that the words "I love you" are sometimes over-used and rushed into (I've had two past relationships where the guy said it really fast, and both were crash & burn). Anyway the other day he fixed something of mine and I got really excited and I blurted out "omigod I love you!" We both just sort of let it go bc it wasn't in that context but I'm still embarrassed that I said it. I'm hoping I didn't freak him out! I think I'm actually starting to feel that way but no way in he'll he needs to know that...
Confusedalways Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I said it by accident once too, actually right about at 3 months. I felt it but wanted him to say it first. I covered by saying something lame, I have no idea if he bought it. He said it authentically about a week later
PleasantDeviation Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Sometimes we feel things and it just comes out. It has happened to me as well. I think everyone should be able to express themselves freely without having to worry what the other person thinks. I mean, they are your feelings
Jonno_S Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Why all this fear of telling someone you love them? Is it that you don't love them and you misspoke? Well, then say oops (sooner rather than later). But if you love someone, tell them. Why all this struggle with power and upper hand? Just jump in, have fun.
Star Gazer Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Awww! The context in which you said it was cutesy, and not like you sat him down and professed undying love. If he's smart and pays attention to context, he's probably not reading too much into it.
lois_80 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I don't think it's as big a deal as you think it is. Don't sweat it.
FryFish Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 lol... thats not bad at all. 3 months, you actually DO love him and you said it after he showed you he loves you... Embarrassing is when you accidentally say it while having sex with a girl that you hung out with for the first time earlier that day... That was my embarrassing "oops" moment. "I love you... uh... oops. I didnt mean that... Im sorry, I DONT love you!... I mean, Im sure you are great, dont get me wrong... Um I like you for sure... I dont even know you... Say something?... can we pretend the last 30 seconds NEVER happened?"
carhill Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 The most common disclaimer I've heard, mainly from MW's, has been 'well, I was drunk'. OP, since you're with this guy and the 'blurt' reflected how you felt at the moment, own that without ambiguity or shame. The love you feel and express is a gift and he's lucky to be the recipient of it. I hope he knows that. Good luck
denise_xo Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Why all this fear of telling someone you love them? Is it that you don't love them and you misspoke? Well, then say oops (sooner rather than later). But if you love someone, tell them. Why all this struggle with power and upper hand? Just jump in, have fun. Ditto. I've never understood the long elaborations on this forum and elsewhere about being strategic about it and the man should say it first and it should be said within a certain time line or whatever whatever. I just say what I feel (within reasonable contexts, obviously). I find that just being genuine and honest goes a long way, and it's a much more relaxing modus operandi than trying to fit into lots of 'rules' someone made up about when to do what. I've also said it and not had it reciprocated, but I don't feel bad about that. As long as you don't offend anyone or anything like that, I just view it as having offered a compliment.
zengirl Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Most people make way too big a deal of ILY. It's way overblown. Unless the guy is a commitment-phobe (and who wants to date them?), you should be fine. It's not like you said it on a first date! You know and, presumably, are starting to love this guy. Cool. Don't make a big thing about his not saying it and just act like you normally would.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I love you for buttering my toast or I love you for changing the bulb in the fridge is not the same as I love you. The Op sounds kinda like the toast version. Nothing lost.
Karmartia Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 It's nice to hear, but "I love you" doesn't really mean very much unless it is connected to some action of love. So we try to create that artificially. That's why men buy jewelry and women buy cologne. "Here is an offering that I hope you will take as an expression of my deep affection," all in the hope of hearing those three little magic words.
Kamille Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Embarrassing is when you accidentally say it while having sex with a girl that you hung out with for the first time earlier that day... That was my embarrassing "oops" moment. "I love you... uh... oops. I didnt mean that... Im sorry, I DONT love you!... I mean, Im sure you are great, dont get me wrong... Um I like you for sure... I dont even know you... Say something?... can we pretend the last 30 seconds NEVER happened?" That one sure puts things in perspective. Scarlett, I'm with everybody else. You have nothing to worry about. The way you said it was genuine. Not only that, it was pretty much pressure free, so there's really no reason for him to freak out. In fact, I'm willing to bet he loved it. Men need encouragement too you know.
Lauriebell82 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I would let it go for right now, but PLEASE do not take it back or say you didn't mean it. Just hold off on saying it again until he does.
Jazzari Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Why all this fear of telling someone you love them? Is it that you don't love them and you misspoke? Well, then say oops (sooner rather than later). But if you love someone, tell them. Why all this struggle with power and upper hand? Just jump in, have fun.I don't think its about power or upper hand. It's the fear. 1. Fear of saying it too soon before the feeling is genuine. And the other partner knows it and will think less of you for it. 2. Fear that it won't be returned. You just handed them your heart. What will they do with it? 3. Fear of scaring them away. If you come on too strong, too soon, will they bolt? If its real, saying "I Love You" for the first time to a SO is a big deal. And it should be, since its not something you toss out every day to just any date. I love you for buttering my toast or I love you for changing the bulb in the fridge is not the same as I love you. The Op sounds kinda like the toast version. Nothing lost.^ I agree with this.
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