Chi townD Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 What exactly did she say? How is she blaming you for sending nude pictures of herself to another guy?
Author ctwatlanta Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 Oh trust me...she is furious! She's sent me 4 email in last 30 mins wanting to know how I got the pix. She said she's on the way to her phone company now to "figure out what I did". I didn't do anything...but she's too dense to understand. What's ironic is she is more angry about getting caught and wants to know how I got the info than anything else. Admittedly it sort of hurts. At the very least you would think when someone is confronted with this type of info they would have some type of remorse. She's only angry and interested in knowing how I caught her. No apologies, no remorse or anything...just anger.
D78 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 ...She, of course, blames me for everything she did. Why is it when someone gets caught cheating it's our fault?!?! Yeah, I made her do what she did and forced it. This one always confuses me. Like you're going to say, "Oh, cheater, I'm sorry. You're right. It's all my fault..." She's obviously going nuts. *awesome* ...She's furious that I have all the info on her and claims I "hacked" her acct and that it's illegal and implied she may take legal action. If you leave your phone on with all the crap you've been doing at my house and use my computer to log into your personal dating site then I don't consider that "hacking". I'm just picturing this conversation with an attorney... Any legal action would require the introduction of some amusing evidence in court. I have to echo Fern's comments. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this situation. I'm also so happy that you did what everyone who has ever been cheated on wishes they had done. Thanks for the update and good luck.
Chi townD Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Unbelievable!! Trying to find out what you did? How you found out? It doesn't matter now! No," I'm so sorry, we really need to talk?" Nothing huh? Well, I guess you got your answer on what kind of person you're dealing with!
comethemorning Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 The ONLY thing she will be sorry for is getting caught. WOOT!!!! Called it!. Of course she is furious. She was busted straight up and the proof is now in her hands . (not to belittle your situation, but can't help but laugh imagining the look on her face as she opened that box!!!) Way to go dear sir. You handled it like a pro. No explanation is needed by you to her. None. Nada. Let her scream and cry. Sounds to me like empty threats. I am sure you have nothing to worry about as it would be far more embarrassing for her in a court situation than it would be for you. She is just spewing. Ignore her as you have been doing, and get on with your healing. We are all so VERY proud of you Please keep us updated. Peace.
bluebirdsfly Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Bravo sir! Deepest respect for you! You've made my day! Haven't read anything like this for a very long time. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but on the other hand, you didn't lose anything, since she's just a piece of junk. And don't ever let her know how you got the information. She doesn't deserve the closure.
ccnaboy2000 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I am so proud of you. I wish I had the backbone that you had years ago when my ex wife cheated on me. She obviously shows no signs of remorse at all, and worse claiming she is the victim. It really goes to show just how selfish of a woman she was. I know it sucks, and it might suck even harder a month down the road as it did with me. But hold you chin up high and take comfort in the fact that this woman was NO GOOD for you. You were a good man, and you deserve a good woman who will never pull this crap. And trust me there are women out there. Women that would be thrilled to be with a single father who loves his child. I personally know many of those kind of guys who are in happy relationships. It may take some time, but believe me, from experience there are good women out there that will love, respect, and treat you better than this.
Author ctwatlanta Posted January 28, 2011 Author Posted January 28, 2011 As mentioned, it does hurt a bit... She didn't acknowledge any wrong doing whatsoever. She blamed me completely for her doing everything she did, and then said "HOW DARE YOU HACK INTO MY PHONE AND TAKE PERSONAL PIX!"...and then basically said "F" off. I guess those of us that have been cheated on we would - at a minimum - like an apology or some contrition from those that treated us like garbage. Whereas she has blamed me for everything, is now furious with me for "hacking her phone" and has shown absolutely no remorse whatsoever. I guess I'm just completely flabbergasted by her reaction. I'm glad I did what I did but it's still not the reaction I'd expected. I wish I could say I feel better now but I really don't. If anything I feel worse now.
rachel7475 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Do not feel bad! They make you feel like **** by blaming you... when really they don't even care they are just pissed that they got caught. Someone who can lie to your face and be cheating on you is NOT worth your time or love. Don't let her let you feel like ****, cheaters deserve much worse than what they get. Just be a good person and ignore her **** (it will drive her crazy if you ignore her, trust me!) and you'll be fine. Do not respond to anything, she is just trying to get to you. The best thing you can do to her to get her back is to have no contact it will drive her nuts.
ccnaboy2000 Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 As mentioned, it does hurt a bit... She didn't acknowledge any wrong doing whatsoever. She blamed me completely for her doing everything she did, and then said "HOW DARE YOU HACK INTO MY PHONE AND TAKE PERSONAL PIX!"...and then basically said "F" off. I guess those of us that have been cheated on we would - at a minimum - like an apology or some contrition from those that treated us like garbage. Whereas she has blamed me for everything, is now furious with me for "hacking her phone" and has shown absolutely no remorse whatsoever. I guess I'm just completely flabbergasted by her reaction. I'm glad I did what I did but it's still not the reaction I'd expected. I wish I could say I feel better now but I really don't. If anything I feel worse now. My ex wife did the same thing to me. Blamed me for everything, accused me of pushing her into another mans arms. But truth be told, I didn't do anything, she had an unsavory appetite for new d*ck. I did get an appology, but it came a year later after she had been left a couple times by the guy she cheated on me with (who dumped her a month later) and then by the man after that. I spent hours a day just thinking about her, staring at pictures of her, crying, I tried to kill myself wondering what I had done sooooo wrong that made her cheat. And then one day 4 months later after slowly healing and doing No Contact it just clicked with me. And I was like "huh... I dont give an F* anymore" And you too will probably go through that, I mean I hope you dont try to kill yourself like I did, but you will go through those feelings its the grieving process. But if it helps, I met a girl after all that and had a wonderful relationship with her for 2 years, it didn't last because of family pressure, but it was wonderful. But my point is you will meet someone better. Just take the time to focus and build yourself up. Pickup some new hobbies, go to the gym, take your kid out to play. Dont ever put up with this womans crap, and DONT let her back, especially after the reaction she had, she will only do it again and it will hurt worse. At least you weren't married to my wife who cheated 3 times! Next time you feel down, just post out here on LS, were all here to help each other. I hope you feel better soon, and get well on your way to recovery. God gave ya two feet man, just make sure they keep walking forward.
Lemontang Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 I wouldn't expect an apology ctwatlanta. If anything the initial reaction your getting is near text book, and the threats made are simply to goad you into a response....don't respond!!! This happened with my ex when she knew I found out. All she cared about was telling the people who told me to get F'd and that it was all my fault. A year later I'm yet to get one, but I also know I never will so I'm not expecting one either. Simply take the time you need to heal and move on...hell my ex I almost asked to marry before it all came to fruition....then I brought a motorbike (It's amazing what an engagement ring can buy you these days ). At the end of the day you've not only done the right thing, but done what so many others wished they had the strength to do.
dng Posted January 28, 2011 Posted January 28, 2011 Bro. Don't feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong on this one. You can use her reaction to your coping advantage; the fast she is blaming everything on you demonstrate how damaged she is. Imagine a whole relationship with her... Constant lies, blame shifting, never an apology, erratic behavior... She's revealed her true self to you today and in a few hours or days it will click in for you. The fact you are feeling bad for something SHE did is just the prelude of what was coming to you with her. Now, take a deep breath, and breath out relief... Its over and truth prevailed today.
TheGrimSweeper Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 (edited) AS hard as it is you should absolutely not feel bad.You found out the real person she is. And Please do NOT respond to any thing she sends. It will only make it worse and you'll be stopping down to her childish level. She sounds ridiculously selfcentered and childish. Shes not going to go to the phone company, these are just baseless threats that shes writing based off pure emotion and even if she did she would just look like an idiot. As much as it sucks it happened to you, you need to stick to your guns and never talk to her again. MAYBE then i hope for her sake she will learn a lesson. Edited January 29, 2011 by TheGrimSweeper
Duckduckgoose Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 She didn't like being beat at her own game. I think she only wants to know how the OP found all her pics and stuff so she can guard more closely next time. The only thing she wants to take away from this is how to be a sneaky-er bitch.
bluebirdsfly Posted January 29, 2011 Posted January 29, 2011 Cheaters are essentially selfish, that's why she's not apologizing. She's only concerned that her privacy has been breached and her image is destroyed. Herself is the only priority. She never cared about you. Actually after I learned that my ex never cared about me, it helped me moved on much faster, because I know that I never lost anything precious. We are here for you. Post here when you feel down. Hugs
Distant78 Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Damn if I had seen this thread sooner I would've came to it but you've gotten a lot of good advice. You are one of the few who are setting an example for folks out here that are betrayed. Glad you're not like all of these other men who are soft and pushovers who accept their cheating partners. I know you're hurting even though you went NC with her but what you've done shows how very strong you are, and when your healing process is over from all of this drama you'll be EVEN STRONGER. A lot of folks can't shut down their emotions temporarily to do the job like you. Maintain NC with her and you'll be fine dude. You'll find someone who really loves you no matter how old you are.
Leviia Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I'm reading through this post and it sounds JUST like my situation. He gave me his email passwords and one day ... that "gut feeling" started up and I couldn't figure out what was going on ... log into his emails and "poof" there's why. I confronted him about it and he got pissed, blamed it on me and told me to Eff off. DO NOT feel bad at all!!! People who cheat will try to blame it all on the other person, spouse, SO or whatever... Cheating is in NO WAY anyones fault but the person who does it. They have such piss poor self esteem that they are looking to do anything to boost it. Her cheating has nothing to do with you, you did NOTHING wrong. She's the one that has a problem. I'm proud of you for what you did and wish I had done the same thing. Keep your chin up, you sound like a great guy and when you realize that you ARE a great guy you'll meet a great girl!!
Binster Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 Well done mate. You got the advice and took action. Just think of the time and hurt you've saved yourself from.
Author ctwatlanta Posted February 4, 2011 Author Posted February 4, 2011 Just wanted to say thank you to everyone. It's been a little over a week and I already feel enormously better! Yes, it hurts a little still...mainly because there was absolutely no remorse on her behalf, but I am soooo glad I did what I did. It just goes to show what she really is like and that I'm better off without her sorry, good for nothing a$$. I look back now and can see the red flags popping out everywhere. So, I just chalk this one up as a lesson on what to AVOID next time around!
YellowShark Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 It just goes to show what she really is like and that I'm better off without her sorry, good for nothing a$$. Well I've read the entire thread and you did the right things ctwatlanta. One - you provided her with the evidence so she can't deny anything. Two - you didn't put a sloppy, sappy, "how could you" note in with the Fed Ex package so you don't look like a complete tool. Three - you have shut her down electronically and she can nolonger bother you. Great work! BTW, the fact that she is not remorseful tells you everything you need to know about her character. She is the kind that would sell you down the river in a heartbeat. Thank goodness you didn't invest more time and effort into her. And the fact that she is gaslighting you instead of showing remorse proves that she is immature, and a terrible role model for your child. And don't fret it. You are way better off than being her unsuspecting doormat.
Woggle Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Just wanted to say thank you to everyone. It's been a little over a week and I already feel enormously better! Yes, it hurts a little still...mainly because there was absolutely no remorse on her behalf, but I am soooo glad I did what I did. It just goes to show what she really is like and that I'm better off without her sorry, good for nothing a$$. I look back now and can see the red flags popping out everywhere. So, I just chalk this one up as a lesson on what to AVOID next time around! Good for you. Women like her are an albatross around a man's neck. When their lies are exposed they act like a caged animal.
StussyMagnet Posted February 4, 2011 Posted February 4, 2011 Just wanted to say thank you to everyone. It's been a little over a week and I already feel enormously better! Yes, it hurts a little still...mainly because there was absolutely no remorse on her behalf, but I am soooo glad I did what I did. It just goes to show what she really is like and that I'm better off without her sorry, good for nothing a$$. I look back now and can see the red flags popping out everywhere. So, I just chalk this one up as a lesson on what to AVOID next time around! You've handled this so well mate. You're reacton to this is an example to everyone dealing with a cheating (ex) partner. The very definition of pragmatism. Well done.
I Luv the Chariot OH Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 I just read through this entire thread and for some reason I found it so inspiring. Thank you for sharing 1
Distant78 Posted February 5, 2011 Posted February 5, 2011 Just wanted to say thank you to everyone. It's been a little over a week and I already feel enormously better! Yes, it hurts a little still...mainly because there was absolutely no remorse on her behalf, but I am soooo glad I did what I did. It just goes to show what she really is like and that I'm better off without her sorry, good for nothing a$$. I look back now and can see the red flags popping out everywhere. So, I just chalk this one up as a lesson on what to AVOID next time around! Very good. Women like her get in their little pissy fits and panties in a bunch when their stinky **** is exposed and no one wants to put up with them. It hurts yes but you've saved yourself a lot of time and pain. Your recovery will be much much quicker now. Keep doing this and you'll find a real woman worth your time dude. Stay well. A lot of people are reading your situation and are inspired by it.
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