Not comfortable with my girlfriend's past drug use, and not sure how to address it

[zengirl]

Minor difference. Being a Mormon isn't a felony in most jurisdictions.

 

Neither is using drugs in most jurisdictions. Selling them is a different story, of course. I get your point, to a degree, but the OP already seems to keep pot in his house and the GF doesn't seem to keep any other drugs around. The legal ramifications are pretty much nil.

[Lethe]

Neither is using drugs in most jurisdictions. Selling them is a different story, of course. I get your point, to a degree, but the OP already seems to keep pot in his house and the GF doesn't seem to keep any other drugs around. The legal ramifications are pretty much nil.

 

This is why the internet can be a somewhat frustrating place to debate and discuss things. This is not meant as a slight to you, but I never at any point said that I kept any weed in my house. I do not. Nor have I ever purchased it. When I said occasional use, I meant it VERY literally.

[Lethe]

Man I see your point about the drugs, I dunno I think people can get over it and yeah there is probably some sort of imprint, In other words maybe theyre a little sketchy or a bit of a burn or whatever. But lots of other things have imprints as well too.. Like if somebody was a born again christian for most of their life... Unfortunately theyre going to have terrible taste in movies in music for the rest of their life... so i dunno

 

 

But i think the qoute up there is your problem... call it what you want but I think its a classic case of settling for someone you really didnt want because of pussy deprivation... and then trying to wrestle with yourself to make believe your in love, and now maybe your trying to rationalize your way out of it... either way when you settle and you stick your in deep bro and its gonna be a process to get out. good luck you gonna need it.

 

Meh. This is an interesting perspective but is inaccurate. I'm really not trying to rationalize my way out of dating my girlfriend. If anything, I'm trying to rationalize staying in the relationship against the force of what I (for the most part) believe are probably unfounded gut instincts.

 

What's really strange is that this thread has actually only fueled some of my paranoia, mostly because of the implications that she may be lying as it is or may be crawling with STIs, neither of which I had previously considered. Some of these assertions were made even by the people who think I'm in the wrong.

[depplover_1980]

Hey Lethe,

 

I think you have the STD issue whatever relationship you're in and most sensible people get checked out before deciding to bin the condoms???

 

Also I do still giggle to myself that you enjoy the odd puff, but could not understand any other drug. Honestly you would need to be completely clean for this to be a valid argument. But as you are not looking for an argument, but a solution I will let it go!

 

I think you'll stay with her btw and so you should.

[zengirl]

This is why the internet can be a somewhat frustrating place to debate and discuss things. This is not meant as a slight to you, but I never at any point said that I kept any weed in my house. I do not. Nor have I ever purchased it. When I said occasional use, I meant it VERY literally.

 

Literally would mean "on occasion." There was nothing in your description to suggest that every time you smoked pot it was not at your home and not purchased by you. In my state, the only thing that can happen for a small amount of pot (or most other drugs, depending) is possession. So, it doesn't really matter, legally. You're just as guilty. My point was carhill's bit about the legal ramifications is nil, if you also do drugs. And it is. "Well, I only speed on certain Wednesdays, but she speeds more!" would not be a good legal argument. If you get caught, you're getting a ticket.

 

It might be a fine moral argument, but you never indicated that you have any issues with her pot use being too frequent.

[Seamless74]

Meh. This is an interesting perspective but is inaccurate. I'm really not trying to rationalize my way out of dating my girlfriend. If anything, I'm trying to rationalize staying in the relationship against the force of what I (for the most part) believe are probably unfounded gut instincts.

Dude seriously.... Whats the difference???

 

 

And yeah I would say your definately introspective maybe a little too much... What in the world is an "unfounded gut instinct"... A gut instinct is exactly what it is.. life trying to give it to you straight. Life dont lie to you bro it gives you the situations and the feelings as is.. Its just our brains have a way of rejecting the objective information..

[Jannah]

It appears you look down on her for not having as much willpower as you would have preferred her to have, back then. She experimented with drugs during a “phase” in her life, which you have a difficult time accepting (since you never felt the need to experience with drugs other than marijuana).

 

It’s the same mindset, with men who have a hard time hearing and/or accepting, that the woman they are in a relationship with, has slept with a certain number of men in the past. Different points, same outcome.

 

You don’t respect her choices.... And maybe a part of you is afraid she will repeat them in the present and/or future.

[lino]

Former, present or future drug use would be an instant deal breaker for me. Even weed.

[sumdude]

OP you're touching on a subject that's going to get you a huge variety of responses depending on everyone's personal views regarding illegal drugs in general. I wouldn't use this as the best place for external input because of all the prejudices. Talk to her some more about it and decide for yourself. Tell her how you feel.