Types of men most likely to cheat

[daphne]

The stereotype of the cheating athlete (college and pro) I have found to be very true.

 

From my experience, I've found much of what muse08 said is spot on.

Commonalities:

 

• Has a fundamental lack of respect for women
  
• Low self esteem
  
• Little conscience
  
• Thinks he can get away with it
  

Add to it:

 

• Easily and regularly objectifies women
  
• Sense of entitlement
  
• Extremely high sex drive
  
• Has friends who cheat or who don't think it's a big deal
  

 

Sounds like you're talking about Tiger here..

[lino]

From what I've seen, the guys most likely to cheat are those who have very little to no respect for women. Unsurprisingly, these are the guys that pull the most women.

[sweetjasmine]

I can't speak for the other guys, as men rarely discuss their emotions or infidelities, but, in my own case, at the point of breakage, my boundaries were definitely weak, something which had never happened in any prior intimate relationship. Another significant factor which IMO weakened them further was the marital dynamic, which was bringing back painful memories of hurtful behaviors from women in my past. In my case, I didn't respond to any particular female attention, and actually had resisted attention numerous times from MW's during our M, but proactively sought out someone with I had experienced a pronounced and valued (if unhealthily) connection in the past. The psychology was one of desperation, something I had never experienced prior. This likely mirrored many of the women in my past who had sought me out for EA's, as their dynamics clearly indicated desperation, whether for love, attention, validation or simply a shoulder to cry on. I can't specifically recall a 'happy' affair at all. All were repleat with varying levels of pain.

 

Hope that helps

 

Yes, it does help.

 

I don't think it's really accurate to talk about "type of men/women" who cheat unless we're trying to figure out some traits that serial cheaters share. It makes more sense to me to look at it as "state of mind/emotional state that makes a person more likely to cheat."

[carhill]

OK, if we limit the discussion to serial cheaters, that severely limits my datapoints, essentially narrowing them to the two 'good-looking' guys listed. That's likely bad data. However, as I know both families, I can say both men come from stable, secure family backgrounds, ironically not much different than my own. Hmm...

[Untouchable_Fire]

I kind of notice that the guys say - High social status, Good Looks, Low Respect... mostly opportunity factors. Less mention of personality traits.

 

The women seem to just despise guys that feel sorry for themselves, and objectifiers. However somewhat ignore opportunity points.

[tigressA]

We still talk and now he plays the pity card that his last gf didn't understand him like I did, wasn't like me and how she didn't trust him or give him what he needed.

 

 

Dude, she didn't trust you cos you're a crazy, lying, cheater who feels sorry for yourself!

 

Yep, my ex played the "No one understands/accepts me for who I am" card all the time. I would bet he still does. He does also meet the "lack of respect for women" criteria, now that I think about it...

 

I've known a lot of guys who have had plenty of opportunity to cheat and haven't. I've known others (like my ex) who have had much less opportunity and routinely cheated. I'm with those who say opportunity isn't a big factor. As Zengirl said, if the guy I'm with is faithful only because he doesn't have the opportunity to cheat, he may as well cheat on me.

[Cee]

I was in a LTR with a musician and he was completely faithful, always had been and always will. But for him, the music and the drinking were primary, not the women. Most of the musicians I knew were faithful too, but they were pretty messed up on drugs and alcohol to hold onto girlfriends.

 

I think the red flags I have learned is narcissism and insecurity. Those conditions are ripe for a person to seek validation from multiple people.

[Mme. Chaucer]

I think that the guys with penises are more likely to cheat than those without. I am looking for data to back this up; I'll get back to you.

[carhill]

Guys without penises can have emotional affairs

 

[Mme. Chaucer]

Guys without penises can have emotional affairs

 

 

Hm. I think you may be right. Let me get back to you after I compile the data from http://www.cheatingpenislessmen.com.

[carhill]

I'm getting a 'page load error'. This reminds my of my affair, and strangely

[LittleTiger]

I think that the guys with penises are more likely to cheat than those without. I am looking for data to back this up; I'll get back to you.

 

:laugh:

[Emilia]

Musicians and athletes (famous ones) are just guys who have a lot of opportunity to cheat. The guys most likely to cheat, IMO, especially repeatedly, are (a) the ones who fetishize or objectify women and (b) the ones who wallow in self-pity. Self-pity is a big sign! Of course, they'd need to be given opportunity.

 

IME these factors. men that look for validation or have emotional detachment from women in general (lack of compassion)

[sweetjasmine]

OK, if we limit the discussion to serial cheaters, that severely limits my datapoints, essentially narrowing them to the two 'good-looking' guys listed.

 

I dated a serial cheater (boy, that was a fun revelation in the end). He wasn't super good-looking, but he was charming, manipulative, and a good liar. He was also depressed and broken inside.

 

However, as I know both families, I can say both men come from stable, secure family backgrounds, ironically not much different than my own. Hmm...

 

Well, with something like this, you can come up with any kind of post hoc rationalization. For example:

 

- People from broken, unstable households are more likely to cheat because they're messed up.

- People from stable families are more likely to cheat because they want to rebel.

- People with a low number of partners are more likely to cheat because they're more tempted by options they haven't tried.

- People with a high number of partners are more likely to cheat because they're used to sleeping around.

- People who are overly confident and full of themselves are more likely to cheat because they don't care about other people's feelings and are risk-takers.

- People with low self-esteem are more likely to cheat because they very much care about other people's feelings and thus have weak boundaries.

 

You could go on forever coming up with explanations that "show" how opposing traits make so-and-so more likely to cheat.

[zengirl]

My father is a serial cheater. He is not good looking, nor charming, nor rich (at the moment at least---he has been pretty rich, but ironically, I don't think he cheated then), nor extroverted, nor someone with a lot of friends.

 

What he has in common with other serial cheaters I've known -- many of whom haven't been handsome, or rich, or particularly interesting (though some have and are) -- are 3 things:

 

1. The self-pity I mentioned.

2. Drug/alcohol extreme use/abuse.

3. Non-communicative in important ways. (My Dad is actually very smart, and when in the right mood, can talk to anyone. But he never talks about anything important. To anyone. So far as I can tell.)

 

My Dad actually doesn't really fetishize or objectify women that I can see. In fact, he tends to generally think he likes the women he cheats with and the women he cheats on. He's also really nice to his Momma. And his dogs. Terrible with most people, though.

[Karmartia]

I think that the guys with penises are more likely to cheat than those without. I am looking for data to back this up; I'll get back to you.

 

 

If you got a dick you will use it. Every single man alive, regardless of how he may wish to portray himself, will cheat given the opportunity. This is not to say that he will necessarily actively seek to do so. But if the opportunity presents itself, he will. I know that sounds awful, ladies, but it is simply the truth. Now there will be some who will vehemently declare their fidelity. They are liars.

[sally4sara]

IME:

Alcoholics/ heavy drug users (lowered inhibition while around other people with lowered inhibitions)

Those who's father cheated on their mother (its probably the no respect for women aspect)

Guys who studied PUA tactics. They can't resist continuing even after they get the GF they learned the PUA stuff to get. (its probably the low self esteem aspect)

[EasyHeart]

Sorry, ladies, but it's mostly about opportunity -- especially when we're young.

 

Length of the relationship factors in. Only a total creep will cheat on you after a few months, but give him a few years and it's pretty likely. Of course, if you're single, cheating is pretty unusual; he's more likely to just break up with you when he finds someone else.

 

IME, once we're older/married, it's the guys who didn't have many opportunities when they were younger who are most likely to cheat. The guys who had plenty of opportunity in their teens and twenties have experience in fending off women's advances. The guys who didn't date much are more likely to be tempted once they're married, have kids, the wife gets chubby, etc. because they aren't practiced in being picky about their partners.

[Untouchable_Fire]

Sorry, ladies, but it's mostly about opportunity -- especially when we're young.

Length of the relationship factors in. Only a total creep will cheat on you after a few months, but give him a few years and it's pretty likely. Of course, if you're single, cheating is pretty unusual; he's more likely to just break up with you when he finds someone else.

IME, once we're older/married, it's the guys who didn't have many opportunities when they were younger who are most likely to cheat. The guys who had plenty of opportunity in their teens and twenties have experience in fending off women's advances. The guys who didn't date much are more likely to be tempted once they're married, have kids, the wife gets chubby, etc. because they aren't practiced in being picky about their partners.

 

I would agree with this for the most part. However guys with strong belief systems can break the mold.

 

I have a friend that is from a wealthy famous family, and he has loads of opportunity based on his looks, talents, and pedigree. He actively takes himself out of potential cheating situations... primarily because he holds very strong religious beliefs.

[northern_sky]

-extremely selfish

-narcissistic

-amoral

-lack of DEEP remorse whenever he hurts somebody. This may even take the form of profuse apologizing and a shallow display of self-flagellating AFTER the fact as if it absolves him.

-idolization of women from afar

[KTB3LL]

I dated a guy who claimed to be this amazing Christian and who actually was a bible school teacher. We only dated for 3 months and I started getting suspicious that some of his stories weren't matching up. Well come on guys I am a cop its my job to figure stuff out. I found out he had actually cheated on me with his ex, had gone to see another girl I had asked him about behind my back, had kissed 2 of his close friends when he was drunk. He was a complete butthead. But he had been kind of a nerd in school and then ended up being really good looking and I think he didn't know what to do with his new found attention. He came from a great family and background.

 

I think part of it has to do with age and maturity. I think younger guys and less mature guys tend to cheat a little more because they dont think about the consiquences. They just think about the right now. Plus if they think they can get away with it they will do it.

 

I also think if your man is really happy in your relationship he is less likely to cheat. If he thinks he has the best that there is and is typically happy for the most part his mind wont wonder as much about what is out there.

 

Just my thoughts

[GivenUp0083]

I'd be wary of women who like to get absolutely trashed at the bar. This means her better judgement will always be severely impaired when deciding whether or not to cheat on you while men stare and grope her all night.

 

I'd also be careful of dating EXTEREMELY beautiful women. I find my girlfriend to be absolutely gorgeous but I know by most men's standards she's not a supermodel, and that's better. Because the thing about super stunning women is that they will ALWAYS have options, and if you have a fight or something with her, those other options will always be there to tempt her.

[2sure]

In my experience as both a former OW and BS...

Most likely to cheat are the guys who have everything. Ambitious, driven, successful, well liked, happy marriage, beautiful family etc. Notice I didnt say guys who want it all...I refer to those who have it.

 

They are more likely to want a little bit more. Something just for them.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

If you got a dick you will use it. Every single man alive, regardless of how he may wish to portray himself, will cheat given the opportunity. This is not to say that he will necessarily actively seek to do so. But if the opportunity presents itself, he will. I know that sounds awful, ladies, but it is simply the truth. Now there will be some who will vehemently declare their fidelity. They are liars.

 

Hey! I didn't say that guys with penises would cheat; I said that those who have them are more likely to cheat than those without.

 

You are wrong about the cheating. Certainly there are plenty of men out there who will cheat given the opportunity. There are those who will NOT.

 

Having a moral code, standards and the ability to live by them is not gender specific.