Kansas Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 So after my initial post break-up slump (sitting on the sofa, eating chocolate ice cream and sobbing into my pillow), I set the intention to ease myself back into the land of the living. I took the ups and downs in stride and considered myself to be coping fairly well. I've been spending time with friends, getting out of the house and focusing on work - overall keeping myself distracted and busy. However, now I'm beginning to feel like it's emotional payback. I don't necessarily feel overwhelmingly sad, but I have moments where I miss him so much and there's just this underlying melancholy ... It's almost like for every hour that I've distracted myself, it's coming back ten fold but in more subtle ways. Has anyone else experienced this? I almost feel, that when I was sitting in my 'grief' so to speak, even though I was ridiculously sad, now that I'm distracting myself, I feel like I'm burying my feelings and not confronting them and it's showing up in different ways. I don't know anymore ... I'd love your input
january2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I'm feeling somewhat similar. I'm concerned that I haven't fully processed all that's happened and that I'm just putting a brave face on it. However, while I don't have any answers regarding whether or not either of us is doing the right thing, I do think that all we can do is to take the emotions as they come and be confident that we know ourselves the best and what's good for us right now.
dng Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Its called... coping. You are now connected with whart was good and what was bad in your relationship. It's very positive. You'll make decision as to what works for you and what doesn't, you are remembering the person in a positive light but you understand why its over. You are on the right path. Bath in your memories until you are sick of it, its just another step.
heel_ing Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 The journey comes in stages. Kubler-Ross's stages of grieving is apt here. My first month was spent in shock, and of course depression. Second month was more full on lethargy and depression. My third month, which is nearing completion, has been spent in anger more than sadness. Many people say 'it gets harder...'. Its true. The shock and depression almost necessitate distraction and detachment. We have jobs, friends, lives to lead. Like the poster said, "its called coping." Coming out of this, there is going to be some deeper level processing. It feels like a setback, but in reality its just another layer. Its also positive in that you actually CAME OUT of the shock and depression, which is an achievement.
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