freeoralone7 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 [FONT=verdana, arial, helvetica][sIZE=2]So I thought that was was recovering better than ever. Its only been a week since I found out that my gf had moved on to a new boyfriend just days after I had left from a visit (we were temporarily LDR). The way she moved on and made me feel made me realize the relationship was toxic and I was doing pretty good with the breakup. A few days ago I had a great day spent time with friends and thought about her very little throughout the day. We have been no contact for about 2 weeks since I found this information out and I havent been struggling keeping no contact. Today im back to thinking about her all day long. Last night I woke up constantly throughout the night feeling physical pain or uncomfortably (dull pain). Every time I'd wake up I rehad the epiphany that I was not with her any more. That I was alone. I felt like part of me was no real or not there anymore. I felt like I was not a whole person. This was all in a half-sleep mind. It was the strangest most uncomfortable feeling I've ever had because of a breakup or for any reason before. If you have ever woken up balling because of a dream where a parent or loved one dies and you think its real for a very long time, that is the closest I can relate this to. It happened maybe 3-4 times last night and today I have been having all kinds of thoughts about the breakup. From hate to love to confusion to jealousy to inadequacy to pure depression. I realized today that I think i was doing so well because I have been thinking that she MUST be in a rebound relationship because of how quickly it came about and how bitter she seemed toward me, and that I am just waiting for the day that she contacts me to at the very least apologize. But I cant live this way and I know it. I am just setting myself to hurt more later when she doesn't ever contact me again. I need to truly move on and have no expectations. This thread is mostly to describe the dreams/feelings I had last night and see if anyone can relate. It was so uncomfortable and depressing, it has made me down all day. My last girlfriend I had what I would say a much harder time moving on from the beginning. It took me a year to move on and I made a fool of myself and couldnt do no contact even when she would ignore me. With her I had dreams where we got back together and I woke up and realized we hadnt but it was nothing like what I experienced last night with a physical pain and emotional turmoil from a night dream. anyway thanks for reading any input would be great. [/sIZE][/FONT]
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