dolphinsunshyn Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 He works a 100 hours a week, huh? First clue: A cheating guy will use work as an excuse 9 out of 10 times. I'm sure he been screwing around for a while now. He just not able to hide it from you since his wife got pregnant. Once a cheater always a cheater. Once a liar always a liar. Chalk it up to a lesson learned. Dump this guy ASAP! Next time, think first before you get involved with a guy who is still married. Most are so darn confused they don't know what they want. Relationships rarely survive under these circumstances. Get rid of him now. The longer you wait, the more you will be hurt when he cheats on you again. Don't be so niave to think that it is one time occurance. Guys like that don't change for anything.
Author Last_Thread Posted March 25, 2004 Author Posted March 25, 2004 We aren't together anymore. We won't be together again until he shows me his signed divorce papers. And i will also be checking to make sure they aren't fake either. He slept with her again because he's a weak willed woos and felt sorry for her. He does realize that he is a scum bag for doing what he has done to his wife daughter and me. At this point in time he is trying to right his wrongs with everyone he screwed over. I realize being with somone who is married is wrong but i let my emotions take over instead of my brain. If i had to do it over again i would've never gotten involved with him until he had divorce papers in hand. Not everyone who cheats is a horrible person who should be condemed to be alone for the rest of there lives. He and i both made mistakes and are paying for them dearly. But the love we have between us is real and something neither one of us is going to give up without a fight.
doormat Posted March 25, 2004 Posted March 25, 2004 10 years later i am still involved and dont know why! i always think that something is going to be different. i have proven time and time again that i am the fool and the advice to get revenge and let her have him is the best advice ever! my situation is difficult as my family is very close with this guy, him and my father are in business together and spend alot of time socially together. our relationship began before he got married and i have watched him have 2 children and build a beautiful home together and he makes really good money. on the outside they appear to be this perfect family. he is not going to leave due to his children. his mother stayed married until his little brother graduated highschool and then she left his father. i am fixing to be 30 and have not ever been married, lived w/anyone or had any other relationship and now feel like i have wasted so much time and i am ready for a family. it is the toughest challenge (next to not gaining weight) that i face regularly-some days are much easier than others! speaking from my experience- i will never get involved w/someone who is even remotely serious about someone else, much less someone who is married. it will only lead to hurt. if someone is truly unhappy in their current relationship they will get out of it. i know this NOW, a little late. it is very hard to walk away as i see this guy ALL of the time socially and he is with my family all of the time (w/out his) and so its difficult to even incorporate any one if i do start dating because he is there all of the time i am tired of being lonely and drug out on this and need the strength to walk away! knowing that i am better off
Arabess Posted March 25, 2004 Posted March 25, 2004 OH GAWD doormat! Why are you letting this ASSCLOWN continue to destroy your life???? Get the HELL out! We'll support you and talk you through it. Read all the other OW posts to help you find that BOOST...and then PM me. You CAN do this!!!!!!
Cosmogirl1391 Posted March 25, 2004 Posted March 25, 2004 WEll first of all - Did you not get pissed about him sleeping with her? I sure as hell would have, but then again, I would never be in a relationship with a married man in the first place, so I guess some people get what they deserve. I am not saying that you are a bad person for getting involved with him, but you knew that he was married and you made the choie to make it serious and move in with him. Obviously, he isn't a trustworthy and faithful guy, or he would never had been dating you while still married. What makes you think he won't do the same thing to you? He has a lot more invested in the relationship with his wife, so it's not suprising that he still sees her. And I don't care how "tired" he was, if he really wanted her to leave him alone, he would have gotten up and walked out the door....after all, walking out takes a LOT LESS energy than having sex, so I think that was a pretty pathetic excuse. Don't be naieve. YOu need to wake up and realize what this man is doing - he's trying to have his cake and eat it too. YOu need to make a decision and re-think this relationship. And if you keep making excuses for him and stay with him - then you deserve everything you get. Sorry, but that's reality.
kkat Posted March 30, 2004 Posted March 30, 2004 As I know from experience, a guy living with you while he is "getting divorced" does not a divorced man make. Three years of living with my ex-MM (I love writing thatex-part!) proved that... Think about this: Your MM is married. He is not divorced. He is making excuses for why he is not divorced. He is having sex with two women - one of them you, and one of them his wife, and lying about the circumstances. He clearly treats you with no respect for your intelligence if he expects you'd believe this whole pin-pricked condom, oh poor me sexusal slave and too tired to fight off the wacky wife bit. His wife - his legal partner - is now pregnant, and chances are its his baby. My MM's wife used the suicide threats when we lived together. I witnessed them, and yes they happened. But the point is, he fell for it and this was one of his reasons for going back, in addition to being an all around spineless wonder. Your guy seems to be doing the same. The list of excuses men make, and that OW fall for, is endless. You are young - get out now and stay out. Learn from the horrific experiences here, keep posting, and don't be his fool. He's not going to divorce her.
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