Last_Thread Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 I have been living with a married man for the past year and a half. He has left his wife and told her it is over but has drug his feet about fileing for divorce. His wife and him have a 12 yr old daughter together and he sees her frequently. My married boyfriend works the night shift and one morning he got out of work and went up to his wifes house to sleep until his daughter got home from school. HIs wife came home early from work and got into bed with him naked waking him up. He says that she wouldn't leave him alone and she kept begging him to have sex with her. He tells me out of pitty and exhustion from working over a 100 hours a week for the past 2 months he had sex with her just to get her away from him so he could sleep. He said the sex with awlful he was repulsed by her and never got off. He also says that she provided the condom. When he woke up later he found the condom rapper with a lot of pin prick holes in it. And now the wife is pregnant and she is saying it is his child. I find this story a bit hard to believe i am 26 years old and the wife is 37. My boyfriend and i have always used the rythem method and i have never gotten pregnant. I have also been pregnant before so i know there is nothing wrong with me. My boyfriend also takes hot baths every day and i've read that this can cause low sperm count. I know that he is telling me the truth about what happened that day. I would just like to know other peoples opinion on this situation.
Fancy Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 My opinion is that this guy gave you one of the most pathetic, lame stories I've ever heard in my life.
befuddled11 Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 As someone else put it, that's a very lame story he gave you. If he didn't "get off" then gee, even with pin holes in the condom, it would be awfully hard for her to get pregnant.......so in other words, he's full of shee-it. If he was truly "over her", he wouldn't be dragging his feet about getting a divorce. Nor would he be sleeping with her. Why would you think so little of yourself, to go living with a man who's married to someone? What future do you see here? You're giving him all the perks and benefits of being his live-in mistress, but he's obviously still got attachments to his W I F E....and in 9 months, it will be an attachment that comes in the form of a child. Think about it......if she were the kind to want to trick her husband into coming home to her, by getting herself pregnant, do you really think she'd leave the wrapper with pin-holes in it, there for him to see? Um, I don't think so. I think he's a huge fat liar and he obviously thinks you're naive enough to fall for it. And this total crap about how he was sooooooo tired, but agreed to have "awful sex" with her, just to get her off his back so he could "get some sleep"......please don't tell me you believe that?
dyermaker Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Originally posted by befuddled11 And this total crap about how he was sooooooo tired, but agreed to have "awful sex" with her, just to get her off his back so he could "get some sleep"......please don't tell me you believe that? Cut him some slack befuddled, he had a headache
moimeme Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Sounds to me like the triumph of hope over realizing he's a total jerk. Funny how it is that these wives mysteriously get pregnant isn't it? And now, of course, there's no way he can leave even though he really did want to. I'm afraid you've been had - in more ways than one
jenny Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 i'm a bit addled by your post. let's review. 1. your boyfriend takes hot baths 2. you are not pregnant 3. you are 26 all of these facts have no bearing whatsoever on her fertility. here are her facts: 1. she is pregnant 2. she says it is his child here are his facts: 1. he slept with her. 2. he claims she pin pricked the condom 3. he does not want to divorce her 4. he believes this to be his child it would seem that the mother and the boyfriend agree that the wife is pregnant by your man. if you disagree, well, that's your problem, more or less. even if he is lying to you, it's clear he believes her to be pregnant by him, which lets you know, clearly, where you stand in this pecking order. you, my dear, are the chump. i know that sucks, but pick yourself up and move on. this man does not love you.
carla Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 What I can't understand is WHY he would be going to his ex wife's place to sleep after work to begin with. OH.... so he could see his daughter after school. Well does he not have an alarm clock at his own home? Does he live so far away that he can't drive there after school? Most people that I know that are or have been separated usually don't go to the ex's to sleep. I'm sorry but in my opion this has probably been going on for a while and this time he's been caught ie: she's pregant and everyone will know eventually. Ditch the loser first he cheated on his wife with you, then he cheated on you with his wife. Ya I would really want a guy like that.........NOT!
Author Last_Thread Posted March 22, 2004 Author Posted March 22, 2004 To Carla he actually does live far away 80 miles to be exact.
jenny Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 er....wow. do you feel this exonerates him somehow? are you that delusional?
dyermaker Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 I still can't understand-- HOW do you feel betrayed?!? He slept with his WIFE. You're the OTHER woman, you get his sloppy seconds when he feels like giving you some, by the mere definition of your position, you're entitled to take what you can get. See why one shouldn't invest themselves in people already invested in someone else?
look forward Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Last_Thread i believe that sometimes mishaps happen but you cant seriously believe this guy.. there must be a little voice somewhere in your head telling you that he is playing you.. even if your heart doesn't want to accept the truth.. Why would you put all your trust in a man who cheated on his wife with you do you really think things would be different.. and what the hell was he doing sleeping over there is the first place distance or no distance he should'nt be going over there for nap's its ridiculous and from my experience when a guy is tired sex is that last thing that they want to do... see the light girlfriend this guy is playing you like a instrument and he will continue to do so as long as you let him..
FreeMe Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 My boyfriend lives with me. He has a wife - divorce papers have been filed. He lives with Me. If he slept with her now, I would consider that cheating on Me and he would be out. If he still had a desire to be with her in any way, then I would feel that he was not ready to be with me.
jenny Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 wait a second, he has already admitted to cheating on her, though claimed he did not get off but also claimed the condom was pricked. i thought the issue in this post was whether or not the wife was lying about her pregnancy or whom the father might be. both the wife and the poster's boyfriend think he is the father.
FreeMe Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 I guess I was just trying to say that to me it wouldn't even be relevant that the wife was pregnant or who she was pregnant by. If the boyfriend/husband still has sex with the wife after moving in with me then he'd be out.
jenny Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 yes! i agree with you. i think in this case the lines of divorce are not at all clear. the initial post is so confusing; i don't think she is thinking very clearly. in the first post, it would appear the man and the wife got out of work around the same time and both early.(because that happens a lot, really, without prior organization) and had sex while waiting for the daughter. the man works 100 hours a week, evidently, and believes that sex will allow him to sleep. though the man did not orgasm, he is concerned about possible holes in a condom, even though his history of baths should have (evidently) rendered him infertile. now, i'm not a detective, but if my bf told me a story that seemed to defy the laws of time and space as well as common sense, i would begin to assume he is probably having a regular sexual relationship with his wife, to whom he still appears to be married. but that's just me. last thread, your man is a dog, my dear. he may have told you that he is seperated, but use your brain. and your five senses. this is not kosher.
Arabess Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 And the ASSCLOWN AWARD for THIS week goes to.................................... You have a boyfriend Last Thread.....forget the married guy with 'forked' tongue, horny wife and faulty rubber. I'm not meaning to laughing at your expense....but I found this to be hilarious!
Dug Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Honestly...the guy is a a jerk. He doesn't RESPECT you !! And guys ALWAYS get off.....even if I cheat on my right hand by using my left.
niko1999 Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 But Dug, doesnt your right hand feel extremely betrayed??!!! HOW COULD YOU????? Youre an evil person dug, cheating on your right hand with your left!
justneedtoknow Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 are you jealous that he was with another woman and not you remember what goes around comes around!!
Author Last_Thread Posted March 22, 2004 Author Posted March 22, 2004 I am pretty sure he is giving me a line of crap. But then again his wife could've slept with someone else gotten pregnent and tryed to pin it on him. She told her daughter that her father was moving home on christmas which wasn't true. So i'm thinking if you can tell your own child something cruel to guilt your husband to coming back to you why stop at pinning a pregnancy on him. He also does have problems ejaculating due to the medication he has to take for his heart problem. I know that for a fact for many doctors visits i've been on with him, and experience. We were also having problems in our relationship at the time and were talking about breaking up. This does not excuse him for cheating on me but is a good excuse for him. We have split up and he is living in his own apartment and claims he has no feelings for his wife and will never go back to her regardless of her being pregnant. He also tells me that he loves me but doesn't want to make me suffer through his major screw up. I know on paper this sounds like crap but i've seen him crying like a baby about losing me. His wife is not this wonderful person that has been screwed over shes a warped twisted human being. I knew of her before i knew anything about him. I've also seen with my own eyes how nuts she is. she sleeps in the same bed with her 12 year old daughter and has since the kid was born. he delayed divorcing her because she went nuts threatening to kill herself ripping out her hair and trying to kill him with a butcher knife. he was trying to ease her into the fact of him not coming back for the safety of his daughter. I would classify her as mentally ill for there is many other things that i am leaving out about her. I know getting involved with a married man is wrong and i had no intention to. i befriended him because i felt bad for him and ended up falling in love. If i had to do it all over again i would run the other way. I will never get involved with someone married again. But I can't help the fact that i'm still in love with the man and had planned out a future with him and am crushed by all that has happened. Oh and by the way he isn't sure the baby is his he is having dna tests done.
Girlie Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Regardless of whether or not the baby is truly his, it could be because HE HAD SEX WITH HER. Who cares if the child really is his or if things were going bad between the two of you. If he really loved you, he could keep his pants on even through rough times. His excuse for being with her that night is lame at best and if he were that repulsed by her, I'd question whether or not he could get aroused/hard in the first place (though I guess that's not completely outside of the realm of possibilities). You can't go back and do things over, obviously, but you can run now and that's exactly what I would do. I know it will hurt, but I have a feeling if you stay, you could be more hurt in the long run.
befuddled11 Posted March 22, 2004 Posted March 22, 2004 Originally posted by Last_Thread . His wife is not this wonderful person that has been screwed over shes a warped twisted human being. I knew of her before i knew anything about him. I've also seen with my own eyes how nuts she is. she sleeps in the same bed with her 12 year old daughter and has since the kid was born. he delayed divorcing her because she went nuts threatening to kill herself ripping out her hair and trying to kill him with a butcher knife. he was trying to ease her into the fact of him not coming back for the safety of his daughter Okay, I'm lost. If his wife TRULY is such a manipulative, possibly mentally-ill individual who's tried to "guilt him" into coming back home in the past, then why in tarnation would he HAVE SEX WITH HER? How stupid is that? All that's doing is leading her to believe he still cares/wants her/and that there's "still a chance" for them. Soooooo...seeing how most intelligent men wouldn't sleep with a lunatic of an (ex) wife for obvious reasons, the fact that he *DID* proves even more that he's full of BS. And I STILL don't get what he was doing, getting off of a nightshift and going home to her house, to sleep, to wait for his daughter to return home from school. Doesn't "school get out" in the afternoon? So then why wouldn't he just sleep at YOUR house, and then go over in the afternoon to see her?? How many times has he done this "sleep over" thing there? Is this a common practice? Sorry, but he's full of crap. And it doesn't matter one iota whether the child is in fact his or not...........the ISSUE here is that he had sex with her..........bottom line, period, end of story. Of course he has every right to, that's his WIFE.........but then you need to gather up your self esteem and dignity and self respect and boot his lying arse out the door because it's all very screwed up and you DESERVE a man who's available, and faithful. Of course, so does she.
XDOR Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 You know what? Maybe he is a perfect husband, he is not a bad guy, he has never cheated on his wife, he doesn't live with her everyday because he's a hard worker. He takes care of his daughter, he is willing to be a very good father with his son to come also... He has never slept with another woman except his wife, he hasn't slept with you at all. How would he, if he is a family man... I bet that's the wife's version... Sorry.
DerangedAngel Posted March 24, 2004 Posted March 24, 2004 Dude. Maybe in the future you should... find a single man? In my opinion it is perfectly acceptable for him to be sleeping with his wife. I mean, he's been sleeping with you while they've been married, and you think that's okay. She hasn't been strong enough to kick him to the curb. Why don't you take a shot at the ultimate (however, unjustified) revenge and let her have him? Good luck, Deranged
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