MrCaveman Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Hi I'm new here! I'm just wondering if anybody here has any information or experience on how to deal with your SO having an emotional online affair?
Space Ritual Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 1. Install a keylogger on your computer, document as much as you can possibly stomach 2. Confront with your evidence, never revealing how you obtained it. 3. Explain to your SO that they are free to continue their dalliance, however you will not be party to it. 4. Unless significant changes are made immediately on the part of your SO,(which includes, but is not limited to: Establishing No Contact with EA partner, deleting and blocking said partner 's email addresses, social networking pages, phone numbers,) be prepared to follow through on any promises to terminate your relationship. This is meant to force your SO off the fence and aid in lifting any fog... Remember the biggest thing with online emotional affairs is that the participants in most cases are infatuated with the feelings generated by the persona of the partner at the other end of the screen...not the actual person themselves. It is internet fantasy air but Emotional Affairs are a dense fog that hangs in that air...lol that should be the tagline of Facebook...
seibert253 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 1. Install a keylogger on your computer, document as much as you can possibly stomach 2. Confront with your evidence, never revealing how you obtained it. 3. Explain to your SO that they are free to continue their dalliance, however you will not be party to it. 4. Unless significant changes are made immediately on the part of your SO,(which includes, but is not limited to: Establishing No Contact with EA partner, deleting and blocking said partner 's email addresses, social networking pages, phone numbers,) be prepared to follow through on any promises to terminate your relationship. This is meant to force your SO off the fence and aid in lifting any fog... Remember the biggest thing with online emotional affairs is that the participants in most cases are infatuated with the feelings generated by the persona of the partner at the other end of the screen...not the actual person themselves. It is internet fantasy air but Emotional Affairs are a dense fog that hangs in that air...lol that should be the tagline of Facebook... No better advice than this.
CCfooty Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I honestly think to install a keylogger would be taking it a BIT too far. If you know it's happening, you know it's happening... you have reason to believe so at least. I do agree with points 2, 3, and 4 - obviously evidence from point 2 would be something only you would have a source from. I think if one has nothing to worry about, one has nothing to hide... thus if my SO installed a keylogger - i'd be a BIT miffed they didn't just confront me and ask me about it. This is coming from the opinion of someone who has never cheated, though HAS been cheated on. So, I say i'd be miffed but I would have nothing to hide... and have been that suspicious person... so I'd semi understand their actions (though that is pretty extreme). I think it's easier to just be straight up about your situations. If they say nothing is happening, you have to take their word. If you know they're lying to you... well... are they worth your time? People make mistakes, we are all human. Some mistakes are bigger than others and some aren't worth sticking through. It's up to you to make that choice though.
Bryanp Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 If the roles were reversed do you think your wife would be so accepting as you?
SouthernSunshine Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 My ex busted my online emotional affair by installing keylogger. He confronted me in an aggressive way, very angry. It scared me b/c he was being violent, but I ended the affair b/c I had no privacy.
aerogurl87 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 My ex had a few emotional affairs online, but he would say "I'm not cheating I'm just boosting their self esteem and we're friends" or "it's just interactive porn" when I caught him camming with another girl. The thing was after awhile I stopped caring what he did to be honest. He sucked at lying so I found out something was going on rather quickly most of the time. I knew it wouldn't last, that relationship was a train wreck. But love covered a multitude of his transgressions and I'd cry, he'd tell me he loved me, and I'd take him back. Never again though. I'd say just watch someone closely for how they respond to having lots of alone time near the computer. If they are always trying to find ways to sneak and be online, then usually either an online affair is starting or is in full swing already. Confrontation is really the only real answer and if the accused partner is jumpy and not willing to settle your doubts then I'd be banking on them being involved in an online affair.
Binster Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Get a keylogger, dont tell her ever where your information came from. Look out for yourself - no one else will.
seibert253 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 My best bud would have NEVER have found out what his FWW was doing without a keylogger. Plain and simple. He KNEW what was going on, but had no proof. As a matter of fact, he was in denial without proof. When he confronted her she lied and lied, until he showed her the evidence. Only when confronted with evidence did she come clean. IMO it's the most important evidence gathering item you can have.
Author MrCaveman Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Thank you all for all your advise on this matter. I will let you know. I really appreciate your help.
Recommended Posts