icemantbi Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 What do I do? I need some advice. I am 30 years old, and last year I got into my first relationship. The girl is 20 years old, so there is an age gap there. Now, things were good at first, but a few things happened and I don't know what to do. She became very controlling of me, always texting me and expecting to answer her texts as soon as I got them. She got upset when I told her I had to go, or go to bed because it was 4 am and I had to be up for 8:30 the next day. We started clashing a bit, etc... But here is the real problem: 1. She lied about being pregnant. This caused me a whole lot of stress. She expected she was pregnant, took a blood test, was negative, but still claimed she was to me. She kept it going for a good 2 months. 2. She created "fake" facebook profiles. She would use these "fake" friends to agree with her when things didn't go well (by things not going well meant I wasn't able to see her/talk to her/etc... Nothing major) 3. She lies.. she comes up with excuses just so i can go and see her. We don't live together or anything.. but when you get a text at 1 am, saying she needs help taking out garbage, or is starving.. it's not normal 4. She puts the blame on me for everything... saying I was decieving her by telling others her secrets (not true, btw) This hurts me to no end. Bear in mind, this girl has been abused in the past. Her father beat her and her brother to a pulp. So she has issues. I want to end things with her, but I am a kind, good-hearted soul and want to help her. She refuses any help, but thinks we should go to "relationship" counselling. I told her I need to put the relationship on hold... but she still is in contact with me. What do I do?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Be a grown up and break it off. You are not her father and whatever kindness you have in your heart is overtaxed from being played, blamed and completely drained by her emotional abuse. If she has issues, suggest help, or better yet, print her a sheet of therapists' names. There's being helpful and caring and then there's a point where you're allowing yourself to be stepped on and spat out. So which are are you?
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