chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Ok guys I got rejected. Fine. I've been friends with this girl in school and she's very nice to me. She often brings me snacks and one time she even brought me a box of chocolates. After weeks of debating whether to make a move, I decided to go ahead. I told her how I thought she was nice and generous and kind, and how I probably had feelings for her. She broke down in tears and told me she had a boyfriend. She said she was sorrt for not being careful enough with me. The next day, she calls me and asks whether I'd hang out. I said it was too soon for me and she cried again. I had so much drama in my life lately. Why is this crying while I'm the one who got rejected?
mo mo Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 You said you PROBABLY have feelings for her? She cried about the situation and you're confused about it? Listen son, you need to MAN UP. If someone told you they PROBABLY want to give something to you, what does that sound like? It leaves a lot of room for interpretation, doesn't it? You NEVER want to leave much room for interpretation when you are kicking it to a woman. Listen, I think you still have a chance here. What you need to do is confront her and tell her that you are going to stop playing games with her and that you don't care that she has a bf. Let her know that what you feel for her is real and that you will do what is necessary to win her heart. If she cries again, don't worry about it. If a girl cries for you that is actually a very good thing.
tigressA Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 You do need to man up. Just tell her you're into her but that you're going to back off until she completely breaks it off with her BF. You don't want a scenario in which she's two-timing the other guy because as they say...if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. If she really likes you, she'll break up with her BF and then go for you. If, after you tell her what's up, she tries to rope you in while still keeping her BF on the hook, then you know she's drama and you need to stay away from her.
mo mo Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 You do need to man up. Just tell her you're into her but that you're going to back off until she completely breaks it off with her BF. You don't want a scenario in which she's two-timing the other guy because as they say...if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. If she really likes you, she'll break up with her BF and then go for you. If, after you tell her what's up, she tries to rope you in while still keeping her BF on the hook, then you know she's drama and you need to stay away from her. Right. That was good advice. A combination of my raw male confidence and a level-headed answer from a female.
Author chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks for your advice guys and girls. One important detail I forgot to mention is that she has two kids (twins) with the guy. I'm in no position to support her financially but did tell her I have feelings for her and that I really want her. She cried again for what seemed like an hour only to tell me she can't hurt her family. I guess it's time to move on.
tigressA Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Yep, time to move on. From now on it would be a good idea to be up-front about your feelings and intentions from the start. None of that "probably" stuff. Just ask the girl out on a date and be done with it.
Author chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Yep, time to move on. From now on it would be a good idea to be up-front about your feelings and intentions from the start. None of that "probably" stuff. Just ask the girl out on a date and be done with it. You're right. On the other hand I couldn't expect her to make a decision just like that, especially if she has little ones to look after. If she had no interest for me, do you think she would've cried?
tigressA Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 You're right. On the other hand I couldn't expect her to make a decision just like that, especially if she has little ones to look after. If she had no interest for me, do you think she would've cried? I don't think she would've cried if she wasn't interested but ultimately she has chosen this other guy over you, so her interest in you doesn't matter.
bac Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 You're right. On the other hand I couldn't expect her to make a decision just like that, especially if she has little ones to look after. If she had no interest for me, do you think she would've cried? Perhaps it is a good idea to get to know a girl better before making a move. For example, you might want to ask her if she has a BF/a husband. Crying is a sign of depression or some emotional imbalance. There are many causes of emotional imbalance including drugs, diseases, abuse and many others. What is her situation? Where is the guy who should take care for her and his two kids?
Bluemoo Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Obviously she likes you and has got emotional because the situation is not ideal. She probably is a bit confused because she has a boyfriend but has feelings for you. Leave her alone for a while to make a decision.
Author chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Perhaps it is a good idea to get to know a girl better before making a move. For example, you might want to ask her if she has a BF/a husband. Crying is a sign of depression or some emotional imbalance. There are many causes of emotional imbalance including drugs, diseases, abuse and many others. What is her situation? Where is the guy who should take care for her and his two kids? I personally got emotional because she was so nice to me, really unlike any girl I know. I don't know her that well but that certainly got my attention and we'd talk quite a bit. She lives with her boyfriend (he works full time).
Author chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Obviously she likes you and has got emotional because the situation is not ideal. She probably is a bit confused because she has a boyfriend but has feelings for you. Leave her alone for a while to make a decision. I saw her in class again today and she seemed very emotional again. Maybe she just feels sorry for me?
Bluemoo Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Quote: Originally Posted by Bluemoo Obviously she likes you and has got emotional because the situation is not ideal. She probably is a bit confused because she has a boyfriend but has feelings for you. Leave her alone for a while to make a decision. I saw her in class again today and she seemed very emotional again. Maybe she just feels sorry for me? What do her eyes read? It sounds to me as if she feels guilty for leading you on.
Author chancellor Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 What do her eyes read? It sounds to me as if she feels guilty for leading you on. Hard for me to say as I'm confused by the situation. She was looking at me deep into the eyes and wasn't avoiding me.
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