Ex-gf lives with my friends

[EskimoBo]

Hello, new here

 

To start with a summary, this was my 1st relationship and she broke up with me about 3 months ago from a 6 month relationship. I'm 22 and she was 24, both in college (she is a grad). Looking back at everything I can understand the things that were leading up to it. During the relationship, I tried helping her if she needed anything (she was busy most of the time). But I did too much helping that it just didn't give her enough time for herself. She said things like, "why do you like me so much" and "there's other people that are better for you", near the time before the breakup. I understand that this was my 1st relationship and that I would need some tweaking to be better suited for one. She unhappy at the way things were going and then wanted the breakup. At first things were just so difficult, I was so lost, but friends had some good advice over the time and I can understand why things happened. So for this, people have said that I can find someone even better, and she really wasn't worth it. To me, I can see this, and at the same time I want to tell her these things that I've learned overtime after the breakup, but it's something that just has to left alone for now.

 

So now hangouts, when my friends are planning some sort of hangout (playing games, watching movies), it is usually at her place (because 2 good friends live there). I've only gone over to hangout a total of 3 times since the breakup. Each of those times, she usually stays in her room, or leaves the house at some time. We have said hello, but...thats about it. I'm not sure what I would like her to do around me, but I can't force her to do anything. I've asked my friends about this, saying that if I want to hangout with them, then I can, and that if she wants to be a hermit, then let her. So, I've been keeping this in mind each time.

 

But the last hangout which was a few days ago, was just more awkward for me. I don't know if its being around my friends as they talk to her as she's in her room, but, at times I feel like I don't want to be around them, it she was there or not. She later left the house not saying a word to anyone. This being said, I am now feeling awkward around my friends that I'm with. But I think my friends have a good idea of what I'm going through. I don't want the issue of the breakup to make me feel like I can't be with my friends.

 

I'm just not sure how to handle this, maybe just more time? Or to just keep things simple, and enjoy the company of my friends if she's there or not. Before the relationship, everyone was really good friends with everyone, and to think that there was a breakup between friends in a circle, I don't know if these friendships can keep up with the way I'm feeling now. I'm happy to be with my friends, I just think that I may need to stop overthinking about things so much and let more time pass. I have a strong feeling that my friends would be saying that to me. Recently, before the last hangout, I couldn't handle still being "friends" with her in facebook and other things, so I tried to say hello to reach out a bit. But with no response, I had to just block her completely as seeing mutual friends responding to her would just get at me.

Edited January 24, 2011 by EskimoBo
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