ScarletMeshell Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Hello everyone, I will give you the short version...I was recently dumped by a man I have loved for four years. We did the "travel dating" thing and worked to get his visa. I traveld to Europe evrery two months. I'm really hurting, feeling betrayed and foolish and sometimes want so much to beg him to change his mind. My question is are there sticky posts I should be reading, or threads for newbies? I'm not sure where to start. Any advice would be helpful. Thank you for reading.
0hpenelope Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 CaliGuy: No Contact Guide for the newbies, CaliGuy: Guide to Second Chances (I'm warning you right now, this isn't a thread that you're expecting it to be. It's a lot of tough love and it's not a guarantee to bring your ex back to you.) No Foolin: Do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you? You can also just start posting about your situation. Also, always take anything anyone tells you with a grain of salt. My take on your situation? Let him go. Don't try to convince him to stay with you, just let him walk away. Begging him to come back is a natural reaction in the very first stages of post-break up, but to beg him by calling every day, sending e-mails, sending text messages, so on and so forth in a consistent manner is something that you should not do. A lot of the LS dumpees have done this, with some even contacting their dumpers for a whole month everyday and they wonder why the dumpers are not responding. When someone wants to leave you, nothing you do will make them stay and most things you want to do will just drive them further away. Begging, contacting them for one more try, all of those things will just harden your ex's resolve that he's doing the right thing by leaving you. Read those guides and the threads and you'll find out why. It sounds like you haven't begged him to stay and that... that's an important step for your self-respect. Look inwards and focus on getting your life back. Move on and take care of you. You only have control over yourself. I'm really sorry for the heartbreak you're feeling and I hope you find the comfort you're looking for. *Yes, I struggle with everything I said to you, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
gator12 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 CaliGuy: No Contact Guide for the newbies, CaliGuy: Guide to Second Chances (I'm warning you right now, this isn't a thread that you're expecting it to be. It's a lot of tough love and it's not a guarantee to bring your ex back to you.) No Foolin: Do you really think contacting your ex is going to help you? You can also just start posting about your situation. Also, always take anything anyone tells you with a grain of salt. My take on your situation? Let him go. Don't try to convince him to stay with you, just let him walk away. Begging him to come back is a natural reaction in the very first stages of post-break up, but to beg him by calling every day, sending e-mails, sending text messages, so on and so forth in a consistent manner is something that you should not do. A lot of the LS dumpees have done this, with some even contacting their dumpers for a whole month everyday and they wonder why the dumpers are not responding. When someone wants to leave you, nothing you do will make them stay and most things you want to do will just drive them further away. Begging, contacting them for one more try, all of those things will just harden your ex's resolve that he's doing the right thing by leaving you. Read those guides and the threads and you'll find out why. It sounds like you haven't begged him to stay and that... that's an important step for your self-respect. Look inwards and focus on getting your life back. Move on and take care of you. You only have control over yourself. I'm really sorry for the heartbreak you're feeling and I hope you find the comfort you're looking for. *Yes, I struggle with everything I said to you, too. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Couldn't have said it better myself, those threads by CaliGuy are amazing places to start, he really helped me alot with my first major break up and will help you too. When you go into NC though the success is measured by how much you want to succeed. IE not replying to little (how are you texts) and that kind of stuff. Good luck, and don't worry, the only place you can go from where you are is up.
Author ScarletMeshell Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Thank you both for your helpful kind advice. I have already read what you suggested and suspect I will be reading them often. Thanks again.
gator12 Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 No problem at all scarlet, feel free to post on here any time times get hard for you.
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