BlueJeansGirl Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I have posted a thread previous to this one and did not get many responses so I thought I would try again and tell you that I am still wishing for something to happen. To some it all up in a nutshell I can't seem to "let go"..Everyone says I did nothing wrong and that it is his loss not mine. But I find that hard to take in. I did allot for this guy...Made his lunches, Made his bed, and even folded his clean clothes while he was working...I LOVED his family and his friends. I am bit on the shy side..while he is more outgoing and "open" about things. He was acting very distant to me on one weekend...I texted him asking what was going on..and he said he was no longer excited anymore and that it comes and goes..Personally I was the one trying to get him to do allot of stuff and he never did..I said "lets go to the movies" he said they are expensive..I agreed yet he would go if his friends went??..He would still have to pay for the movie ticket. The night we talked I asked him if he wanted to be with other girls..he said "sometimes" then I start crying and he said "I'm not going to lie to you" I tried to leave his house and he said "no, stay" I talked then fell asleep..I left at 12:30 that night..he texted me at 3am "I am so sorry I feel horrible about this"..I texted him "you want me or you don't you can't have it both ways..and I'm taking my stuff" he said "give me time please" I said "ok..But I'm still taking my stuff" I drive past him while he was driving to work..he texted me asking what I was doing.."I told you I'm taking my stuff"..he said "I know why" I never responded to him yet just asked if his roommate was home "or if the "hide a key" was still placed in its spot..he said yes. His roommate had no idea what was going on..I drove back to my house..he said what did you take? I told him and he said "I thought so"..I said I thought you wanted me to take my stuff..he said "no..I never said that". I asked him if there was another girl he said "nope" Couple hours go by..I text him saying "I am giving you you're space" he responded "what do you mean" I am giving you what you asked for..Then 1 hour later he says "I am sorry it has to end this way..I hope you don't hate me"...I told him I didn't mean to take my stuff.."x"= I know but these are my feelings. I texted his friend and he mentioned that he had no idea what was going on..also that "x" doesnt know what he wants..and is not looking for another girl.. Well being my emotional state I am in..I text "x" everyday then I mention something that was on his facebook so he proceeded to call me a stalker, that I assumed things, to lay off, and stay out of his business..also that he will do the whole friend thing when he is ready.. I have stopped communicating with him...His friends and family are still very nice to me even though I have a feeling he told everyone about my "stalkish ways"... I saw his roommate at a bar...we talked I also saw "x" he ignored me completely (hurt like hell)...I asked him if "x" told him about my incident and he said yes..But he did not think I was one..Considering I was still on his facebook page. Also 3 months after he left me "x" got a girlfriend and told everyone how happy he is and that she keeps him on his toes..blah blah blah...Mind you I had deleted him off of facebook prier to him having a girlfriend (so I did a little snooping)..bad idea on my part. His roommate mentioned that his girlfriend was "bitchy" and that it never worked out for them..I was shocked (really I was) yes I mentioned her name and he wondered how I knew but nothing els was said on that matter. Now he is going out with a new girl.. I did not have a clue he was dating someone new or that she had broken up with his last gf...Hence on how can I be a stalker if I didn't know...But what did hurt is that I tried emailing him and he had changed his email address..Most likely so I couldn't still "stalk" him. Since I have deleted him from facebook there is no way to comunicate to him except though phone..and I will not do that. I am waiting for him to contact me..PLus I seriously thought he would have told me he was sorry for calling me a hurtful thing but I have gotten over that... Over all I was hurt..He knew how much I loved him and so did his friends and family. The thing is yes he broke up with me but I don't think they know how it all went down..I walked out on him (in a way)...I am letting life run its course. I know he has not forgotten about me. But I wish he would contact me..Or at least say "hi" I would like to add him back on facebook but always stop myself. I still think there might be hope one day in the future...when we are older. But then I think about it more and why would he ever want to contact me after what I did? Given the information..From the whole break-up "process"..what is you're intake?
screwball Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I don't get it. I have to admit that I had a hard time following the story, but it just seems like he either fell out of love with you or was never really into you in the first place. As he pulled away you tried to grasp to whatever was left. It didn't seem like anything really hurtful or cruel was done by either of you though, so I guess there is the possibility of getting back together in the future but I wouldn't really hang my hat on that. What's with the facebook and texting? Don't put too much emphasis on it, just let go, stop communicating, and heal. Relationships need a foundation stronger than just exchanging favors and it sounds like he just didn't share the feelings that you had for him.
gator12 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) Well I think he was definitly not interested you anymore by the time of the "break up" if you can call that poor excuse for a break up a break up. Honestly, he was probably hoping you would initiate it so he doesn't look like the bad guy. Anyways there's no point in talking to him right now, all you're doing is feeding his ego and letting him know you'll be there waiting while he's free to look for other girls with a safety net to fall back on. If you go into NC and I mean strict NC you will be able to allow yourself to heal. Don't respond to any text he sends, any email, apology, whatever. The only thing you should respond to is if he comes begging for you to come back. Thing is by the time that happens, you'll probably be moved on to someone better for you anyways. Smile, life is wonderful, no contact is hard and it's gonna get a lot worse before it gets better, but it will get better. I promise you that. Ooo and here's a useful link posted by an old great of the site CaliGuy, it definitly helped me. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t81399/ Edited January 24, 2011 by gator12 forgot to post a link
Author BlueJeansGirl Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks... I have not contacted him at all It's been 5 months so far and I'm still going strong...it is very hard sometimes. I felt awesome the next morning when I did not text him after that night at the club..Yet it hurt when he didn't even look at me. I just don't want him to think I am still a stalker..or he forgets about it...then when he see's me he remembers it all over again.
Rainboww Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 I'm going through the same thing, Broke up with me via text, deleated me off facebook.. Called me a 'stalker' told me 'I needed to see a doctor' all because I wanted an explanation. I was in panic mode.. But I don't blame myself, I loved the dude. I didn't do anything terrible.. He made me out to be a psychotic freak.. Perhaps made him feel better about his decision. To cut a long story short, I was left with the only option to walk away and shut my mouth. It's been 4 months for me of NC. The last few days I've been wanting to break the silence. I'm too scared to do that. Beside's these 4 months have been mentally draining and I'm not sure I want to risk it all. I hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel for us.
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