makelemonade1974 Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Have you guys heard about this third date rule? I just got out of a long-term relationship and figure I must be finally over my ex because I met this guy and we have sizzling chemistry - or at least I think he is seriously hot. We had lunch and he emailed me the next morning asking me out for drinks this week. He's so pretty I almost think he's a little out of my league. I don't want to get married or anything, but I would like a regular lover who I have an emotional connection with. Is sex on the third date slutty? I'm just thrilled to have my sex drive back. It went away for a long while after my breakup. I didn't think ANYONE was good-looking. I'm thinking this guy is a big deal. And btw he has a great personality too (lol - can't believe I am writing this).
alexlakeman Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 By the third date there has to be some hot chemistry and he will know if there might be sex.. but it's not writing.. My LAST "serious" g/f I waited 4-5, maybe 6th date to have sex.., but ever since it's been first date or nothing , period.. If you like the guy, AND the guy likes you, he will wait 2-3-4 dates.. For example, if I have a pretty "hot" first / second date, and I KNOW I WILL have sex with that person, I'll "wait", it's just a matter of time.. Once a guy invests a coin or two in 2-3 dates, he'll stick around for the sex at least.. GOOD luck
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 ^ I think Alex meant to add an asterik and say that He prefers 1st date sex. Actually most men/women does anyways, but most would shy away from anything serious after that. If you have to follow a rule then you have to remember that most men prefer to chase and desire a women who doesn't give it up early. Of course, if the sexual chemistry is there, sex by the 3-4th date is reasonable.
cboy90 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 $hit! It took me and my ex (both 17 years old at the time) almost 7 months before we had sex. Only took 2-3 months before we did the other things (oral).
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 $hit! It took me and my ex (both 17 years old at the time) almost 7 months before we had sex. Only took 2-3 months before we did the other things (oral). LMAO sex on the high school level is different. You're more likely to shy away from intimacy if you're still a virgin. Also, most kids don't really know what it is they're doing until they've actually done it.
cboy90 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Yeah, definitely true. I'm almost 21 now, and if I started dating another girl, I don't think I could wait 7 months. Depends on the situation though.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 ^ I think Alex meant to add an asterik and say that He prefers 1st date sex. Actually most men/women does anyways, but most would shy away from anything serious after that. Huh??? Totally not following you here.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Huh??? Totally not following you here. I was trying to be general rather than specific. I was trying to say that most men/women who have sex on the first date tend not to want anything serious overall.
Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 **** HIS BRAINS OUt LOL!!!!!!!!! Seriously - if u have met a guy who u are very attracted to, and who is ALSO attracted to you, then GO for it! The third day, or even FIRST date - is not slutty if you **** a guy lol - It is ONLY slutty if u settle for ANY guy. When u meet guys who u have something special with, GO for it! But YES - wait for the third or fourth date before SEx lol - that is common sense. It is only slutty, if you meet a guy who u ate not that keen about - and you HAVe sex with him JUST because you can. No, if you meet a guy that you have sizzling chemistry with, GO for it, but still using common sense - which is that you should not hold back, but yeah, to not **** him right away either LOL - leave it 3 - 4 dates at least:)
alexlakeman Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I was trying to be general rather than specific. I was trying to say that most men/women who have sex on the first date tend not to want anything serious overall. I would be interested to read about that study on your averages....do you have a source? If not, you can't generalize. Trust me...for the part, you do NOT have sex on the first or second date, and relationships happen if they are meant to happen weather it's sex on the first date or 10th date.. PLUS, it depends on the AGE...The younger , the longer the wait would be fine, I would say... Don't screw yourself up by having sex too soon... if you are young. Once you get older, it's different.. Both consenting adults... no one is putting a gun to no ones head for sex....it just happens if its meant to happen and if they guy is good enough in "seducing" the woman, AND the woman lets herself go..
xpaperxcutx Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I would be interested to read about that study on your averages....do you have a source? If not, you can't generalize. Trust me...for the part, you do NOT have sex on the first or second date, and relationships happen if they are meant to happen weather it's sex on the first date or 10th date.. PLUS, it depends on the AGE...The younger , the longer the wait would be fine, I would say... Don't screw yourself up by having sex too soon... if you are young. Once you get older, it's different.. Both consenting adults... no one is putting a gun to no ones head for sex....it just happens if its meant to happen and if they guy is good enough in "seducing" the woman, AND the woman lets herself go.. Again, I emphasize my need to generalize. I'm not saying that having sex on the first date is a bad thing, but I'm not saying it's a good thing either. It can always go either way- 50-50 says she might blow his brains out and the guy would still disappear. Level of maturity does not come into because sex is animalistic, and when you're in the heat of things, you certainly don't think about things long- term. For the OP's sake, if she decides to " -ucking blow his minds out", lets hope she's really good in the bedroom. Last time I heard, a guy would come back for seconds if the sex is out of this world.
Sith Apprentice Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Firm believer in the 3 date rule. After 3 dates and no sex I start wondering "who the hell does this chick think she is?"
oaks Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Have you guys heard about this third date rule? I've heard of lots of stupid "rules". Ignore them. Go at your own pace, or if you're comfortable to slightly change your pace to match your partner's then do that.
zengirl Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I've never had sex on the 3rd date. I just never knew anyone well to be intimate with that early, and I only like LTR sex. But it seems like you're looking for something more fluid and casual, maybe? Clarify what you want to yourself then go after it. The more serious you are about relationships, generally, the longer you wait, I feel. I don't feel sex is something we should look at as "slutty" if you want to do it. However, make sure that it fits in with what you really want. At date 3, you still don't know if the guy will really stick around for long (sex or no sex) typically. If knowing that, some sex still sounds like a great idea, and it's what you want, go for it.
Author makelemonade1974 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Thanks for all the replies. I tend to get emotionally involved after sex, so I'm a little afraid to have do it too early because I'm afraid he'll split afterwards. I'm not worried about being terrible in bed - I'm a woman in my 30's (serious sexual peak), I know what I'm doing, etc etc. He's younger than me by about 7 years - yum. I do want a relationship, but more like a regular lover - not so much marriage or living with somebody. I've been there, done that, and have no interest in doing it again. I like my independence. I think I'll wait until at least date 3 or 4 and feel him out a bit. I'm a bit put off that he's so crazy attractive - looks like a male model. Are all really hot guys players?
depplover_1980 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I would say bone this guy next date if he is hot!! But then I always get it out of the way with ASAP to check for compatibility!!
iJester Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'm willing to bet that this guy will be the one to get attached. When I was 22-23(just a couple years ago) I managed to bang a 27, 30, and 32 year old. They were beautiful, great lovers, and really open and cool. I was hooked and wanted something serious from all of them after only a short time, which is quite the opposite of my on-to-the-next mentality with women my age(starting to change, slowly).
Author makelemonade1974 Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Well I hope so - this is the first "good one" I've been out with since my breakup and I've been out with a few. I'm 36, he's 29, so the age thing is tricky, but I look pretty young for my age. I'm trying to be "mysterious" and let him take the lead, but it's really hard not to suggest screwing in the car on the way to the restaurant lol. Oh - and here's the worst part - he's a psychologist! I'm so intimidated it's not even funny. Ya'll are great btw - love this thread.
depplover_1980 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Well I hope so - this is the first "good one" I've been out with since my breakup and I've been out with a few. I'm 36, he's 29, so the age thing is tricky, but I look pretty young for my age. I'm trying to be "mysterious" and let him take the lead, but it's really hard not to suggest screwing in the car on the way to the restaurant lol. Oh - and here's the worst part - he's a psychologist! I'm so intimidated it's not even funny. Ya'll are great btw - love this thread. Do it, there is nothing hotter than those first steamy car moments!!
Jonno_S Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I've heard of lots of stupid "rules". Ignore them. Go at your own pace, or if you're comfortable to slightly change your pace to match your partner's then do that. 100% agree. The complexity of human interaction cannot and should not be boiled down to any hard and fast rule. People who have rules scare me. My only rule is my slightly sarcastic "3 hour rule": I generally don't make plans more than 3 hours in advance.
Jonno_S Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I would say bone this guy next date if he is hot!! But then I always get it out of the way with ASAP to check for compatibility!! Can you please call me?
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