Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Ok well, I suppose that's what facebook is for... you can always stalk their facebook to check they are still alive and see how they are doing.Seeing as you(woman) are clearly the only one who actually cared about how they were doing. Theirs(men) was purely dependent of the possibility of sex/love/etc Ever heard of the block feature on Facebook? That's right, you'll get blocked too. Naturally I'd care about her wellbeing, but there are ways around direct contact to be able to check on her wellbeing, like mutual acquaintances.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 there is the exception to the rule Okay then Mr Art Critic:rolleyes:
Seamless74 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'm not sure what to say to that, its slighly annoying and I will not give a sarcastic response. Why should women view men as a sexual threat? Maybe we should section off men and women to socialize separately and the only wsex you have is with the woman your mom and dad chose for you. You can't have a divorce ever, so if you hate her, you will have too put up with her or arrange a little "accident"! You will be able to get away with it 3 or 4 times before people get suspicous. Also, if a woman s using your discomfort to boost her ego then she is a mean and nasty person, if you want to stop talking to her for that then fair play, but how does masculinity come into it? Im afraid theres probably no way to bridge the proverbial gap here.. I would posit however that your view on THIS particular matter shows a certain degree of naivete or lack of awareness of what others maybe feeling outside of yourself. In other words just a lack of understanding of the human condition.. your answer to my post is rather annoying in and of itself sorry to say... (sexual threat) means someone youd consider sleeping with its really not a bad thing I dont know what the hell you thought i meant by that.. i suggest for your own sake disregard all the advice and feedback on the post and continue to do whatever you please in this department and at some point you will realize that your actions to have reactions..
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 I'm getting the feeling you've been giving off wrong signals to guys from the start. Perhaps you need to be clear to them the first second you smell their interest is beyond mere friendship and draw a clear line. I'm not giving off the wrong signals to guys. I can't just go randomly cutting off guys who I think my be interested in me sexually. The poor guy may have just been innocently smiling/checking out the person behind me. Or I may remind him of his sister or his evil ex. That would be incredibly egotistical of me to do that. I am not gonna deny myself the pleasure/imput of male company because they may see me in a short dress and think about shagging me. I definitely would avoid guys I am so intensely attracted to i get all hot and bothered looking at them... But a married friend of mine says if she fancies a guy she often tells them and the guys feel good and she gets it off her chest and all is good.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 I've never had an unattractive woman seek my friendship. Never had an unattractive woman want to hang out. The ugly truth is their looking for more orbiters or putting me on the short list & keeping me close for safe keeping. Because as soon as a good looking woman starts showing interest they decide they really like me & want to date. I think to myself, well their attractive, really cool & we already know each other fairly well, why not. Then the games begin. The wanting me to treat them like we are exclusive while they come up with BS ways to avoid sex. Eventually I slam the door hard or they literally jump into bed with some guy they just met & he's their new BF. This is very depressing state of affairs, what an awful stream of women you are meeting how o you find these women ? Are you on a dating site? Maybe you can change your haunts and see if this changes things?
Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I am not gonna deny myself the pleasure/imput of male company I'm not saying you should. You might even gain a few sincere male friends. I am not gonna deny myself the pleasure/imput of male company because they may see me in a short dress and think about shagging me. I'm not saying you should, but I doubt you want guys like that to be your friend.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 However you starting this thread and your own replies show that you've been encountering the difficulties I and others have been mentioning. I'm pretty sure we are misunderstanding each other, but that's how it goes sometimes. I have found that you don't answer the question I asked or talk about the point I and say something slightly related that brings up new points entirely. Which I keep trying to address but you then reply with something else again slightly related buy not dealing with the questions I asked or the points I raised. Even as I type this, I know you will say, I have been answering your questions and addressing your point and then again talk about something slightly related Yes I have been having problems and that's why I started this thread and I'm interested in the replies, that's why i am replying and talking about my experiences....
phineas Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 (edited) This is very depressing state of affairs, what an awful stream of women you are meeting how o you find these women ? Are you on a dating site? Maybe you can change your haunts and see if this changes things? Mostly dead end jobs while in college. And in college. Then just at work. Starts with lunch or happy hr. After my seperation I met one I graduated from high school with. She went a whole yr pretending to be my friend during my separation. Then made a move on me at divorce time when I started going out with other women. Then I was instant emotional tampon without sex. slammed the door hard on her. Here is a link to the recent debacle. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t261746/ However i'm anything but depressed about this these days. Just annoyed at the wasting of my time when they knew what I was looking for. Edited January 24, 2011 by phineas
Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I have found that you don't answer the question I asked or talk about the point I and say something slightly related that brings up new points entirely. Which I keep trying to address but you then reply with something else again slightly related buy not dealing with the questions I asked or the points I raised. Even as I type this, I know you will say, I have been answering your questions and addressing your point and then again talk about something slightly related Yes I have been having problems and that's why I started this thread and I'm interested in the replies, that's why i am replying and talking about my experiences.... If you feel I've been hijacking your thread simply say so and I'll leave it alone. I get the idea though you don't like my answers. By all means, go do what you think you need to do as you know your personal situation far better than I do. I can only speak for myself and in general terms that may or may not apply to your situation.
irc333 Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 And what's wierd is, it's mostly women that do the friendzoning. I don't know how this got it's start, but it seems women have a hard time understanding how this could open up a can of worms of resentment and game playing. The consequences or outcome of a woman FZ'ing a man can turn out this way: 1. The man simply disagrees and walks away from the woman who FZ'ed him. 2. The man goes along with being friends with a woman, and hangs out with her in frustration thinking she'll come around...but she does not. 3. The man goes along with being under the "guise" of being a friend, and then attempts to make some kind of romantic move (typically physical) to see 1 of 2 outcomes a. She runs b. She reciprocates the physical. Also, as a man gets older and into his years, the more foolish it is to FZ a man into his late 30's and 40's. Because that's the time in his life where the desire to BE With a woman romantically is pretty high. I'm not sure why this is not realized, I don't know where this comes from, but there was a time when women went out with me, it was a date, it was an intention to seek some kind of romantic outcome. But now they're throwing up all these hoops and obstacles and smoke clouds. lol If you friendzoned me, you would never see me again, because I would want to be your lover, not your friend. I'm not going to hang around and torment myself while I'm in love with you, just because you want a friend. It wouldn't be your decision. I would want to move on and go look for greener grass. The second reason I would break contact with you is out of respect for my new girlfriend.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 , but men ARE territorial when it comes to their woman/girl. They will have a hard time facing the sight of their girl with another. Men do have hearts you know. Suppose you got friendzoned by your LTR boyfriend and a week later he starts to have a passionate relationship with another girl/woman. How would you feel. Would you stick around and watch while your heart bleeds out? I'm willing to bet you wouldn't. Well, I'd like to argue that if they liked you so much they would not be able to start a relationship with someone else after a week. So you may hurt but you have cut youself loose of a horrible person. I have been in a situation where I had to break up with someone because he was too possessive and made me feel insecure. Classics signs of someone who was cheating.Within a week he had slept with someone else, how did he find someone that fast? Probably was shagging her all the way through, while I was going out with him!! He invites me to the theatre with him and a bunch of people, I go along and he sits there, takes my hand in his and says how much he genuinely cares for me and loves me, with a bunch of people staring at us as he does this. I was so angry I just said loudly "is that why you had sex with someone else a week after we broke up?" He couldn't talk... We still talk as we were in a LTR and you don't stop caring cos the relationship is over. Not every day, not met up in ages but,,,
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 The difference for men is that when they b/c emotionally attached he will want more than friendship whereas a women can be emotionally attached and be fine with friendship only. Women have an easier time being just friends and no, it's not all just about getting sex for men. Its not just a friendship, wow seriously??? You need to put effort into a friendship or do guys work so hard polishing their car, lifting beer cans that they only have enough energy to look for sex or text their girlfriend as she gives them sex and she will get angry if they don't text?????
Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Well, I'd like to argue that if they liked you so much they would not be able to start a relationship with someone else after a week. So you may hurt but you have cut youself loose of a horrible person. I have been in a situation where I had to break up with someone because he was too possessive and made me feel insecure. Classics signs of someone who was cheating.Within a week he had slept with someone else, how did he find someone that fast? Probably was shagging her all the way through, while I was going out with him!! He invites me to the theatre with him and a bunch of people, I go along and he sits there, takes my hand in his and says how much he genuinely cares for me and loves me, with a bunch of people staring at us as he does this. I was so angry I just said loudly "is that why you had sex with someone else a week after we broke up?" He couldn't talk... We still talk as we were in a LTR and you don't stop caring cos the relationship is over. Not every day, not met up in ages but,,, That is SO NOT the type of guy I was talking about in my replies. Like I said, my personal and/or general remarks may or may not apply to your situation. In this case, it clearly does not apply.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 I hate to be blunt, but.... I don't require a female friend. I require a GF. actually, i'd like GF. i'm quite content being single right now. Oh well, I suppose the fact that getting a decent female friend who can demystify women for you and the fact that she has lots of female friends completely serve no purpose for you then? That's ignoring the act that she is a friend and all the benefits that come with friendship providing you don't try to make friends with a pscho??
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Ever heard of the block feature on Facebook? That's right, you'll get blocked too. Naturally I'd care about her wellbeing, but there are ways around direct contact to be able to check on her wellbeing, like mutual acquaintances. What if you met her on a dating site, or in a bar and you don't have mutual acquaintances, or will that be the exception?
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Ever heard of the block feature on Facebook? That's right, you'll get blocked too. Naturally I'd care about her wellbeing, but there are ways around direct contact to be able to check on her wellbeing, like mutual acquaintances. What if you met her on a dating site, or in a bar and you don't have mutual acquaintances, or will that be the exception?
Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Oh well, I suppose the fact that getting a decent female friend who can demystify women for you and the fact that she has lots of female friends completely serve no purpose for you then? That's ignoring the act that she is a friend and all the benefits that come with friendship providing you don't try to make friends with a pscho?? Obviously his sincere attempts to befriend women have had more downsides than upsides for him. You realize that by now right?
Yamaha Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Its not just a friendship, wow seriously??? You need to put effort into a friendship or do guys work so hard polishing their car, lifting beer cans that they only have enough energy to look for sex or text their girlfriend as she gives them sex and she will get angry if they don't text????? ???? It is clear you know nothing about men if that is the response you gave to my post.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 (sexual threat) means someone youd consider sleeping with its really not a bad thing I dont know what the hell you thought i meant by that. I googled sexual threat and all the definitions come up on on PUA sites. I can't be bothered to read through pua forums I have no intention of knowing engaging in discusion with people who behave as if all the women in the world are dogs and they are the greatest dog handlers the world has ever seen. Please don't comment on my thread anymore.
Nexus One Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 What if you met her on a dating site, or in a bar and you don't have mutual acquaintances, or will that be the exception? In that case she'd get my e-mail address, but I wouldn't reply to her e-mails unless there would be a dire situation where she'd need help. However all I would need to know are 3 things. - Is she healthy? (If not, then I'd offer help) - Is she safe? (If not, then I'd offer help) - Is she happy? (If not, then I'd feel bad for her, but may not contact her) If the answer is yes to all three, then good for her and I'll keep going my merry way.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 I'm not saying you should. You might even gain a few sincere male friends. Well I hope so, I don't need every man in the world to be my friend! I'm not saying you should, but I doubt you want guys like that to be your friend. I think human beings are all sexual beings, we just are. The random comment is fine, I guess. However, I once was talking to someone who I though was my friend, as I was dating someone and it went badly, I rang him up to cry my eyes and he insisted that I come to his house, and watch DVDs with him and refused to listen unless I did. That is not cool
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 ere is a link to the recent debacle. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t261746/ However i'm anything but depressed about this these days. Just annoyed at the wasting of my time when they knew what I was looking for. Oh I read your thread... have you changed your avatar? Yeah that girl is a nut job...I'd say cut losses and leave her alone! Hmmm, you need to change up somehow... Do something different open up your social circle? People like that are just a nuisance. Start to make you think that the world is populated by nutters I know what you mean about wasting your time in my longest stint of singledom, four years, I met such a wide variety of unsuitable guys, I ended up spending alternating between crying with frustration and sighing in despair argggh, just keep your chin up man. Sane girls are out there:bunny:
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 That is SO NOT the type of guy I was talking about in my replies. Like I said, my personal and/or general remarks may or may not apply to your situation. In this case, it clearly does not apply. Ok but you keep saying it in such general terms I keep applying it to me.... Maybe if you talked about specific instances instead?
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 Obviously his sincere attempts to befriend women have had more downsides than upsides for him. You realize that by now right? Well yes, but I'm sure I have been through much worse than him, seriously. I'm not gonna write off the whole male gender because of a few, well, loads and load and loads of pathetic idiots.
Author Questionis Posted January 24, 2011 Author Posted January 24, 2011 ???? It is clear you know nothing about men if that is the response you gave to my post. I was being sarcastic as I thought you were, unless you actually think that side part in your avatar picture is sexy...If that's a relative, I apologise.
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