Confused_Chump Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 My relationship ended 1.5 years ago due to negligence on my part. During this time, I've been able to get back on my feet and live a regular life again. I no longer feel the sharp pain, the anger, the regrets or the urge to reconcile. However, I've been feeling a sense of guilt about letting go of the last bit of feelings that I have for my ex. I want nothing more than to just stop having these feelings and be able to have a regular friendship with her. But when I think about the prospect of falling in love with another person, I just feel slightly guilty about it. She has already moved onto a couple of relationships since ours ended and have told me she wants me to find happiness in my life too. So I am very confused as to why I am feeling this guilt. Any ideas?
2010_Sorry Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I am getting from your post that you have confused your inability to forgive yourself as guilt. I know you indicated that you are past the phase where you regret and desire reconciliation, and I truly believe that you have. But don't lose sight of the fact that you are who you are BECAUSE of the decisions you made in the past, whether they were good or bad. You have learned from those decisions and are a better person because of them. Once you focus on this, you will be ready to step out there and be everything that you were meant to be in your next relationship.
Author Confused_Chump Posted January 23, 2011 Author Posted January 23, 2011 (edited) I am getting from your post that you have confused your inability to forgive yourself as guilt. I know you indicated that you are past the phase where you regret and desire reconciliation, and I truly believe that you have. But don't lose sight of the fact that you are who you are BECAUSE of the decisions you made in the past, whether they were good or bad. You have learned from those decisions and are a better person because of them. Once you focus on this, you will be ready to step out there and be everything that you were meant to be in your next relationship. The guilt I feel now is quite different from the guilt that I felt when I first broke up with her. During that time, I felt guilty/remorseful for all the suffering that I brought upon her during our relationship due to my negligence. I was able to slowly forgive myself for that. The relationship was extremely special to me, but I just never showed it as well as I should have. Now that I want to finally let go of the last bit of feelings that I have, I feel somewhat guilty because its almost like doing so is going against my beliefs. My subconscious is saying "If the relationship was so important/special, then you shouldn't be letting it go". Edited January 23, 2011 by Confused_Chump
Andymack Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 I feel in a similar way possibly because the reason that my ex split with me was almost the same. I think it might be down to me wanting to make it right and not being able to and I think it is that part of me that is having a tough time letting go as it feels like there's still some unfinished business left. I suppose its like not saying the things you wanted to say before someone dies and there always that feeling of "if only" that runs thru your head.
Recommended Posts