Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'd say most people lose their virginity between 14-22, so yes, you're outside the most common age bracket. Sure, there are some men who will find it odd or off-putting that you've never had sex, or never had a relationship. And there are others who won't care. All you can do is own who you are and go forward in a positive way. I don't think it's some kind of major handicap. I agree with this. But I'll also add that it seems people are a LOT more forgivable for a woman to be a virgin past 22 than a guy, so I wouldn't worry too much. I also think people are more concerned about the reasons for your virginity than the lack of experience. If someone is a virgin by choice (saving for marriage), it seems more forgivable. In any event, Z is right that some will care, and some won't. The ones who don't matter will mind, and the ones that do, won't.
Star Gazer Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Huh, I'm 24 and a technical virgin. No biggie. I know many, many people my age or older who haven't had intercourse either. I don't get what's with people and vaginal intercourse, anyway. To be honest, even though I would definitely like to try vaginal one day, I don't see it as a big thing if I don't. It is just one of many sexual activities. What hydroclorps said about each person being different is quite right anyhow. I also think that knowledge, open-mindedness, willingness to experiment, and eagerness to please completely outweigh any sort of 'experience' a person might have. The bolded of your last paragrapgh kinda contradicts the rest. Don't knock it 'til you try it!!
carhill Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 Would this weird a guy out to discover at my age I'm still a virgin? Would it be a red flag that there's something wrong with me? If disclosed, a compatible man might find it a bit surprising and unusual, but not *abnormal*. If you are able to form healthy and mutually satisfying relationships, it is overwhelmingly likely that nothing is wrong with you. You have a particular attraction, sexual and relationship style. Some men will match up and some won't. How would you feel if you met a 26 yo male virgin? Do you think you could form a healthy relationship with him? Could you find him attractive? How has your experience in that regard played out since you've started to date? How has your response to the non-virgin (overwhelming majority) men been? Do you feel intimidated by their 'experience'? Why? I found, having been a virgin for about a decade longer than yourself, mostly due to spiritual beliefs, that the roadblocks lay within myself, rather than potential partners and their perception. In the end, they never knew. Hope it works out for you
nat_nat Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 I'm a virgin as well (in terms of full intercourse) and I've just turned 20. I have never felt weird about it, although sometimes I do think I may be missing out on a lot! I realised when I fooled around with a guy recently (touching, oral sex, etc) that I wasn't quite ready for full sex, and he said he didn't think I was either. So we stopped what we were doing and it was fine, you should be respected for only doing what you want. If you don't feel ready or happy about it, then it's simple: don't do it! Rather than thinking about your age and timing when you should stop being a virgin, you just need to think about your own mind and what you actually want. I think I want it physically, but I'm blocking it mentally because of my own issues. I've always been EXTREMELY shy around guys, even finding it difficult to be around guys sometimes and talk to them. And I just don't have the confidence in myself to feel good enough for guys that ask me out, I always back away. Again, don't worry about your age. It's what YOU feel that counts, not what everyone (society) is saying you should be doing
Els Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 The bolded of your last paragrapgh kinda contradicts the rest. Don't knock it 'til you try it!! True! I did mention that I would certainly like to try it, when the time comes. I would hope that once I did, I wouldn't fall into the trap of seeing it as the end-all-be-all of sex, though.
Citizen Erased Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 True! I did mention that I would certainly like to try it, when the time comes. I would hope that once I did, I wouldn't fall into the trap of seeing it as the end-all-be-all of sex, though. It may not be the only sexual activity but it's pretty much the main event.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted January 25, 2011 Author Posted January 25, 2011 Okay, I don't feel so abnormal anymore, but I'm really impatient to get into a real relationship and to lose my virginity. I feel like the clock is ticking.
Star Gazer Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 It may not be the only sexual activity but it's pretty much the main event. That it is! It's like saying a movie is silly to get excited about, when all you've done is bought some yummy popcorn and sat through some enticing trailers.
Floridaman Posted January 25, 2011 Posted January 25, 2011 Okay, I don't feel so abnormal anymore, but I'm really impatient to get into a real relationship and to lose my virginity. I feel like the clock is ticking. Why are you worried? You'll find the right man. Trust me. There are many men with similar "inexperience." Some may get tired of me posting this, though I lost my virginity in HS, only had sex 3-4X (it was AWFUL), I wasn't sexual for most of my 20s (Like Carhill, mostly for religious reasons). After two "encounters" in my late 20s, I decided casual sex wasn't for me. As I got into my late 20s, I got really lonel and feared God had forgotten me. I did all the right things: tried to treat women well, didn't press them for sex and was more interested in forming a relationship that could lead to a life partner. I figured the great sex would come after the lifetime relationship. Both came, just a couple of years later than I wanted. Three mos. after I turned 30, I met my future wife. 3 mos. after that I unleashed my sexual desire. So don't thinking you're time is closing in.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Dont have sex just for the sake of having sex. Have sex because you are horny. What if I feel both?
Disillusioned Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Okay, I don't feel so abnormal anymore, but I'm really impatient to get into a real relationship and to lose my virginity. I feel like the clock is ticking. I purposely smashed my clock out of anger. I'm 43 and I'll never give it up for any woman. They don't deserve it.
Floridaman Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Originally Posted by lifeasiknowit Okay, I don't feel so abnormal anymore, but I'm really impatient to get into a real relationship and to lose my virginity. I feel like the clock is ticking. I purposely smashed my clock out of anger. I'm 43 and I'll never give it up for any woman. They don't deserve it. Yeah, dissillusioned. I don't know what the rush is. I lost mine in HS, but really regret it. Then mostly lived without sex until 30. If I could get a mulligan, I wouldn't have lost mine and would have waited for the one I fell in love with at 30... There is a diff. between "making love" - where you put your heart and soul into the other person.... and "having sex." You can't get that passion in casual sex or in some kind of rush to "lose it..."
DuskCrush Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 No it's not abnormal. Don't worry about it too much.
Author lifeasiknowit Posted January 26, 2011 Author Posted January 26, 2011 Do you? It sounds to me like you just want to lose your virginity. No, I feel both. On my last date I felt like I had to control myself, and it sucked because the guy was very reserved or uninterested. Yes, I want to lose it, but I also want it.
Floridaman Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) No, I feel both. On my last date I felt like I had to control myself, and it sucked because the guy was very reserved or uninterested. Yes, I want to lose it, but I also want it. Seems contradictory. Go with what others here have recommended. Don't want to be blunt, but I assume you pleasure yourself as well. Can't say it's as good as the real thing, but it always helps and is far better bec. you won't have to deal with the consequences of giving yourself to the wrong person. Again, speaking from experience... Edited January 26, 2011 by Floridaman
irc333 Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Ever notice some people who see something that's actually good AS being bad? That not partaking in a particular "vice", makes that person an outcast. I see it all the time.
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