how do i get him back? my heart is breaking & he doesnt seem to care..

[exquisite]

2 nights ago, my bf of more than a year broke up with me out of the blue. this is the second time he's done something like this, we got back together 4 months ago & everything was perfect, until that night.

he was helping me clean my room after he came home from work. since we got back together, i moved out of my parents house & got my own apartment. even though he has his own house on campus, he would constantly stay at my place. in fact, for the last 2 months, we were basically living together. it was much more convenient for him to go to work from my place.

anyways. about 3 weeks ago i started taking a birth control pill & i became a little conscious about my weight, since it seemed to me like i was gaining some. i talked to him about it many times & he knew i was having a problem with it.

well, when we were cleaning, i was in his way & he said to me "move, fat ass." i couldnt believe he just said something so mean to me like that. so i dropped wtvr i was hanging & i walked into the kitchen, picked up a magazine & just sat there looking through it. in about 3 minutes, he came out of my room, sat down on the floor in front of me & started asking me what was wrong, what happened, why'd i get so pissed. but i ignored him. then i told him, if he doesnt know, i cant help him. he then stood up, said, "im so sick & tired of this constant sh*t" & walked away, slamming the door.

a couple minutes later i came in & i asked how in the world he couldve said something so mean to me. he started yelling at me that thats his sense of humor, we've been together for a year already & i should know that by now. i said that idc, i dont consider jokes like that funny & he knows that very well. it became a huge fight.

i guess the backstory to this is, im the kind of person, that whenever somethings bothering me, i tend to keep it to myself, even when he would keep asking me about it. this pissed him off to no end. but when we got back together, he made me promise to tell him anything that bothered me. & i tried. but every single time, i'd tell him even the dumbest thing, & he'd get mad & yell at me, turning it into a fight. so i would just back down again. also, he's a paranoid schizophrenic, or was, when he was diagnosed at 17. so he has a very short fuse & constantly has this idea that im only with him to get back at him for breaking up with me the first time.

anyways, so during this fight 2 nights ago, idk when it happened, since he was packing his stuff to take to his house & do laundry, but all of a sudden, he started packing his bags, all his stuff, computer, alarm clock, deodorant. & he started saying how he lied when he told me he was happy. then 5min later he said he didnt lie. he was actually very happy but he cant stand it anymore how i never talk to him (even though i do! i try!). i tried to hug him, even hold his hand, he told me to get off him.

the strangest thing is, when we got back together & ever since, all he would do is tell me how im the love of his life, how hes an idiot for taking so long to realize it, how he sees the rest of his life with me, married, kids, everything. he told me he would spend the rest of his life apologizing to me for hurting me so bad the first time. & literally in about half an hr, he made a decision to leave. even when i told our mutual friends, they were shocked! we had hung out with them the night before & we were fine. our friends gf works with my bf & she was floored! she had seen him just a couple hrs ago at work & he was fine! but nobody was more shocked than i was. it hit me out of nowhere.

then he started yelling at me that no matter what he does, i always get mad at him for the smallest things. calling your gf fat ass isnt small!!

i would be sick, along with him & i'd be taking care of hi, making him tea, soup, wtvr he wanted. he'd just be there complaining about how sick he is. i'd make him food whenever he asked, i'd give him my car to take to work when he didnt have a ride. hell, he works all day! 8am-6pm! i'd be stuck at home! but hey, anything for the love of my life. & he'd just come home from work, turn on the tv & ignore me. of course that would bother me, regardless if you bought milk like i asked you to!

then he told me that he didnt realize until now that when we got back together, i 'told' him it'd be different. that i made a deal that i wouldnt get mad & would tell him everything. he told me hes done, nothing changed since the first time he broke up with me & that its over, he doesnt see us together with a family for the rest of our lives anymore.

 

& now, its almost been 48 hrs & all i do is cry. i cant sleep. sure as hell cant eat. i tried txtn him. i asked him if he got over me already. he once told me that its so easy for him to get over a relationship. he was taught to control his feelings by his psychiatrist. but when he broke up with me the first time, he never could get over me. he slept with other girls! he drank his life away! but nothing helped. he couldnt get me off his mind. but i forgave him for everything, i did. but i havent gotten a response. i wrote him a long fb msg basically telling him exactly how i felt. ik he read it. but nothing. but now, it just feels as dark as i used to feel 4months ago. i wake up in the morning with a feeling like someone is reaching into my chest & pulling something out, every single second. its so lonely without him, i hate my room, i just want to run away. whats more is, his best friend lives right next to my building...& borrows his car to go to work every single day. & every single car i hear in the street, my heart skips a beat & i keep hoping its him coming back to apologize.

thats not even the worst part. when it was about 1 month since we got back together, he enlisted in the army. i told him i'll support him, ill write to him, everything! everyone thought we'd break up, but i'd go to hell & back for this boy. he even talked about marrying me before he left, so that i could follow him to his bases. well, he leaves in april. & i feel like i'll never see him again. he's the love of my life. idk how to live without him. i can't just let him go.

 

please help me, give me some advice on how to get him back. ik he loves me. & i love him more than life itself. how can someone just cut another person out of their life when theyve been together for so long. & over something so stupid!!

what do i do? how to i get him back to me? or at least to talk to me, so we can talk it out??? please.

[SDA]

It's only been 2 days.

 

Leave him alone and take time for yourself.

 

In time you guys will talk again.

[exquisite]

when we got back together, he told me that im the only girl that has truly loved him for him, with all his faults. his paranoia causes him to constantly conjure up ideas on how im cheating on him. he once told me he hates calling me on his way home from work because he feels like when i find out he's on his way, im kicking out the guy i was just having sex with before he gets home. but i told him, i'll love him no matter what. i would never cheat on him or ever do anything to hurt him. after he'd accuse me, i'd tell him i love him, put his head on my chest & hug him. but i shut down when he yells at me for being bothered & he doesnt accept me.

[exquisite]

thats the thing. i dont have time. i have just 3 months before he ships out & i might never see him again. hes going to a war zone to unplug bombs. i cant. i just cant let it happen. ik ill regret it for the rest of my life.

[depplover_1980]

I'm sorry but I doubt he is the 'love of your life' from what I have read, it just feels that way now. He is probably someone you will learn from and how you want your future relationships to be like.

 

2 days is nothing and I would use the time wisely to read back over what you have written and decide if you really want that relationship back. Do you want someone who messes with your feelings so easily?

[exquisite]

I'm sorry but I doubt he is the 'love of your life' from what I have read, it just feels that way now. He is probably someone you will learn from and how you want your future relationships to be like.

 

2 days is nothing and I would use the time wisely to read back over what you have written and decide if you really want that relationship back. Do you want someone who messes with your feelings so easily?

 

sadly, yes. i do. im hopelessly in love with him.

[depplover_1980]

sadly, yes. i do. im hopelessly in love with him.

 

I've been there and I do understand. What do you love about him? Are you just not afraid of being alone?

[exquisite]

I've been there and I do understand. What do you love about him? Are you just not afraid of being alone?

 

i love the way he made me feel. safe, secure, happy. sure, we had our differences, but what couple doesnt. he made me laugh..whenever i was feeling down, he'd act like the biggest dork jsut to get a smile out of me. in reality, he was the only one that could make me truly happy in just a second. he was someone i could tell everything to. & the only person i'd want to go to sleep with at night & wake up to in the morning. when we first met, the chemistry between us was undeniable, everyone could see it. girls would hate me because while he would hook up with them & leave, i was the only one he was chasing, i was the only one he actually wanted to be with, the only one he actually wanted to work for, the only one who was actually worth it.

[depplover_1980]

So he gave you some self worth?

 

Now then, what would be the point in going through all of that experience without keeping the one genuinely important thing about it? If you cannot have him, you can certainly keep your self worth and that is one belonging you do not need to exchange or give back.

 

You are a fun, interesting, chaseable, hot thing that likes to laugh.