justin credible Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 i signed up to this site because i need some advice!! me and my girlfriend broke up 2 weeks ago because she said she wants to be with me but wants to see me more and it wont work out if we dont see more of each other but i have alot of time consuming hobbies and work full time so i just told her the truth that perhaps we should just call it a day because i have alot of things that im passioniate about that take up alot of my time and that was that we broke up. But now i cant stop thinking about her, it drives me crazy i liked her alot but i only just realising how much, im now wishing i made more effort and im itching to call her all the time and just beg for forgiveness.. which is crazy. the fact tht she hasnt contacted me or inniated any conversation just makes it worse.. should i call her and try and work things out or is this just typical post breakup behaavour? i was happy to go along with the breakup my feelings were pretty neutreul at the time.. but now its driving me crazy i get jelous thinking about her with other guys and shes always the first thing i think about when i wake up and the last thing when im trying to go to sleep, help please!!!!
suddendumpee Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Did you just bump your thread 2 minutes after your original post? Apparently you lack one of the things required to get through this. PATIENCE. Anyway, yes your reaction would be typical, and she will see right through it. You need to disappear for a while and really put some thought into this. You are going through basic withdraw and its normal to feel regret, and think about that person at the start middle and end of every day. Step back and the reasons you were OK to let it go so easily will become more clear. After 30-60 days NC, reevaluate, and if deemed appropriate, initiate contact with your ex to feel things out. If you don't give her time to miss you, you WILL push her further away and that's a fact.
spiderowl Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 It is normal to go through all this after a split. If you leave it and let your mind and body get used to not having her around, then eventually it will subside. It does sound like you were more interested in your hobbies than in spending time with her; that comes through strongly in your posting. If you did take a lot of time out of the relationship to do other things, then it seems to me you were treating her like a mother not a girlfriend. Mums stay in the kitchen doing things with food, you know they will be there for you when you come back, they sometimes go along to things with you to cheer you on, they hang around when you are doing these (to them) boring things, they don't expect much of you. Girlfriends are a bit different! They expect you to have got past this stage and to want to spend time them doing the things they want to do too. Unless you can make a real space in your life for a girlfriend, not just someone to service you in bed, then don't even think of trying to revive this relationship. Maybe you need to work through your priorities here. Relationships are give and take.
depplover_1980 Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 It sounds to me like this has made you realise she is important to you which is great. Perhaps her expectations of how much time you should spend with her were too high anyway and she may have realised this in the time apart. A good compromise could be made going forwards if so... I think she would hear you out if you got in touch as she wanted more time with you in the first place! She probably has stayed quiet because she thinks you aren't interested either!
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