ChaseYng2005 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 My ex-partner and I have issues, mainly about his infidelity, but we've always managed to get through them. This past Sunday he started punching me and we got into a fist fight because I got someone else's number at a club. I went NC for a few days. He emailed, text, and called me, but I responded on my own time. It was a Thursday and we semi-made up and started talking through things and speaking of the future. The next day we were talking back and forth through text message and he asked me what year we met. I responded and said in all of our years together, we've only had 6 months of bliss, thinking he was asking because our anniversary is soon, in February. He then makes statements along the lines that I concealed things of my past from him and brings up petty charges I got years before I knew him. I was so pissed that he ran a background check on me that I have not spoken to him and I've blocked him on all social mediums. He has text me several times saying he's sorry, and that the charges are really no big deal. He didn't mean to offend me, he's so sorry he even brought it up blah, blah, blah He even tried to lie and say that the only reason he did it was because he was afraid I had called the police on him for hitting me. And he didn't tell me that was a lie, but if he really was looking into that, he wouldn't have ran a background check on me, but he would have ran one on himself. But I just can't get over the disgust and weird feeling I have that he did that. Hence I called it off. Am I over-reacting?
ccnaboy2000 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 All I can really say is that is hella creepy. I mean what kinda guy does that? I mean granted if my ex was coming home with blood on her clothes on a regular basis and exhibited signs of narcissistic personality disorder, I may. But come on now, that's just not cool. And I'de leave his ass hanging and never go back. Especially if he's bringing up small charges from the distant past that aren't a big deal anymore.
Cee Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Am I missing something, but you said your boyfriend punched you? I'd be more upset about the violence than the background check. But now that you are away from him, I'd stay away.
suddendumpee Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I believe they are a gay couple. 2 men = fist fighting allowed. I've been in fist fights with my male friends before. It happens. Testosterone vs. testosterone. I'm not condoning it, but it IS a little different that a dude punching a girl in the face.
Jonno_S Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I don't really have a problem with that, we're in the age of information so this can be done so easily. To me it's no big deal. What is a big deal is that he is using that as a smokescreen, or pretext, to be angry at you - he's creating a problem by accusing you of hiding something. But what's a bigger deal is your tolerance for abuse and lack of self respect. Is being alone so horrible that you'd rather put up with it?
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 You guys are all right. Yeah fist fights sometimes happen, but not all the time or even every blue moon. You just shrug it off and move on lol But what Jonno said really hit home. I shouldn't fear being alone, and I shouldn't let such fears trap me into an abusive and dead end relationship. It's just hard when people feel right for each other, but in reality, they are both so wrong.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Sorry, but it doesn't matter whether you're gay, straight or asexual, fistfighting or any kind of physical contact not pertaining to sex kind of leans towards abuse doesn't it? The fighting, the lack of trust, the background check.... yep this relationship went way past it's prime.
Jonno_S Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Sorry, but it doesn't matter whether you're gay, straight or asexual, fistfighting or any kind of physical contact not pertaining to sex kind of leans towards abuse doesn't it? Don't know if I agree with that. Sometimes guys just have to beat the crap out of each other to communicate. But it has to be mutual. The fighting, the lack of trust, the background check.... yep this relationship went way past it's prime. Maybe...but there may be hope.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Don't know if I agree with that. Sometimes guys just have to beat the crap out of each other to communicate. But it has to be mutual. I'm a girl, I communicate by talking.
Jonno_S Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I'm a girl, I communicate by talking. I know, I checked before I posted that We guys can be knuckleheads plain and simple.
spiderowl Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 It all just sounds a mess and you've both got problems with your past and now with trusting each other. If you can't trust your partner, then leave them. Googling someone you have just met or are about to meet is acceptable because it's curiosity, but doing a background check is altogether more serious. He doesn't trust you and you don't trust him. Why bother any more?
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