vtbrokenhearted Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 What am I doing wrong? Please help me... He cheated over the time we planned our wedding, got married, and were trying to conceive, and then he left me and our newly bought home. Four months has passed. Yes, I was incredibly hurt and angry, but the anger didn't last very long. For the past two months I've been feeling more positive and have been trying to get him to come to some agreement with me on how we split our stuff and how we go about selling the house. He finally came over last Sunday and it seemed to me by the time he left, that we were going to be able to move through this without a court hearing. My family was surprised but relieved. I was wrong. He talked to his parents and his attorney, who is being paid by his parents, and he emailed back to tell me that he's going to get raked over the coals. He's fighting about nothing, and at the same time he's sucking the life out of me. It's literally making me feel tired every time I think about it. He sent me the following email yesterday: I am not trying to stall I am just trying to make sound wise decisions. Wise f***ing decisions? What is his problem? Then he emails to tell me that he's gotten a second job to help with the bills which he can't quite help pay every month. Does he think I care?! What should I be doing? Is it worth it for me to just go back to NC and just let things play out? I thought if he could actually sit down and come to grips with the reality of what he's created, he could come to some agreement. Am I just plain stupid? Maybe I should be asking, what the f**k is wrong with me! I know I keep trying to trust him, but...
Jdw_Icequeen Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I was in your shoes a few years ago.. We didn't buy a house together though. We had children and I was just trying to get him to go along with the divorce. He kept telling me he was going to get an attorny and sort everything out. He left me for someone else and had cheated a few times which in my stupidity I decided to forgive. I ended up doing NC with him but let him call to talk to the kids. I then took everything into my own hands and started the divorce process. He wouldn't even give me his mailing address because he didn't want to pay child support. Finally when the divorce was about 3 months away from being solved he gives me his address and he starts being overly nice. Also says for me to stop the divorce??? Yea dealing with divorce and everything is tough. I am glad you didn't end up having kids in the mix because it makes everything harder. I would advise to go NC and get an attorny. If you can't afford one alot of states have places where you can get a volunteer attorny at no cost to you.. I absolutly refused the thought of ever reconciling when he tried to crawl back into my life. Now that everything is over I am totally releived to be done with things. Its alot of work but once your done with the process you will be proud that you did what you had to do. If everything is left up to Mr. Wise decisions, you will probably end up putting up with this much longer then need be..
Author vtbrokenhearted Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 I did get an attorney after he ran out and didn't connect with me for about a month. I've filed for an annulment under fraudulent terms and he won't accept it because it could hurt him later on. Does it just make sense to go the divorce route and stop trying to get the annulment? Him and his lawyer seem to be controlling everything right now. I wish it hadn't come to this (not being able to compromise), and that's why I've been trying so hard to just get him to talk. Thank you for the advice.
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