irc333 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Okay, I made a post about people trying to get over an ex, but yet posting an ad on a dating site. Well, I had been corresponding with this woman for a week (I think I might have mentioned her in the prevoius post) She's single, never married, no children and does not want children, and she's over 40. And lives in a rather small hicktown known for its rednecks, elderly, and all the single people ther are taken or married. Believe it or not, something about small towns that keep people married, probably because if they divorced, they're afraid they might not find someone? LOL I could be wrong there. Anyhow, after a week of emailing back and forth with a woman in said town. I mentioned something about meeting up. After a few days, I finally heard from her and she said, "I was thinking, I'm still trying to get over my ex, and well, I decided to hide my profile". She said if circumstances were different, she'd date me in a heartbeat. She said her friends told her it would be no big deal to even go out with people from the dating site, even as friends, but she said even "as friends" it still wouldn't be fair. She told me that I'm the only guy she's been talking to online and that I'm the only genuine guy she's met online. I decided to stay in touch with her regardless, and she was okay with that and told me I'm the only guy she's been emailing with from online. Even friended each other on FB. Well, another week goes by, and I asked her if she'd be willing to join me in a group get together among some friends that I know. She agreed to it actually, but said she won't be available till Feb (which is a couple of weeks) and she asked what I was considering. So, I have an idea of what to do already, so I sent that to her. Now...I'm not sure if I've been FZ'd or not, but at least this gives me an opportunity to meet her, and just not be an online pen-pal. Apparently her Ex was friends first for a while with her before they dated. So I figured it was her "M.O." I'm wondering what are my chances? I was kind of suprised she agreed to meet with me.
Imajerk17 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 My answer? Get other prospects. Move if you have to. There's just too many hoops to jump through here and if she is the only girl you're talking to, then you're in trouble. Who knows if she is not in the right headspace to be dating/is talking to too many other guys online and doesn't have time to meet (no matter what she told you)/isn't that interested because your 'game' wasn't that tight. There are a lot of women online with baggage, just as there are a lot of great gals too, so caveat emptor.
Imajerk17 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Think about it: You're going through the trouble of planning a group get-together, for a girl who might want to be your friend. Extra work for less reward. Bad deal. Will she at least bring some single female friends of her own?
iJester Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Meet up with her and hang out, but don't invest anything emotionally in her and don't feed her attention. That means, you call her to see if she wants to hang out, and let her initiate any contact thereafter. Continue talking to other women, even if she claims you were the only one she was talking to(you have zero obligation to her, and need to keep that in mind). It should be easier to be yourself since you won't be under the pressure of a date and feel the need to impress her. Maybe she'll realize that you're a lot of fun and she is interested in you romantically, maybe not. I suggest you don't hang out with her more than once or twice unless she starts to really initiate contact and initiating more meet ups.
Author irc333 Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 I'm not planning it. It's a group that's planned by someone else, so not much work. I'm going anyways, I'm just inviting her along. Think about it: You're going through the trouble of planning a group get-together, for a girl who might want to be your friend. Extra work for less reward. Bad deal. Will she at least bring some single female friends of her own?
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