Lucky555 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Is it a red flag if you see you bf or gf only a week or week and half later? Been seeing my guy for almost two months. I feel like we don't see eachother enough. I'm also not sure now where this is going because of the lack of seeing each other I just feel distanced. I would think that people in love want to see each other even if it's just for dinner or lunch. It just seems odd to me because in the past my bfs have always wanted to get together at least two to three days a week that's how the bond stays I feel
xpaperxcutx Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 What's his reason for only being able to take to see you once a week? My girlfriend only gets to see her bf once a week too but the bf owns his personal business and therefore have a larger workload than most people. If you feel uncomfortable about things right now, you should really tell him about how you feel and whether you guys can work on getting together more. There is a point where if he doesn't assert himself more to see you, or if he decides to brush you off, you may have need to step away from this relationship and find someone more willing to give his time.
OceanGirl Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I currently see my bf 3x a week and he works 2 jobs at 16 hours per day (he has weekends free). We also live 85kms apart. So really, there is no excuse.
zengirl Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 If it's not enough contact for you, I think it's fine to have a discussion about it. Everybody has different needs. With my BF, it really varies. We spend at least one full weekend a month together, which is usually 2-3 nights + both full days. But this week I only saw him once. Next week, we have a few events planned, so I'll see a lot of him. If we don't have plans, we talk on the phone/text every other day or so. So, we stay in contact, of course. For me, only once a week EVERY week, well, it wouldn't be enough. However, I do think the reason is important, as is how you feel about it. I wouldn't call it a "red flag," but I would say it's something you need to think about and address, if it's making you unhappy. Again, reasons are key. If he has several nights a week to hang out with his buddies, play computer games, or some-such, but only one night a week for you. . . well, that might be a red flag.
Author Lucky555 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Posted January 23, 2011 i agree with you all. I find it hard to stay connected to this guy when i only seem him once every week and half or in two weeks!!! seriously!!! I find it hard to find him desirable because i have my walls up because he is not available. NEVER had even a whole weekend together! I feel like it is time for a talk. I dont see how i can even stay involved. it will hurt but i can't continue hurting myself here. I have been pacing myself and trying to keep considerate but i know he does have more time he just doesn't have me as a priority and to me that hurts. I was supposed to see him tomorrow but i dont even want to because I dont feel like i can be a loving gf since im sooo disconnected to him because of lack of intimacy and relationship. He isn't contacting me lately and its like hes is playing a game and i already told him i dont do this. I have been feeling like opting out of this relationship for a little while because i its sad that i get more satisfaction and happiness from CHOCOLATE than i do from his conversations and sex everytime we are together...which just seems like its not enough to keep a connection and relationship together. 2 months is long enough for him to know. Thanks everyone i just need to talk to him and be prepared for what ever he says. I appreciate the input. Its just so sad that i think it will be over because i have dated him before but never took it to the next level until now and the same thing is happening he distances himself and i leave. This time for good if its not going to work.
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