april315 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 So when I was 15 I dated this guy for about a year. Although we were so young, we were as serious about each other as we could be at that age. We had a really rough break up--he dumped me kind of out of the blue during his parent's divorce and we really never talked about it, but immediately afterwards he under went some serious changes. He became very hostile towards everyone, lost a lot of his friends and asked to be put in therapy (a big step for a very unemotional guy). I still have absolutely no idea what happened to him but he was going through something really difficult--needless to say, the break-up was extremely messy and painful. We did not remain friends and disliked each other (I was really covering for not being over him; I have no idea how he felt about me). We have many mutual friends, and while we really didnt talk for two and a half years, we would always end up at the same parties together and sometime last year we were able to actually talk and joke around like friends with out it being weird. Its been four years since we broke up. A few weeks ago we were at a small party at a friend's house drinking. He spent the entire night talking to me about college, his friends, his family... pretty much everything. It was just us alone in a room talking, even when I left to use the bathroom he waited for me and did not rejoin the group. He even made a point to ask about my family and say that he remembered my birthday still... personal things like that. Somewhere around 4:30AM I realized I was going to end up sleeping over. We were still talking and ended up being the last ones awake. At this point he was pretty sober and I was still a little drunk. He moved so he was sitting really close to me on the couch, so I put my head on his shoulder and he put his arms around me and held me. Then he suddenly just kissed me. We ended up hooking up. We really didn't do much besides make out and afterwards we slept together on the couch and he held me the whole night. The morning after was totally normal. That was the last party before we all went back to separate colleges so I don't know if he would have made an effort to avoid me. Since then, we have only spoken to each other once through texting (which isn't unusual because we wouldn't normally contact each other anyway) and we did not talk about the hook up. We talked about a lot of random stuff we wouldn't normally discuss, like how he's doing in school, and he instigated a lot of the conversation. He hasn't made an effort to contact me but I know I will be seeing him in about a month. I am extremely confused about how he feels. I know it could have been just a hook up, but that really isnt the sort of thing he normally does with girls and I just can't believe that after our history, he just didn't think about it at all. I should also mention that I have had a weird feeling that he has been kind of hitting on me since the summer, but this was the first time we have had an opportunity to be alone. Can anyone offer me some insight on what he might be thinking? And what should I do?? Thanks so much for your help in advance...
gator12 Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Hey April welcome to the site. This is actually a pretty easy answer. It all depends on what you want. If you are interested in maybe seeing this go farther then just talk to him about what happened and ask him his thoughts on the night. He could have remebered your relationship you guys had, especially if you were each other's first loves and when you guys broke up it could've been because he was young and scared. (I've been there) and because of what he was going to at home at the time. My point is, if you think that maybe this might go somewhere, then just go for it, and talk to him. What's life without a little bit of risk?
Author april315 Posted January 23, 2011 Author Posted January 23, 2011 thanks gator and thanks for the welcome That is definitely the simplest and most direct solution, although it would take a lot of courage! I will think about what you said... We were each other's first loves, I was even his first kiss and we took each other's virginity. Our relationship was intense for our age... what you say about him being scared may be true.
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