focus2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 So here goes.......I've posted here before about a very short relationship (about 6 months) about three years ago. The man I was involved with ended the relationship to return to an ex. It was hard for me at that time, but I did not fight the breakup because I knew there was no point, but the feelings I felt for this man were real and deep. We see each other frequently because of work. We've maintained an awkward existance around each other since the split. A pleasant "hello" every now and then and thats about all. Several months back his behavior changed and he began to talk to me and seek me out for conversation. He's very friendly and the interactions are pleasant......for him. Not so much for me. See I put on this happy face and laugh and joke with him but inside it feels like a stabbing knife in my stomach. He's requested to be my friend on Facebook. He makes a point to stop in and talk to me everyday. He pulls me into conversations when I'm across the room talking with someone else. Three years of almost no conversation, no indication that i'm even relevant in his world and now we're friends? Now I know what will be said. "He's over you and believes you're over him so he wants to be friends" or "3 years and you're still not over this" and so on. And believe me I get that. I tell myself the same things everyday. But NO, I'm not over it. I was over it when we werent "friendly". I was over it when I didn't feel like he was invading every aspect of my life. Now I've got all of these feelings back and overwhelming me with no outlet for expression. I feel like I'm stuck on a hamster wheel having to put on this pokerface every day. So what do I do? Say "hey stop being friendly to me because you broke my heart and I never got over it?" I would feel like an idiot. So how do I put these feelings into check? How do I accept this friendship without loosing myself in the process? Whew.....needed to get that out. Thanks.
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