MissVegas Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 So my boyfriend of 4.5 years and I broke up. We were doing really well but he's been not so nice to me in the past and I always forgive him and try to work things out. In the past 4.5 years he has been constantly clubbing, ditching me to go clubbing, putting his friends before me, flirted with different girls, called me names... Anyways.. This time he was being really sweet we had a fantastic xmas and I got him the tv he was dying for. He was spending lots of time with me, my family, calling me, spending time with my friends texting me all the time I thought things were going to be okay. Until NYE when he decided to ditch me to spend NYE drunk shirtless in the club, pissing on the dance floor *facebook videos posted* *which his friends this is soooo funny* while I sat at home alone after my first shift as a new nurse. I had asked him to spend it with me even though I worked till 11 because my friends would be out of town and he agreed. Then the day before he basically said no way and not to be a bitch about it because he was going anyways and there was nothing I could do about it. I stood infront of him crying and he didn't even care. I told him we're not going to be together then if he can't support me and be there for me and can't sacrificed anything for me. Any other time it would be fine if he went with his friends but i asked him to be there for me and spend it with me. Who doesn't want to kiss the one they love on NYE? I left my jewelry he had got me at his place because I said I can't wear it because it hurts me to wear it knowing the guy who got it for me basically doesn't give a crap... Anyways I ended up calling him a douchelord in a text i sent him on new years day when he asked if I was ignoring him. Not mature. Rude and totally not my style. So I apolgized for that. Then I didn't hear from him other than texts about how much he loves his nephews and random crap like that. I told him not to pretend everything is okay when he hurts me like that and it wouldn't just blow over this time without him taking responsibility for his actions. Ditching me is one thing but how do i trust some guy shirtless in the club and peeing on the dance floor? Then he just deletes ME and all my friends from his facebook Monday after not apologizing or saying anything... I asked him why he would do that. After 4.5 years you just throw it away and not care? Like I was close with his family and everything I'd never delete all his friends and stuff. He sent me a text back and turned the whole situation around and said "im the one who is hurt and confused, you said some really harsh things that can't be taken back, you are my best friend and i love you so much but you think im crap, i dont even know what to say to the hurtful things you said, thats why i deleted you, it really hurts that you think thosr things of me, i think you need to think about what you really want in life and if im good enough then act like it, I didn't do anything wrong and cant change everything about me, i dont have anymore left to give, having lots of problems at work, life isnt great and you made it clear you don't care about me and think i'm a douche bag." WTF is this? I called him a douchelord in a text thats the only time i've ever called him anything bad and I apologized he's called me bitch, psychotic bitch like 10x atleast. Other than that all I said was he needed to take responsibility for his actions and how he treats people who love him? He has done this many times before where he won't apologize or admit his faults and then turns it around on me? What is this guys??? I have never ditched him, i'm always there for him, i treat him like a king, his family loves me, im always the one that gets presents etc treats for his family, always treat him to special things, always invite him out with me, always support him, never said no to sex, always told him how sexy i thought he was.. I'm totally willing to take responsibility for my faults and everything and I know calling him the D word was a BIG NO NO so I apologized. I was willing to consider counselling for us and work on whatever I'm doing wrong but I'm growing stronger everyday and I think this is the end end..But my question is.. why is he turning it around like this? Why does he always turn it around like this? And make me feel like it's my fault? We had no problems prior to this? I treated him like a king for his birthday and xmas and my family did as well.
mo mo Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 you already made a thread about this. We told you what to do. Just move on, don't try to make sense of the situation, and last but not least, do NOT blame yourself for any of this.
refurb Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Why would a guy do this? Because the girl isn't that important to him. Seriously. Move on! RF
edgeofdarkness Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 loads of double threads wich arent allowed i think, but hey u got double the advice, go back and read, and follow. best thing u cd do.
Negative Nancy Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 that text sounds like he was trying to alleviate the guilt / put the blame on you. make it sound like the dumpee is the one who is at fault and living with what you did to them is a lot easier. good riddance.
carhill Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Oh, I responded in one of the those other threads. Thought I had an aneurysm or something Anyway, looks like things are sorted. Time to heal. NC and erase him.
paddington bear Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 He's just turning it around to make you the bad one. Not nice after 4.5 years. Not nice to leave you alone on NYE when you've been a couple for so long. ""im the one who is hurt and confused, you said some really harsh things that can't be taken back, you are my best friend and i love you so much but you think im crap, i dont even know what to say to the hurtful things you said, thats why i deleted you, it really hurts that you think thosr things of me, i think you need to think about what you really want in life and if im good enough then act like it, I didn't do anything wrong and cant change everything about me, i dont have anymore left to give, having lots of problems at work, life isnt great and you made it clear you don't care about me and think i'm a douche bag." You left me on my own on NYE after promising you would spend it with me I loved you too, but you didn't love me enough to spend time with me to celebrate the beginning of a new year After a four and a half year relationship you deleted me and all my friends from facebook, this shows a level of immaturity that is beyond belief. I also think you were obviously looking for an excuse to break up, and now you have it. This is incredibly cowardly on your part. You could have at least had the decency to tell me it was over, rather than treating me badly in the hope I would do your dirty work for you, and dump you instead. I wrote one hurtful thing to you and you act like this. In contrast, you leave me on my own on NYE and expect me to be happy about that with no retribution. I was hurt and angry. That is normal and to be expected. Yes, you did do something wrong, you took someone who genuinely cared for you for granted, thought you could do and say whatever you wanted without consequences. Well there are consequences. Then go NC
Nexus One Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Until NYE when he decided to ditch me to spend NYE drunk shirtless in the club, pissing on the dance floor *facebook videos posted* Sounds like a douchebag alright. Why women fall in love with these type of guys, I don't know. Not all guys are like this though.
paddington bear Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Sounds like a douchebag alright. Why women fall in love with these type of guys, I don't know. Not all guys are like this though. agreed. And can I add, as a self-confessed doormat at times. If you are nice, and understanding people take advantage of you, both male and female, co-workers, bosses, whoever. Then they push it too far you finally, FINALLY you get mad. But too late. Your personal boundaries as to what behaviour you would tolerate should have been in place way earlier, or they wouldn't have dared think that they could behave in that way and get away with it. This, at least, has been part of my problem. I think maybe yours too. Being too accommodating and understanding of undesirable behavior. (I'm not trying to make this your fault...just for future reference, know your boundaries from the offset and you will avoid all this nonsense 4 and a half years later)
love_xs Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 when people turn stuff around like that its thier way of saying were through. For him to call you a b** so many time and you call him a douche ONCE! are you kidding? hes so spoilt and walked all over you you dont deserve that 4.5 years is alot but not when its 4.5 years of being a slave.
oaks Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Anyways I ended up calling him a douchelord That's good. So, he's gone. What's the problem?
Questionis Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Now you can move on, miss him a bit then marvel at how amazing guys will treat you and wonder why you put up with his crap for so long.
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