MissVegas Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 So my boyfriend of 4.5 years and I broke up. We were doing really well but he's been not so nice to me in the past and I always forgive him and try to work things out. In the past 4.5 years he has been constantly clubbing, ditching me to go clubbing, putting his friends before me, flirted with different girls, called me names... Anyways.. This time he was being really sweet we had a fantastic xmas and I got him the tv he was dying for. He was spending lots of time with me, my family, calling me, spending time with my friends texting me all the time I thought things were going to be okay. Until NYE when he decided to ditch me to spend NYE drunk shirtless in the club, pissing on the dance floor *facebook videos posted* *which his friends this is soooo funny* while I sat at home alone after my first shift as a new nurse. I had asked him to spend it with me even though I worked till 11 because my friends would be out of town and he agreed. Then the day before he basically said no way and not to be a bitch about it because he was going anyways and there was nothing I could do about it. I stood infront of him crying and he didn't even care. I told him we're not going to be together then if he can't support me and be there for me and can't sacrificed anything for me. Any other time it would be fine if he went with his friends but i asked him to be there for me and spend it with me. Who doesn't want to kiss the one they love on NYE? I left my jewelry he had got me at his place because I said I can't wear it because it hurts me to wear it knowing the guy who got it for me basically doesn't give a crap... Anyways I ended up calling him a douchelord in a text i sent him on new years day when he asked if I was ignoring him. Not mature. Rude and totally not my style. So I apolgized for that. Then I didn't hear from him other than texts about how much he loves his nephews and random crap like that. I told him not to pretend everything is okay when he hurts me like that and it wouldn't just blow over this time without him taking responsibility for his actions. Ditching me is one thing but how do i trust some guy shirtless in the club and peeing on the dance floor? Then he just deletes ME and all my friends from his facebook Monday after not apologizing or saying anything... I asked him why he would do that. After 4.5 years you just throw it away and not care? Like I was close with his family and everything I'd never delete all his friends and stuff. He sent me a text back and turned the whole situation around and said "im the one who is hurt and confused, you said some really harsh things that can't be taken back, you are my best friend and i love you so much but you think im crap, i dont even know what to say to the hurtful things you said, thats why i deleted you, it really hurts that you think thosr things of me, i think you need to think about what you really want in life and if im good enough then act like it, I didn't do anything wrong and cant change everything about me, i dont have anymore left to give, having lots of problems at work, life isnt great and you made it clear you don't care about me and think i'm a douche bag." WTF is this? I called him a douchelord in a text thats the only time i've ever called him anything bad and I apologized he's called me bitch, psychotic bitch like 10x atleast. Other than that all I said was he needed to take responsibility for his actions and how he treats people who love him? He has done this many times before where he won't apologize or admit his faults and then turns it around on me? What is this guys??? I have never ditched him, i'm always there for him, i treat him like a king, his family loves me, im always the one that gets presents etc treats for his family, always treat him to special things, always invite him out with me, always support him, never said no to sex, always told him how sexy i thought he was.. I'm totally willing to take responsibility for my faults and everything and I know calling him the D word was a BIG NO NO so I apologized. I was willing to consider counselling for us and work on whatever I'm doing wrong but I'm growing stronger everyday and I think this is the end end..But my question is.. why is he turning it around like this? Why does he always turn it around like this? And make me feel like it's my fault? We had no problems prior to this? I treated him like a king for his birthday and xmas and my family did as well.
carhill Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Hmm... A small suggestion. If having relationship issues, sort them out face to face rather than through texts or on facebook. It really helps. Ask for that next time. Don't let someone hide behind a keypad. On the surface it sounds like a pre-emptive dump to me. Perhaps other LS'ers will have more insight. My sympathies.....
D78 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Okay - I gotta ask... This guy sounds like a terrible partner. Why are you not happy that you don't have to play his games anymore? Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but he acts like a child. He doesn't acknowledge your feelings when he hurts you. He can't take responsibility for his actions by admitting he might have been wrong. He turns it around and blames you. And, he pees in inappropriate places. Your first shift as a nurse, and NYE, and he chooses peeing on the dance floor... It's not just guys that act like him. Some people cannot say sorry. I don't know what it is about them that makes it impossible to apologize and admit that they are not perfect. Instead, they point fingers at others. It sounds like you have talked to him, and he isn't going to change. There are people out there that don't act like that. You might be better off finding one of them... Good luck.
Jonno_S Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Okay - I gotta ask... This guy sounds like a terrible partner. Why are you not happy that you don't have to play his games anymore? Sorry if that sounds insensitive, but he acts like a child. He doesn't acknowledge your feelings when he hurts you. He can't take responsibility for his actions by admitting he might have been wrong. He turns it around and blames you. And, he pees in inappropriate places. Your first shift as a nurse, and NYE, and he chooses peeing on the dance floor... It's not just guys that act like him. Some people cannot say sorry. I don't know what it is about them that makes it impossible to apologize and admit that they are not perfect. Instead, they point fingers at others. It sounds like you have talked to him, and he isn't going to change. There are people out there that don't act like that. You might be better off finding one of them... Good luck. Totally agree. Why would a decent person such as yourself even talk to a guy who isn't housebroken? Have some standards, woman.
Billy_Boy Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 He sounds like an A-hole. a selfish, self centered one at that. How old is he?
Sugarkane Posted February 7, 2011 Posted February 7, 2011 This guy also sounds like my ex. Selfish, arrogant, immature and blames everything on you, nothing is his fault, never says he's sorry. I think you should leave him peeing on the dancefloor!
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