smashalasha Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Some background: Our breakup was mainly due to long distance, I agreed with his decision to breakup but it still wasn’t what I wanted, told him I didn’t want to let him go or give him up. He wanted to remain friends and he also seemed to keep the door open by not saying no to the possibility of reconnecting after grad school; he was actually the first to mention possibly reconnecting if it didn’t work out long distance (he mentioned it months before the breakup happened, the last day we were together in person), and when he broke up with me he also said he missed me and his feelings hadn’t changed, although, at the same time, he seemed open to both of us dating others eventually. So it was open-ended. We’ve talked only online since the breakup; no phonecalls; just chatting online, short friendly convos about nothing serious, about once a week, equally initiating. 10 days ago was the last time I initiated contact with him. The day after that, he texted me to say a TV show I like is on Netflix, I texted back a little later to say nice, I’ve been looking for something else to watch (which was true lol). Last Sunday, I decided to make some changes: a break from online chatting, a break from TV for a while, join a church, join a singles group there, meet new people, make new friends, and start focusing on hobbies I have neglected. So, with my self-imposed temporary break from online chatting and TV, I haven’t signed into xbox live all week. My ex is on xbox live almost every night, as I used to be, so we are used to seeing each other on there. So anyway. The beginning of this week, he shared a link on my fb wall of a video he knew I’d like. So a day after he posted it, I just liked it on fb and left it at that. Normally, I may have gotten online to see if he wanted to chat, but I didn't. Then today he wrote an inside joke on my wall, one we’ve had for over a year. Nothing else, just the joke. Haven't responded yet, dunno if I will. My question is, what does it mean for an ex, the dumper, to keep popping up like this? I feel like our roles have reversed a little, you know what I mean? Instead of me being the one sharing links he might like, or inside jokes, he’s doing it to me. Also, a friend reminded me that a text or a facebook post isn’t actually TALKING. So he’s not actually wanting to TALK by contacting me on fb, if he wanted to TALK he’d call me and have a real conversation. Right? So then what's he doing? Is it ‘cause I 'disappeared' from xbox live and online chatting? I figured people on here would have more insight into the most probable explanations.
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