Patrice Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I was divorced last March after leaving my husband of 26 years the March before that. I believe that I formed an emotional attachment to a MM at that time. We are still in contact and never consummated the relationship. I have been involved in 2 relationships since the divorce .... one with a man 9 years younger and another who is a childhood friend who lives overseas. The man from overseas (lives in the middle east) wanted to get married. We are extremely sexually compatible, travelled to Europe over the summer and he has been over to be with me at least 4 times since the summer. I had several red flags about this man ... he wanted me to quit my job (which is a good one, that I got a higher degree to attain) and just move with him. I was hesitant to do so, as my family is here and my job. At Christmas, I was at work, he was at my home and started snooping through my things ... found one marijuana cigarette given to me by a friend over a year ago (don't smoke pot). He accused me of having illegal drugs in my home, doing drugs with my boys (who are 23 and 22 - and Ivy League graduates). I told him I would never do that, I didn't like him looking through my things and assuming the worst about me. He started calling me a bitch et al. and I told him he needed to leave. He ended up pushing me .... at that point, he left. I flew to see my daughter (26) who lives in Portland Oregon for the week - knowing he was still in the country. I should also note that he gave me a diamond ring and was pressuring me on setting a wedding date. When I got home, he showed up and said it would never happen again, he was sorry ... yada, yada .. and he went back to his job overseas. Two weeks ago, he informed me he has lost his job and then a couple of days later arrived on my doorstep. Things were fine, I thought okay .. new lease, new plans, a promise to not snoop and invade my privacy. He had access to my home for two days while I was at work. I did not agree to marry the man. He either hacked into my facebook account or found the password and changed my status to "in a relationship" without my permission. I get a myriad of e-mails of shock .. some from my fellow colleagues - who knew about him and thus began to speculate about my leaving my job. I had an e-mail confrontation with him from work ... there is no one who could possibly know my password, had access to my computer anywhere else. I got home and told him I couldn't do this and he needed to leave. He called me psychotic and I drove him to the airport, tried to give him back the ring (and he refused). He has been gone for about 24 hours. The MM has said he will transfer to my area next fall and plans to divorce the wife - don't think I'm interested any more. The younger than me guy is asking me out ... My question ... why can I not commit? I'm guessing that these three are all wrong for me .. and I need to continue on the healing journey, get out and meet someone who is right for me. I find that I always, always attract alpha male types ... I don't know why. I know I'm rambling and feeling confused ... any advice is welcome or any question. Thanks!
Recommended Posts