MarlyStar Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) The background is on my other thread, but the jist is: A guy I work with keeps asking me out for a drink or saying he'd give me a call, but never actually can follow thru, and earlier this month when he asked yet again, I said, "Sure, pick a date." and he said he needed my phone number and would call to set something up. He didn't, and on Monday and again on Tuesday of this week he mentioned he'd call after he got back from his Wednesday trip--which of course isn't going to happen. Before he left for DC I'd sent a short email in response to his email about that item in his personnel records, and at the end I said I hope he had a nice time in DC. I got this email back today--I have no idea what it means. "[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]DC was sad at the cemetery and much better in the night as the day progressed! If you read he other pages you wouldn’t believe it. Have agreat weekend!"[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Ok, the cemetery was probably Arlington and the other pages were reference to another part of his personnel file. But WTF does the rest of it mean?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]And you know, he said he'd call, and I'm annoyed. Really annoyed. Why not just pick up the phone and 'execute' a time and date for a drink as he suggested maybe even in response to the nice little personal favor I did him (which was actually not much of a big deal), but still...[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Instead this cryptic nonsense. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I have decided to interact one last time and then cut him off. No more emails, take a different elevator, not go to the cafeteria, and if he needs to interact with my company, hand him off to a colleague, let her finish off that personnel file matter (she said she would). [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It's not supposed to be this frustrating or nonsensical.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I'm sure he's not doing anything on purpose and is clueless as to the effect his words are having on me, and I'm sure it's my fault, but... still the result is I feel bad. And it's my job to arrange my life to reduce those things that make me feel bad.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]So these are my questions for you all:[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]1. WTH does that email mean '...much better in the night as the day progressed...'?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I just want to know. I don't care what it means, I just want to know. Any opinions you have on what this might mean would be appreciated.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Also, the only reason I'm going to see him one more time is to ask him WTF is he doing? Well, I'll be nicer than that (I'm considerably exasperated right now). I'm always low key, friendly, polite and tactful (in person), so I promise I'll be nice. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]2. How should I ask him why he keeps mentioning calling or going out? [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It's the only reason I am going to see him again is to answer this because I want to know. I figure one of three scenarios is going to happen, so how do you all suggest I bring it up per scenario:[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]If he says something about going out again (which I doubt he will), I'm going to say, [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]"Sure, what do you have in mind? I ask because you mention this in about half your emails and just about everytime you see me--and yet nothing seems to happen. I think I would have enjoyed going out for an hour or so, but my feelings are hurt that there's no follow thru, and in fact it has made me not even want to do lunch any more. Which is too bad, but... Can you explain what you are thinking?"[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Maybe that's too wordy. Help me with it.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Second scenario is he will say he will give me a call. I'm thinking of just saying the above to that as well.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]The third scenario is he doesn't do either and I have to bring it up. How? [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Over the weekend I will consider just cutting him off and just never knowing, but I really would like to know. My feelings are hurt and I feel a bit mindfcked. And he did it and I really don't think he realizes he did it. But it's not going to kill him to be faced with it politely and it can't make me feel any worse.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]And it's too bad. We could have had a pleasant little 'lunch' relationship or possibly we could have had something that evolved into a real friendship or maybe even begun to date. But the ambiguity has spoiled it.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]So ideas of how to do do this?[/sIZE][/FONT] Edited January 21, 2011 by MarlyStar
phillyfan Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 DUDE this guy is a waste of space. Forget about him. And that weird email about the cemetery? He got u mixed up with anotha girl. The dude has no class is flaky and cant keep track of what conversations hes havin with who. Dont ask for nothin, just avoid him.
mo mo Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I can't really read your post because of all the coding, but I'll just go ahead and assume he is playing games with you so that he can get what he wants from you the day you guys actually hang out.
paddington bear Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 The background is on my other thread, but the jist is: A guy I work with keeps asking me out for a drink or saying he'd give me a call, but never actually can follow thru, and earlier this month when he asked yet again, I said, "Sure, pick a date." and he said he needed my phone number and would call to set something up. He didn't, and on Monday and again on Tuesday of this week he mentioned he'd call after he got back from his Wednesday trip--which of course isn't going to happen. Before he left for DC I'd sent a short email in response to his email about that item in his personnel records, and at the end I said I hope he had a nice time in DC. I got this email back today--I have no idea what it means. DC was sad at the cemetery and much better in the night as the day progressed! If you read he other pages you wouldn’t believe it. Have agreat weekend!" Ok, the cemetery was probably Arlington and the other pages were reference to another part of his personnel file. But WTF does the rest of it mean? And you know, he said he'd call, and I'm annoyed. Really annoyed. Why not just pick up the phone and 'execute' a time and date for a drink as he suggested maybe even in response to the nice little personal favor I did him (which was actually not much of a big deal), but still... Instead this cryptic nonsense. ]I have decided to interact one last time and then cut him off. No more emails, take a different elevator, not go to the cafeteria, and if he needs to interact with my company, hand him off to a colleague, let her finish off that personnel file matter (she said she would). It's not supposed to be this frustrating or nonsensical. I'm sure he's not doing anything on purpose and is clueless as to the effect his words are having on me, and I'm sure it's my fault, but... still the result is I feel bad. And it's my job to arrange my life to reduce those things that make me feel bad. So these are my questions for you all: WTH does that email mean '...much better in the night as the day progressed...'? I just want to know. I don't care what it means, I just want to know. Any opinions you have on what this might mean would be appreciated. Also, the only reason I'm going to see him one more time is to ask him WTF is he doing? Well, I'll be nicer than that (I'm considerably exasperated right now). I'm always low key, friendly, polite and tactful (in person), so I promise I'll be nice. How should I ask him why he keeps mentioning calling or going out? It's the only reason I am going to see him again is to answer this because I want to know. I figure one of three scenarios is going to happen, so how do you all suggest I bring it up per scenario: If he says something about going out again (which I doubt he will), I'm going to say, "Sure, what do you have in mind? I ask because you mention this in about half your emails and just about everytime you see me--and yet nothing seems to happen. I think I would have enjoyed going out for an hour or so, but my feelings are hurt that there's no follow thru, and in fact it has made me not even want to do lunch any more. Which is too bad, but... Can you explain what you are thinking?" Maybe that's too wordy. Help me with it. Second scenario is he will say he will give me a call. I'm thinking of just saying the above to that as well. The third scenario is he doesn't do either and I have to bring it up. How? Over the weekend I will consider just cutting him off and just never knowing, but I really would like to know. My feelings are hurt and I feel a bit mindfcked. And he did it and I really don't think he realizes he did it. But it's not going to kill him to be faced with it politely and it can't make me feel any worse. And it's too bad. We could have had a pleasant little 'lunch' relationship or possibly we could have had something that evolved into a real friendship or maybe even begun to date. But the ambiguity has spoiled it. So ideas of how to do do this? okay I'm drunk and bored, so I got rid of all the coding. (OP, if you compose your post in Word...did you do that? Just copy and paste it into Notepad (in Accessories on a PC) first, then copy and paste from there into a forum or elsewhere, otherwise things get messed up
Author MarlyStar Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Thank you, Paddington. No. I typed it in this window.
Jazzari Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 DC was sad at the cemetery and much better in the night as the day progressed! If you read he other pages you wouldn’t believe it. Have agreat weekend!" My best guess: He originally wrote: DC was sad at the cemetery and much better in the night. Meaning it was sad at the cemetery during the day but the evening was fun. But then he didn't want to sound like he was having a wild nightlife and changed it to: DC was sad at the cemetery but much better as the day progressed. Which is much more politically correct when writing to a girl. He just got the two mixed up.
paddington bear Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 okay, now that I can actually read what you wrote: keeps asking me out for a drink or saying he'd give me a call, but never actually can follow thru, Red flag! If he really liked you he wouldn't mess you around like this. Puppet on his string. I can string her along for as long as I like and she'll still like me no matter how flaky I am. DC was sad at the cemetery and much better in the night as the day progressed! If you read he other pages you wouldn’t believe it. Have agreat weekend!" WTH does that email mean '...much better in the night as the day progressed...'? I'm guessing you think that he is subtly hinting that yes, the funeral was sad, but way hay! He scored some hot chick afterwards. In reality, I think you are overthinking this waaaay too much. I overthink things that guys write, but you are getting the golden award tonight madam. IMO he is saying that, despite it being a sad occasion, a funeral, it turned out fun. Whether that involved him hooking up with someone else is anyone's guess. If it is an allusion to that, he's an insensitive ah**e and you don't want to be near someone who can be so casually cruel. Also, the only reason I'm going to see him one more time is to ask him WTF is he doing? How should I ask him why he keeps mentioning calling or going out? "Sure, what do you have in mind? I ask because you mention this in about half your emails and just about everytime you see me--and yet nothing seems to happen. I think I would have enjoyed going out for an hour or so, but my feelings are hurt that there's no follow thru, and in fact it has made me not even want to do lunch any more. Which is too bad, but... Can you explain what you are thinking?" Maybe that's too wordy. Help me with it. Yes, you are too wordy, you are going all crazy lady here. Calm down! You are not in a relationship with him yet. He has made and broken promises to you over and over. Nagging him about it (even in a jokey, not crazy way) is going to make him run a mile instead of getting to the bottom of his flakiness. You are better off simply letting actions speak louder than words. Be sweet, be kind, be charming if he contacts you. I know you want to be mean and vindictive and avoid him right now. But don't do that. You will only do yourself a disservice. However, don't initiate any contact with him. If he comments on the fact that he hasn't heard from you, or that you were supposed to meet, say (charmingly and welcomingly) 'oh it's just that you set up so many times we should meet, but then cancelled or were busy, I thought you weren't interested'. Ball in his court. If he can't step up to the mark...well...let him go his flaky, merry way. You just need to calm down. I've been where you are, where you like someone and then their behaviour leads you on, and you get so confused that you both want them but hate them at the same time. Deep breaths.
Author MarlyStar Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Meaning it was sad at the cemetery during the day but the evening was fun. But then he didn't want to sound like he was having a wild nightlife ... But it was a day trip, he left in the morning and came back that evening. Was back at work the next morning.
Recommended Posts