miracgirl Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I have a lower sex drive than my boyfriend. There are a couple of weeks during the month where i have no sex drive at all. I don't feel like fooling around at all but my boyfriend says I should do it to make him happy. Do you guys agree?
sumdude Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 A couple weeks a month? You might ask yourself why that is. Are you unhappy in the relationship? Not turned on by him? Is it maybe a physical issue? Maybe ask your doctor. I'm not trying to be callous here. I know that in your SO's position I would feel quite frustrated. It's possible that's your natural state in which case every once in a while you might just want to try and put yourself in the mood and see what happens. Mismatched sex drives are not uncommon and can be worked around. On the other hand they can also doom a relationship.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Have you ever figured out how to get your bf to improve on his personal hygiene? This could help ...
Nexus One Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I have a lower sex drive than my boyfriend. There are a couple of weeks during the month where i have no sex drive at all. I don't feel like fooling around at all but my boyfriend says I should do it to make him happy. Do you guys agree? I don't agree with him, because nobody should be forced against their will to have sex. However, would you allow your boyfriend to get off on porn during such times? (and not have a problem with it) I know it's a bold question, but some women seem to have no problem with it. Even if you would think that is a good idea, I'm not sure your boyfriend would appreciate the suggestion though. He might even feel insulted.
Author miracgirl Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Lol yes I have. He has been using a stronger soap and it seems to help.
iJester Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 You should have an open, honest conversation about it, and see if it is something that can be worked around. Personally, I don't think it can be, and you'd be long gone if it were me, but perhaps he's different. Even if you agreed to sex with me, but weren't into it, I'd still get rid of you because of the resentment that would build up and it would wear on my own self esteem and make me feel like my girl didn't want me. Sooner or later, a girl will come along that does want to sleep with him and make him feel wanted. At that point he'll most likely dump you, cheat on you, or both.
paddington bear Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 In my last LTR I went on the pill and...my sex drive took a total downturn. Kind of pointless huh, to get a contraceptive so you could have sex without restrictions, only to find that it also just stopped me wanting to have sex. So, if you are on the pill, look into that. Go to your doctor and explain the situation and change brands. Also for me, if I haven't wanted to have sex it has been down to other things, emotional stuff. Like that I didn't feel cherished or secure in my relationship - of course I didn't know this consciously at the time. But for me, sexual desire is bound up with feeling like you are loved, and if that feels 'off' somehow, the desire goes. Then there is the major cause of lack of desire. Stress. I've done it. Lay there and worried about bills and not been able to get into it. You would think the sex would distract and help the worries, when in fact, the worries ruin the sex. You have to remember that apart from the extra testosterone men have, that (well according to what I have read anyway), men in relationships feel loved and intimate with their partner through sex. To him, you are rejecting him, and not just the sex, which is perhaps why it is becoming an issue. If it is a pure soap and water hygiene issue, well, problem solved. He wants sex. He's got to wash.
sumdude Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 In my last LTR I went on the pill and...my sex drive took a total downturn. Kind of pointless huh, to get a contraceptive so you could have sex without restrictions, only to find that it also just stopped me wanting to have sex. So, if you are on the pill, look into that. Go to your doctor and explain the situation and change brands. Also for me, if I haven't wanted to have sex it has been down to other things, emotional stuff. Like that I didn't feel cherished or secure in my relationship - of course I didn't know this consciously at the time. But for me, sexual desire is bound up with feeling like you are loved, and if that feels 'off' somehow, the desire goes. Then there is the major cause of lack of desire. Stress. I've done it. Lay there and worried about bills and not been able to get into it. You would think the sex would distract and help the worries, when in fact, the worries ruin the sex. You have to remember that apart from the extra testosterone men have, that (well according to what I have read anyway), men in relationships feel loved and intimate with their partner through sex. To him, you are rejecting him, and not just the sex, which is perhaps why it is becoming an issue. If it is a pure soap and water hygiene issue, well, problem solved. He wants sex. He's got to wash. Great post!
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