reservoirdog1 Posted March 21, 2004 Posted March 21, 2004 Not sure what to make of this... looking for a bit of insight, preferably female. I started dating a woman I met through the internet, a few weeks ago. Sparks flew from the first meeting. We've only seen each other 5 times or so, but we've talked quite a bit. She's like me in many ways; idealistic, separated, has a little boy, ex cheated on her, etc. When we're together we get on like a house on fire. Sexual compatibility is perfect, though only on the basis of one many-splendoured night. I'd be interested in the idea of being exclusive. When I very casually posed this to her recently (i.e. "what, hypothetically, are your views on..."), she told me that she wasn't ready to commit to somebody yet, though the focus of her response was more that she didn't want to tie me down to her. She expressed a bit of surprise over the fact that, since my separation, I've already been in an exclusive-type situation with another woman, though only for two months. Anyway, this past week her parents have been in town. They live across the country and she hasn't seen them in months, so I didn't really expect to see her this week. We've talked on the phone several times, however. I didn't want to seem needy, so after I phoned her on Tuesday I waited for her to call. She did, on Thursday; she was out with her parents and could only talk for a moment, but she said that she just called to say hi and to tell me she was thinking about me. We talked again later that evening and made what I thought were plans to get together the following evening (Friday). Friday came, I called her to firm things up, and finally reached her around dinner time. She told me her cousins had just arrived in town (her parents were still there) and we'd have to cancel. She said she'd call "later", though I know that doesn't mean today with her, necessarily. I really like this woman. Unlike any woman I've dated since my separation, I feel like there's a deep connection here. I could see this going somewhere. One of the many things I'm attracted to is that, despite being strong and confident in every other area of her life, she's very insecure about her appearance, mostly because her ex was critical of her. Personally I've always been attracted to women who are beautiful but who seem to have no appreciation for how beautiful they are. She fits that bill. She's told me that it's been a long time since somebody told her she was beautiful. Also, I'm the first guy since her separation that she's slept with, wanted to see more than twice, or wanted to introduce to her son. Anyway, I'm leaving the ball in her court. The problem is, I don't know what to make of the cancelled Friday plan. She didn't have to call me on Thursday and tell me she was thinking of me, and I don't know what could have changed between Thursday and the cancelled Friday plan. Am I being over-analytical (as usual)? I guess the options are: 1) I'm being blown off, 2) she's simply busy with her family in town, 3) she's a bit freaked out by how quickly things have progressed so far. God, I feel like I'm in highschool again, thinking like this. But, anybody have any insight? Should I leave the ball in her court?
moimeme Posted March 21, 2004 Posted March 21, 2004 What happened was that her cousins just arrived in town. Her family would've been pretty ticked, I'll wager, if she blew them off for a date when they don't live in town and you do.
Arabess Posted March 21, 2004 Posted March 21, 2004 It's hard to totally evaluate a relationship early on. In the beginning stages, there are too many variables involved. You can read INTO things and you can read OUT OF things. I would think the best thing for you to do is wait to see what happens this next weekend when her folks have left. Just out of curiosity....wait to see how long it takes for her to contact you and what the tone of her voice is. Did she miss you? Does she want to see you ASAP? Was she thinking about you? From there, you will be better able to determine in what direction the whole thing is going and if she feels the same way about you that you feel about her. Make sure and let us know what happens!!!! Arabess
Author reservoirdog1 Posted March 22, 2004 Author Posted March 22, 2004 Thanks arab & moi... she phoned me this morning. Everything is good. She's heading out of town for a few days on biz but said she'd like me to call her while she's away. Obviously she thinks about me. This is good. Damn... that call made my morning.
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