hopeless4u Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 So all is 'ok' on the H4U front and I've been busy getting on with my life. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking of the 'why' and the 'what if' and pretty much just found 'me' again. Today I was sat in a meeting and 'BOOOOM' his name was mentioned! So it looks like I will be working with him at some stage, not sure when but it is gonna happen.... How do I deal with him??
JsSweetPea Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 So all is 'ok' on the H4U front and I've been busy getting on with my life. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking of the 'why' and the 'what if' and pretty much just found 'me' again. Today I was sat in a meeting and 'BOOOOM' his name was mentioned! So it looks like I will be working with him at some stage, not sure when but it is gonna happen.... How do I deal with him?? My advice is to not be alone with him, if possible and be nothing but professional. Easier than said, I know.... Oh gosh, did you almost fall off your chair when they said his name? I probably would have.... Is there anyway you can get out of it? Good luck!
Author hopeless4u Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 My advice is to not be alone with him, if possible and be nothing but professional. Easier than said, I know.... Oh gosh, did you almost fall off your chair when they said his name? I probably would have.... Is there anyway you can get out of it? Good luck! HaHa Yeah I was just kinda zoning out as others were talking and then his name was mentioned, it took a while to gather my thoughts and figure out why they were talking about him and when I realised it was for my part of the project I was just like, OMG.... I can't get out of it and as far as I know the people I work with know nothing about us so I think I will just act like I don't know him?? I meet new people every day at work in meetings so it should be easy, right?
JsSweetPea Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 HaHa Yeah I was just kinda zoning out as others were talking and then his name was mentioned, it took a while to gather my thoughts and figure out why they were talking about him and when I realised it was for my part of the project I was just like, OMG.... I can't get out of it and as far as I know the people I work with know nothing about us so I think I will just act like I don't know him?? I meet new people every day at work in meetings so it should be easy, right? I know it will be hard but I think you should do just that. Act like you've never met him before & TRY to not get alone with him. That would be the worst, I think. Too bad you don't know exactly when it's happening & then you could prepare!!
Author hopeless4u Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 I know it will be hard but I think you should do just that. Act like you've never met him before & TRY to not get alone with him. That would be the worst, I think. Too bad you don't know exactly when it's happening & then you could prepare!! I'm not worried about being alone with him as he knows if he tries to open any door I will tell his W. I can check his work calender but he has not been updating it since DDay #3 so I cant be sure where he will be.....typical MM behavior, he thinks he is in control!!
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking of the 'why' and the 'what if' and pretty much just found 'me' again. Great to hear this! You are strong and always put you first. So what, let him think he's in control.. You know YOU are, so f..ck him and what he does, thinks, feels or says. Be polite, be professional. That's it. No small chat, no asking questions and do NOT answer ANY of his questions (if personal)..Just be cool and know that you aren't going to engage him in any way, you'll be fine.
Author hopeless4u Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Great to hear this! You are strong and always put you first. So what, let him think he's in control.. You know YOU are, so f..ck him and what he does, thinks, feels or says. Be polite, be professional. That's it. No small chat, no asking questions and do NOT answer ANY of his questions (if personal)..Just be cool and know that you aren't going to engage him in any way, you'll be fine. Hey WWIU:cool: I did think that if I was introduced to him(this could happen as no one I work with now realise I know him) to just shake his hand and say 'Hi' like I've never met him before!! I'm not overly worried but it will be uncomfortable I think:o
jj33 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Hey Hopeless. Did you work with him before on projects or did you simply work for the same company? If you worked together on projects (any project) I would not pretend it was a first meeting. That is conspiratorial as between you and him. and you dont want more secrets that only you and he know. If they introduce him, all you need to do is say yes we met when (he worked in this building or whatever it was). And then shake his hand. Be professional. The important thing is that you know your boundaries. It doesnt matter what he thinks, what he says or what he fantasizes about. So long as you are clear on where you stand, you will be OK. It bites but if you are clear then its simply something you have to get through and not something that has the ability to compromise you in any way. Try not to worry you will do great jjxx
Author hopeless4u Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 Hey Hopeless. Did you work with him before on projects or did you simply work for the same company? If you worked together on projects (any project) I would not pretend it was a first meeting. That is conspiratorial as between you and him. and you dont want more secrets that only you and he know. If they introduce him, all you need to do is say yes we met when (he worked in this building or whatever it was). And then shake his hand. Be professional. The important thing is that you know your boundaries. It doesnt matter what he thinks, what he says or what he fantasizes about. So long as you are clear on where you stand, you will be OK. It bites but if you are clear then its simply something you have to get through and not something that has the ability to compromise you in any way. Try not to worry you will do great jjxx No we just work for the same company, I had the chance of a project within our company after DDay#3 so took it. He works within our company so could be anywhere. I'm ok with seeing him, just want to do it right thats all:o
jj33 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 If you are basically OK with seeing him then I wouldnt pretend not to konw him and would just say hi Bill and not make a thing over it. No pretending anything (except that you never had an A in front of other people) And just keep it professional. If you are no longer feeling hurt or angry towards him then it could be really OK. Just do the work and thats that.
fooled once Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 So all is 'ok' on the H4U front and I've been busy getting on with my life. I've stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped thinking of the 'why' and the 'what if' and pretty much just found 'me' again. Today I was sat in a meeting and 'BOOOOM' his name was mentioned! So it looks like I will be working with him at some stage, not sure when but it is gonna happen.... How do I deal with him?? You hold your head high. You remember what a a-hole he is. You focus on all the positives in your life. You be the confident, amazing and "never settle for less" woman you are!
BB07 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Wow.........H4U.......you sound like a different woman. Kudos and congrats for finding that wonderful smart lady that you are! You can pull this one off......I know it.
awkward Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I am so amazed at your progress. When you took your power back, you didn't leave anything behind. I wouldn't be surprised if XMM tries to get out of this project but if he doesn't I know you will be fine. I have a feeling he will be expecting a different H4U LOL.
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Hey WWIU:cool: I did think that if I was introduced to him(this could happen as no one I work with now realise I know him) to just shake his hand and say 'Hi' like I've never met him before!! I'm not overly worried but it will be uncomfortable I think:o Nah don't pretend you don't know him. Just say hello and keep it at that. Ofcourse it'll be weird and uncomfortable but don't bat an eyelash. Keep cool and collected, be in control. Everything is going to go fine. Be confident in your own strength and abilities to keep calm and not react to anything he may say.
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