mfs976 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 My story is in another thread but basically we've been apart since the end of November and I've been no contact since Jan 6. I've been really good the past week but last night I went out and my buddy was kind of tipsy so I drove him and his finance back to their loft. I stayed the night and decided to jump online to check my facebook - well his facebook was up and he has my ex as a friend (she blocked me per my request). Sooo as you can imagine I decided to look at her profile just because my curiosity simply would not allow me not to and now I REALLY wish I hadn't. She is having a blast, making all kinds of new friends, doing all sorts of new and different things she wouldn't had done with me, going on dates (when she said she wants to be single), posting promiscuous pictures (she's a very passive and reserved person)and even throwing a 'snow ball war' party at her house tomorrow all day (she HATES the cold and snow btw)...even made an event for it on fb.. Why do I keep digging for info when it only makes me relapse with all these emotions? and why do women change so much after a breakup?
dng Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Why do I keep digging for info when it only makes me relapse with all these emotions? and why do women change so much after a breakup? I haven't read your story, but you are digging because the fog hasn't lifted yet. She hasn't changed, she is what she has always been and she's not who you think she was, you ignored the bad and embraced the good. This is not a mistake you've made, you were in love. This will take some time but it will sink in.
Leandro Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 You need to stop looking. You broke NC just by looking, have to start over again. They're usually lying when they say they want to be single. Women aren't the only ones to change. Remember that people change, and your ex is one of those people.
Karma20 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 If she's acting out of character then honestly its a facade. The happiness of being single will wear off and the reality of the breakup will kick in. Have your friend delete her from facebook. Continue NC and move on
Author mfs976 Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 I see what you mean by her being what she has always been..she is a very passive person but I always felt that there was another side just waiting to jump out. She can be very mysterious at times and hard to read but I feel there is def a sexier, wilder side deep down within her that she's been waiting to let out for a while which is why I'm freaked out. The photo i spoke about wasn't THAT bad compared to all the others you see of girls out at clubs and what not - it was just her in a nice dress in front of a mirror on the floor with this stupid smirk on her face..I'm probably over-reacting about it but it makes me question her reasoning for actually taking the photo and the fact that she had a dress on implies she probably took it right before a date or some kind of social outing.. I'm not sure the happiness of being single will wear off. This girl has been through a lot of ****. She was in the military, has PTSD, and anxiety issues, she's also widowed and she's only 26. That being said this is really petty in nature in comparison to everything else she's had to endure and she definitely is NOT one to look back or give second chances...she is very assertive with her decisions and when she is done she is DONE. She lives with no regrets and I doubt that's going to change for me.. I've been really busy with work, the gym, and class starts Monday...I've been out with friends and doing everything I possibly can including meditating to shake her from my mind but I simply cannot stop constantly thinking about her, where she is, who she's with, or if she's sleeping with someone...she really is a good, classy, respectable, christian girl and she truly needs to have feelings for someone to want to have sex with them but lately I dunno...I'm assuming the worst..
Karma20 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 When you start having those thoughts just start clapping or signing or something to distract you from them. I've been there I know it's hard. Been broken up for 2 months and he had a new gf after 2 weeks so I know he was sleeping with her. It sucks but you will get through it. Some days will be better than others and eventually the thought of her will be less and less.
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