Mrs G Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Hi there, It all happen last year april. I found sms on my husband cell. His mistress declaring her love 2 him. Confronted them both, they admitted, said it was just an emotional affair. Emails were exchanged. I told the mistress in may june 2010, what type of a mother women she is, I have Quads (2years old) how could she break up a home. She was all apologetic, sent me mails, saying it was the worst experience of her life she is sorry and promised to stay away from my husband. @ our confrontation she brought thru her cousin 2 impersonator her husband. The cousin was way to carm, thus I investigated and found out she lied. She bought my husband many gifts and monies were exchanged. 6 months later I found out this affair was still going on, I found monies deposited into my husband account, his now saying he was only using her for the money. Since finding out I have called her and she too have called me swearing @ one another. She has since charged me with intimidation. I will have 2 appear in court next week 2 give my side. I intereganted her n did all wht I did cause she provoked me, I was in an emotional state of mind. Cause of all this drama, I have even landed myself in hospital, gone to see physic. I need advise as to what to say to the judge. How can I plead my case. Yes I know this is all my husband fault, I hate wht he has done 2 our family. But I'm only still with him , for my children sake. So please don't judge me for staying with a hypocrite. Only know after I found out she was still talking / giving my husband monies, then only am I now intimidating her. But when the affair was not know to me this past few months there was no intimidation. Any advise with be appreciated
PegNosePete Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 She has since charged me with intimidation. then only am I now intimidating her. Umm, you just admitted you're guilty. Tell the truth to the judge. And then leave your lying, cheating husband and never contact the other woman again.
Spark1111 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Tell the truth and throw yourself on the mercy of the court. Do I understand correctly? You have 4 children who are two years old? That is a huge stressor right there. Also, when you first met her, she had her cousin pose as her husband? When she swore she would end the affair? Only as a ruse to continue it? Make sure your husband comes with you to court so the judge can also question him. You should not have to bear any of the nonsense he created alone. Something stinks here and I do not believe you have the full story. Good luck!
woinlove Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I agree with others that you should tell the truth. With your husband cheating, 2 year old quads, an OW who lies and has someone impersonate her husband, it is no surprise that you have been in the hospital and under huge stress. Just tell the truth and know, even if you haven't behaved well sometimes, no one should have to go through what you are going through. Unless there is something important you aren't telling us, sounds like both your husband and the OW have behaved much worse. So, go to court, knowing that although you behaved badly, the actions of your H and his OW placed you under enormous stress.
Mimolicious Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Tell the truth. Not knowing which state you're in but it slightly changes from state to state anyway (assuming that you're in the US), this hearing may be just to see if there should be an order of protection in place. Unless she has written or recorded proof of you making threats to hurt her, then there is little substance. If you in fact have landed in the hospital, get a counselor or your therapist (if you have one) give you a report of findings. This can help you in court. I mean, the courts don't take this kind of bullshyte lightly, yet your H's OW has willingly inserted herself into this scenario. A judge may not be too sweet to her. Unless she is extremely wealthy, her money wont matter. Word of advice- send your lying POS husband packing hone. He is not a man! Good luck and I wish you strength!
scatterd Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Just tell the truth I cant see a judge taking kindly to a woman that has cheated with your husband.He might wonder how she has the nerve, get rid of the jerk that got you in this mess.Being cheated on is very hurtful and she seems to think she can do what she pleases and you should just take it.You really need to consider what your husband has put you through and he should be there and tell the truth good luck
Mimolicious Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Mrs. G. I am going to tell you this and it's from a place that I know very well... At the end of the day, a man is very replaceable, a mother is not! Your quads (God bless your womb and soul! you are super blessed!) need you more than anyone in this world!!!! You have no time for this nonsense! It's all nonsense and not essential. You need to keep strong babygirl and stay healthy for your babies. Your H and his OW can go live it up. I promise you this, life has a way of getting even. Removing yourself from this situation is way healthier than trying to fix what is broken. I promise! You may want to hold it together for the kids, in the end you may be just doing further damage. One day, you will turn around and shake your head. Get yourself to that better place! Your babies need you!!
jwi71 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 What country are you in? Because in the US your lawyer should be handling this. And it will play out much like others have said...in court itself, you will likely say very little as your attorney will be speaking FOR you. So call your attorney and ask him/her what the plan is...
carhill Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Here in Cali, I'm trying to imagine a DA who'd even waste the court's time with such a complaint. A TRO (temporary restraining order) doesn't involve the prospective respondent in court and often a hearing of any sort isn't required. I'd be curious to know what jurisdiction would take something like this in front of judge as an adversarial action. It must be somewhere with a really low crime rate As advice, I wouldn't personally step inside the door of a courtroom without legal representation. Hope it works out
freestyle Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I agree with Carhill--I think the OW is just trying to yank your chain....As it stands I don't think she'd have a leg to stand on , should it go to court. And depending on what state you live in (if you are in the U.S.) you may be able to sue her for alienation of affection...... Have you notified your H's family of the affair? It's possible you can enlist the help of the family to end the affair--and then decide is you even want to salvage the marriage. Sorry you're having to go through this.
Questionis Posted January 23, 2011 Posted January 23, 2011 Why do you have to stay with him because of the kids, if you explain to them why you have to break up, just be fair, don't blame. e.g. don't say I'm breaking up with your dad because he is a lying cheating bastard. If they are young and have never been in a relationship, they will have no clue what you are saying and they will only hear, I don't like you father anymore and neither should you. Say instead, Daddy and I are going to live apart from now on. Remember we still love you, both very much. Also why are you talking to his lover? She is just a stranger to you. He is the one who should be accountable, the one you love and trust who broke your love and trust. By staying with someone who lies and hurts you, you are dooming them to years and years of dysfunctional relationships. If you love them why would you do that to them?
NoIDidn't Posted January 24, 2011 Posted January 24, 2011 What country are you in? Because in the US your lawyer should be handling this. And it will play out much like others have said...in court itself, you will likely say very little as your attorney will be speaking FOR you. So call your attorney and ask him/her what the plan is... I was going to say this. Whatever you are going to communicate to the court, do so via a lawyer. Do not represent yourself, whether you think the expense is too much or not. I promise you, it will be the BEST money you ever spent! Your truth can be presented without you ever opening your mouth or uttering more than you intended to.
Lucky_One Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 (edited) Is ONE phone call ALL that you have done? Going to trial for one or two phone calls seems overkill. I am wondering if you also did anything else, or had anyone else do anything to OW? Adding: I am assuming that your H will be going to court with you, to be a support to you and a witness towards your emotional distress? Edited January 26, 2011 by Lucky_One to add a question
moloko Posted January 26, 2011 Posted January 26, 2011 Hi there, It all happen last year april. I found sms on my husband cell. His mistress declaring her love 2 him. Confronted them both, they admitted, said it was just an emotional affair. Emails were exchanged. I told the mistress in may june 2010, what type of a mother women she is, I have Quads (2years old) how could she break up a home. She was all apologetic, sent me mails, saying it was the worst experience of her life she is sorry and promised to stay away from my husband. @ our confrontation she brought thru her cousin 2 impersonator her husband. The cousin was way to carm, thus I investigated and found out she lied. She bought my husband many gifts and monies were exchanged. 6 months later I found out this affair was still going on, I found monies deposited into my husband account, his now saying he was only using her for the money. Since finding out I have called her and she too have called me swearing @ one another. She has since charged me with intimidation. I will have 2 appear in court next week 2 give my side. I intereganted her n did all wht I did cause she provoked me, I was in an emotional state of mind. Cause of all this drama, I have even landed myself in hospital, gone to see physic. I need advise as to what to say to the judge. How can I plead my case. just tell the facts and the judge will see the charge is bunk and she will look like the moron she is. She provoked you and anything she is trying to charge you with she is more guilty of. you'll be fine. if the judge is honorable, she/he will dismiss the crap from some interloping skag.
StoneCold Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 At the end of the day, a man is very replaceable, a mother is not! ....and people wonder why guys distance themselves from domestic and parenting responsibilities Quotes like this are very damaging and part of one of the many problems between men and women.....
Olivia1966 Posted February 2, 2011 Posted February 2, 2011 Yes, please get a lawyer. As for the expense, just think of it as being paid for with her money.
Mimolicious Posted February 8, 2011 Posted February 8, 2011 (edited) I agree. Many women are terrible mothers and the childcare is the man's responsibility. How could a father be so easily replaceable? Perhaps neither one of you knows how to read. Did I say a "FATHER" is very replaceable? NO. I said a "man". The OP is supposed to each shyte from the father of her kids because ??????????? Is her H being illustrated as the super "Father" that you are speaking about? No. So it is ok for her to neglect quads because she is too busy worrying about her 'love issues' with their father? Thanks to mindsets like these, many kids are mistreated and in route to the wrong path in life. I am a mother before I can be a lover. I guess some people just have better motherly fibers. People who who are more preoccupied with pleasing a spouse (cheating one at that) than worrying about their children, shouldn't have any till they are ready to be PARENTS. Edited February 8, 2011 by Mimolicious
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