angelboots Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I posted it on another forum but thought it might be relative here also, Please think twice before using another person to fix the gapping hole left in your chest by your ex. I was my now ex's rebound for a year while he was secretly pining for and manipulating hes way back into hes ex wifes life and all I can say is, being used hurts. You might find that at some point after your break up you want to go out into the world and get some affection and an ego stroke to help numb some of the pain you are feeling and if you do decide to take this course of action please be kind enough to the other person involved to be straight up about how you feel, get your bit of booty and then disappear. But please do NOT try to transfer your emotions from your ex onto the first person you think you may have a thing for. Do not tell her you love her if you dont, do not plan a future with her while the thought is in the back of your mind "maybe she will do until i get my ex back" You might find it distracts you from your pain, but in my experience now, all you really do is damage an innocent party who most likely does not deserve it. My now ex was separated from hes ex for just over two years when we started dating and by all accounts he seemed content for it to be over with her and she seemed to be the same.... Well he was lying. Now he and her are back together and he is still trying to keep me as hes back up plan for in case (re: when) she cheats on him again. I refuse to play. All I do know is I loved and was convinced to love, a guy who never even loved me in return. (he continues to message me "i love you, i am confused, scared, dont know what to do, i want you, i cant imagine you not in my life at the very least as a friend, please!! plus half a million frown faces" uuugggh lol ) He pushed and pushed to get me to trust him and to love him and once i let my guard down he threw it back in my face.. All i can ask is to think twice before you involve another person in your grieving process, be honest about where you are at and why. I am now jaded and feel as though i have a hole in my chest, but i know one thing i wont do is try to manipulate someone else into being my bandage. sorry for the rant. __________________
TLCbear Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I agree. I, for one, have always gotten over my exes before I got into another relationship. Now don't get me wrong, I have casually dating and talked to other guys, but as far as getting into a relationship, I made sure I was over the exes. The last thing I want is to bring an innocent party into a mess.
Leandro Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Having rebounds will just prolong the pain and shows you only care about yourself. You'll pretty much be just like your ex(for some of yall). Heal on your on. Yes, it's hard but you'll become stronger and wiser.
Karma20 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I will tell you I just got my heartbroken and I never thought about rebounding before. Let me tell you it's very tempting y to jump into something to help with the pain of losing your ex. I'm glad I still had some sanity because I had the chance but I couldn't hurt someone to help me with my hurt. I would feel awful and I know deep down how wrong rebounding is. I agree people need to deal with pain and then move on. Hurting someone else to avoid trying to hurt yourself is selfish and doesn't work. You can only hide your feelings behind someone else for too long.
abust1 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I can attest from the rebounder point of view that just as much damage can be done as being the reboundee. Be on your own for a while!!!! Just do it.
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