Stonewall Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I've been dating this girl for 3 months now.(I've known her for 6) The only move I have made on her was kissing and making out. When we made out I always avoided caressing her breast and touching her genital area. Just recently I recently started caressing her breast while making out because she put my hand on them. My question is do you think I'm moving too slow? I don't know her sexual history and what she expects as far as sex goes. She seemed very surprised at how slow I moved. I told her that I'm respecting her, and she said she appreciated it. She told me a story of a guy who snapped her bra on a first date and how it put her off.
carhill Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Unless cultural or religious beliefs/precepts inhibit you, I would suggest being more proactive. It's natural, if you're sexually active, to express your feelings of intimacy and desire through intimate touching and sexual contact. There's no law that says she has to wear a bra
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 You should be having sex at least 3 times a day by now. How have you been managing to go without some kind of " sexual" contact for 3 months? Fondling, heavy petting, etc. DO SOMETHING.
Author Stonewall Posted January 21, 2011 Author Posted January 21, 2011 You should be having sex at least 3 times a day by now. How have you been managing to go without some kind of " sexual" contact for 3 months? Fondling, heavy petting, etc. DO SOMETHING. I'm starting to fondle her and she received it positively. When we were making out I put my hand a little to far up her skirt once and she said something like you're supposed to go for the boobs first ya know...
carhill Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Ask her if she wants a spanking Think outside the box. This isn't an erector set; it's lovemaking.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I'm starting to fondle her and she received it positively. When we were making out I put my hand a little to far up her skirt once and she said something like you're supposed to go for the boobs first ya know... Whichever. Can we say the next time you start on her breasts and then up her skirt, you're going to go further and stimulate her clitoris? She obviously sounds open to the idea, and if she's not saying no, what's stopping you from going all the way? I'm glad you're patient about this girl, but you got to realize that you're reaching a point where if sex is not happening ( especially since you're expecting it) you're just wasting your time with her.
carhill Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Suck her nipples and massage her labia and clit. OK, suck her nipples a microsecond before massaging. That will satisfy her 'breasts first' requirement. If just embracing her and kissing aren't causing her to want to hump your leg, I'd move on, frankly, especially after this long. There should be so much tension built up that it's just spontaneous combustion.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Suck her nipples and massage her labia and clit. OK, suck her nipples a microsecond before massaging. That will satisfy her 'breasts first' requirement. If just embracing her and kissing aren't causing her to want to hump your leg, I'd move on, frankly, especially after this long. There should be so much tension built up that it's just spontaneous combustion. And who doesn't like a little fire in their loins? I just cannot believe this girl isn't already jumping your bones and attacking your pants.
carhill Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 Sure, now the cat lays on my crotch True. And he's licking himself.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 If she put your hands on her breasts you're moving too slow. It IS possible to go too slow and turn someone off that way.
denise_xo Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 If someone I was dating and was really into hadn't touched me after three months, I would just jump on him No, seriously: It sounds like you're going too slow. And after three months, assuming that you're having a healthy relationship, she will just stop you if she thinks you go too far and at this point in time you should then be able to have a constructive conversation about what ways you want to be physical together.
OceanGirl Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 If someone I was dating and was really into hadn't touched me after three months, I would just jump on him It's more like three dates for me Seriously dude, this girl is going to lose interest if you don't step it up...
Billy_Boy Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I've been dating this girl for 3 months now.(I've known her for 6) The only move I have made on her was kissing and making out. When we made out I always avoided caressing her breast and touching her genital area. Just recently I recently started caressing her breast while making out because she put my hand on them. My question is do you think I'm moving too slow? I don't know her sexual history and what she expects as far as sex goes. She seemed very surprised at how slow I moved. I told her that I'm respecting her, and she said she appreciated it. She told me a story of a guy who snapped her bra on a first date and how it put her off. Every girl is different, but that she put your hand on her breast is a sign that you a re moving too slow for her. If you are already making out with her, start making some moves, caress her face her neck, her breast, rub the the side of her stomach under her shirt but above her waist line, be delicate but be bold. That she told she respects your respect is good, that she told you that story of that other Dbag is great, she is basically giving you the green light. Just dont jam your hands in her pants or anything, pick up the pace but be steady. 3 months is plenty of time for her to make up her mind about if she wants to have sex with you or not. Most women know that within an hour of meeting you.
Author Stonewall Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Every girl is different, but that she put your hand on her breast is a sign that you a re moving too slow for her. If you are already making out with her, start making some moves, caress her face her neck, her breast, rub the the side of her stomach under her shirt but above her waist line, be delicate but be bold. That she told she respects your respect is good, that she told you that story of that other Dbag is great, she is basically giving you the green light. Just dont jam your hands in her pants or anything, pick up the pace but be steady. 3 months is plenty of time for her to make up her mind about if she wants to have sex with you or not. Most women know that within an hour of meeting you. To be honest on our last date she was feeling my butt up a bit. I think she does want to have sex with me but the problem is 1. I'm a virgin, I'm afraid I wont perform up to standards and I don't want to come off as a creep. (I was raised in a christian home but decided recently that I want no part) 2. I have no place to have sex... I still live at my parents house, she moved back into her parents house 4 months ago. I don't think I want to have sex in a car... That said I still have no idea if she's a virgin or not. She dated a lot of men but all of them before me were dumped after the first or second date. Her longest relationship before me was only 4 dates .She said her first kiss was at 20. She still likes me I can tell it from her actions and words. Should I express my concerns to her? She probably can tell I'm a virgin which is why she is patient with me. I'm probably going to go for oral first, and then have sex at a later time just to let her know I'm interested in eventually having sex.
Knittress Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Guys, are you keeping in mind the wide variety of ages in people on the internet? The OP seems very young, so the "just find her clit already," crowd might not be giving the most suitable advice. I mean YEAH - I'd be put off if I wasn't having sex within a month of dating, but when I was a teenager I would've seen such behavior as degenerate and demeaning.
Author Stonewall Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Guys, are you keeping in mind the wide variety of ages in people on the internet? The OP seems very young, so the "just find her clit already," crowd might not be giving the most suitable advice. I mean YEAH - I'd be put off if I wasn't having sex within a month of dating, but when I was a teenager I would've seen such behavior as degenerate and demeaning. I'm 21 she's 23.... We aren't teenagers.
Knittress Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I'm 21 she's 23.... We aren't teenagers. Eh... I was still kind of like that when I was 21.
carhill Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 OP, for reference, I was a virgin until 35. IIRC, my first experiences with what I advised you to try was at 19 with my best friend's sister. Women's bodies were no mystery. Their minds, OTOH, oy...
denise_xo Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 (edited) To be honest on our last date she was feeling my butt up a bit. I think she does want to have sex with me but the problem is 1. I'm a virgin, I'm afraid I wont perform up to standards and I don't want to come off as a creep. (I was raised in a christian home but decided recently that I want no part) 2. I have no place to have sex... I still live at my parents house, she moved back into her parents house 4 months ago. I don't think I want to have sex in a car... That said I still have no idea if she's a virgin or not. She dated a lot of men but all of them before me were dumped after the first or second date. Her longest relationship before me was only 4 dates .She said her first kiss was at 20. She still likes me I can tell it from her actions and words. Should I express my concerns to her? She probably can tell I'm a virgin which is why she is patient with me. I'm probably going to go for oral first, and then have sex at a later time just to let her know I'm interested in eventually having sex. I really wouldn't worry much about point 1 here. If she's making advanced on you, you're definitely not going to come off as a creep if you reciprocate that. She WANTS you and (by the sounds of it) is in love with you, and hence would like to enjoy your body, too. That's a gift of love Sex is less about 'performing to standards' and much more about being attuned to your partner's needs and be willing to take some directions from her (and to give them back - tell her what feels good for you and encourage her to do that). Communication here is key. If you both communicate well, you're really quite unlikely to fail unless you both are sexually incompatible (which you won't find out before trying anyway). And for the record, I married a virgin (who was significantly older than you). Like you say, you don't have to jump straight to the full thing if you don't want. Start by making out a bit more, being more physically affectionate, and stuff like that. As for finding a place, that will probably sort itself out somehow. Talk to her about it all (sounds like it's time for that conversation) and you'll probably both feel relieved (and increasingly bonded) afterwards. Edited January 22, 2011 by denise_xo
Author Stonewall Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Thanks Denise. Now how should I talk about this... it seems like a very touchy and potentially awkward conversation. Should I ask her if she's a virgin too or is that a no, no? I think I should ask her about her expectations when it comes to sex.
Nexus One Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 2. I have no place to have sex... I still live at my parents house, she moved back into her parents house 4 months ago. I don't think I want to have sex in a car... I don't know how old you are or how much money you have, but you could rent a nice hotel room. Ok it's not the most romantic thing to do, but it's better than doing it in a car perhaps. Note though that it shouldn't be one of those dark dirty mold infested smelly hotel rooms. That would be just no class, something decent at least. Or on a sunny day, somewhere in nature where there are no other people, somewhere in the long grass between the flowers. That would be free. However it's a bit cold this time of year in the Northern hemisphere.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I'm 21 she's 23.... We aren't teenagers. I'm 21 too, I already know where to find the clit, the penis, and the assh-le. Lol Seriously, it doesn't matter that you're a virgin, 3 months is slow if you're looking for action.
denise_xo Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 Thanks Denise. Now how should I talk about this... it seems like a very touchy and potentially awkward conversation. Should I ask her if she's a virgin too or is that a no, no? I think I should ask her about her expectations when it comes to sex. Just go with the flow and do what's comfortable for you. This girl sounds like she's ready to go further so just step up the physical contact next time you're making out. At the end of that, ask her if she's ready to go the full way and based on what she says, tell her what your preferences/expectations are. No need to make it into a heavy conversation or anything. Just tell her that you want her In terms of asking her if she's a virgin, IME people often reciprocate when you offer information. So, if you tell her that this will be your first, she's likely to offer the relevant information about herself.
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