Bummed about your break-up?

[dconway8484]

Put your anger, sadness, and other feelings into improving yourself. Realize the mistakes that you've made in your past relationships, but don't exaggerate them. Share them with a friend and ask for their objective input. Change for the better. Get in shape. Volunteer. In the end, you will be glad that your break-up happened, because sometimes heartbreak is necessary to push ourselves to become better people. You may have been the best partner in the world, but you need to be able to make yourself happy, and the void you're likely feeling is because you can't. So many people go through life being dependent on others for their own validation -- I'm guilty of this as well. But the sooner you realize that you only have one chance at life, and that you should do everything you can to be the best person you can possibly be, you will stop settling for people who don't believe in you. The best person for each of us isn't necessarily the nicest/prettiest/smartest, but the one who pushes you and challenges you to be a better person, and that person won't leave you and hurt you the way your ex did. Believe in yourself and what you can achieve, and others will be drawn to it.

[cerridwen]

Great post.

Thank you.

 

This is my favorite part: "But the sooner you realize you only have one chance at life, and that you should do everything you can to be the best person you can possibly be, you will stop settling for people who don't believe in you."

[SunsetRed]

I'll never be glad that my break up happened, but I can say that I've put my energy into self improvement and it shows. I've lost weight, paid off a debt, bought new furniture and grown in my spirituality and wisdom.

 

While all this self improvement was going on, I was still suffering from pain that was actually physical. I could feel it burning through me like a disease. I got massages and juiced and took vitamins to keep toxins out of me.

 

I ended up winning the battle of the break up pain. 4 months later, it still hurts, but I have all my self improvement to focus on. I wish for everone to be strong and don't let someone else take you down. No matter how much you think you love them, one day you will realize they were never worth the pain they put you through.

 

When Homebrew was posting on here, his posts helped me to resist the urge to contact my ex. He has stopped posting on this thread, but if anyone goes back to Dec-early Jan, he was posting good dumpee survival advice.

[screwup]

I'll never, ever be glad about my break-up. I know it sounds like a declaration of naive teenage love even though I'm in my mid-20s and a natural skeptic, but my lady really was the perfect girl. Beautiful, highly intelligent, hilarious, great taste in music, trustworthy, open-minded and you could talk to her for days on end and never get tired of it. She's like a book you just can't put down. I will never meet anyone else like her.

 

However, I can appreciate the lesson I learned from this. She was upfront and honest about why it ended and I need to do some major work on the way I treat people, especially her(if I ever get another chance).

 

One of the last things I told her was that even in the darkest moment of my life, losing the best thing that ever happened to me, I won't lose her in vain. She taught me love, humility and that people won't always tolerate my arrogant attitude when it comes to what they have to say. If I can't walk away from this without making some serious self-improvements, then I really never deserved to have her.

 

Some of the personality traits that contaminated our relationship are some of the same traits that have me feeling miserable every single day. So even if I never do get her back, this was an eye opening experience for me. I'd be much happier in life with her, but as long as I resolve some of the issues that caused me to do and say the things I did, I'll continue on with a much better life.

Edited January 22, 2011 by screwup