quietGuy13 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I know it's probably just me cause i'm not social and i have no skills but it seems like getting a GF or date is juuuust sooo damn hard. however i also hear from people that these days women are really picky and more and more women are staying away from dating cause they think guys are bunch of losers. Also, many women are using online dating now and online they're are reallly really picky(don't even respond to emails) so i would think most women are not even getting dates. *** With that said, I think the only people getting dates/GF are clubber party types. Cause i see my coworkers for example: The married girls were party people before and clubbers and somwhere in those activities is where they met their mates. Then, a coworker recently found her mate , a guy she met through her jouney in parties,, and clubs.
ivalm Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I know it's probably just me cause i'm not social and i have no skills but it seems like getting a GF or date is juuuust sooo damn hard. however i also hear from people that these days women are really picky and more and more women are staying away from dating cause they think guys are bunch of losers. Also, many women are using online dating now and online they're are reallly really picky(don't even respond to emails) so i would think most women are not even getting dates. *** With that said, I think the only people getting dates/GF are clubber party types. Cause i see my coworkers for example: The married girls were party people before and clubbers and somwhere in those activities is where they met their mates. Then, a coworker recently found her mate , a guy she met through her jouney in parties,, and clubs. I'm a guy, I'm 22, I don't go clubbing, and I'm dating Don't loose hope, approach more women! It is work, but heck, if you don't do it, don't expect someone to do it FOR you.
xpaperxcutx Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I go clubbing but I certainly would not date a guy I'd met at the club. In fact, half the time I meet people at the supermarket or on the subway. It's so much easier to flirt and get a number from a cute cashier or a from a guy who decides to strike up a conversation with me.
East7 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 (edited) The thing is women have a lot of prospects but they have hard time to find a decent guy so they become defensive and picky. If you are a shy guy I would suggest that you talk about things that make you comfortable like talking about your hobbies, passions etc. Women are attracted to man who have various interests and are passionate. There are lots of women who crush for quiet shy guys. I have been a shy guy in High school and there were in those years a couple of gals who really crushed on me! (sweet memories:love:) I have noticed that energetic, dynamic, tomboy girls are often attracted to quiet guys (the opposites attract). Also clubbing is a very trivial place for meeting girls. The best environments for meeting and hooking up are associations, sport-clubs, volunteers groups etc...Socializing is more important than dating. If you are successful with the first you'll have the second. Edited January 21, 2011 by East7
Billy_Boy Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I know it's probably just me cause i'm not social and i have no skills but it seems like getting a GF or date is juuuust sooo damn hard. however i also hear from people that these days women are really picky and more and more women are staying away from dating cause they think guys are bunch of losers. Also, many women are using online dating now and online they're are reallly really picky(don't even respond to emails) so i would think most women are not even getting dates. *** With that said, I think the only people getting dates/GF are clubber party types. Cause i see my coworkers for example: The married girls were party people before and clubbers and somwhere in those activities is where they met their mates. Then, a coworker recently found her mate , a guy she met through her jouney in parties,, and clubs. Its not clubber types, its social types. Get off the computer, join some clubs, my advice? Go join a local Salsa dancing club, not only will you meet new friends to go out with, you will meet women who liked to dance which gives you a chance and an environment to show your inner graces. Dating, like money, like business, like school is all the same, you get out, what you put in. So if you are a quiet guy, quietguy13, that might be reducing your chances for success in the dating world, remedy that. I am a deep introvert myself and suffered lonliness up to my 20s wondering why no girls would talk to me, why no one wanted me to come hang out with them, thinking I was ugly and stupid. Turns out, sitting in my dorm room, pining away for some elusive female and being a hermit was the problem, not my looks, not my brain, not the dating scene.
GivenUp0083 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I know it's probably just me cause i'm not social and i have no skills but it seems like getting a GF or date is juuuust sooo damn hard. however i also hear from people that these days women are really picky and more and more women are staying away from dating cause they think guys are bunch of losers. Also, many women are using online dating now and online they're are reallly really picky(don't even respond to emails) so i would think most women are not even getting dates. *** With that said, I think the only people getting dates/GF are clubber party types. Cause i see my coworkers for example: The married girls were party people before and clubbers and somwhere in those activities is where they met their mates. Then, a coworker recently found her mate , a guy she met through her jouney in parties,, and clubs. It sounds like you're justifying not having something as "it's too hard" or "girls don't want to date just the club ones and they're super picky". Well here's some information for you: some of the best things in this life are not easy and if you just make excuses why you can't have them then you're shooting yourself in the foot. You're not a social guy? Start being social. I can tell you that generalizing the only people that get dates are clubbers is absolutely obsurd thinking. There's plenty of people out there, great girls, who are looking for the same things you are. Instead of worrying about reasons why girls aren't dating you (too picky, etc), why don't you start a list of reasons why are girl would want to date you. Look over that list and ask yourself "would I date myself?" Think about things you look for in a woman, then turn that back on yourself and try to improve that area. Example: What do women want? They want an independent and confident guy. Do you fit that personality? If not, start doing things you enjoy for yourself and do what YOU want to do, do it with confidence, talk to people with high regard for yourself. It'll make the world of difference. You can't change other people, you can only change yourself, make yourself a hot commodity.
radiodarcy Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 i'm a girl and somewhat of an introvert as well. i have the social skills but no motivation to use them at this time. i tried online dating and found that men can be just as fickle as women. also, the area in which i live has a very high ratio of women to men. the majority of the men i seem to come across are either married or in committed relationships. the single men i do meet usually aren't looking for anything serious outside of the physical; either that or they can't seem to make up their minds as to what they want. regardless of marital status there's a lot of dishonesty (i.e. men who say they're single when they're not) and double-dipping going on - - it's very frustrating and depressing so i'm taking a break from dating right now.
richbad08 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I guess it also depends on what your looking for. See im in college right now so I see different women all the time. I will either run into women thinking there so amazing and hot but turn out she has a BF. Or Since they don't really know me they don't get to see who you really are unless they hangout with you or whatever. What Im trying to say is when you least expect it you'll met someone and who knows where that takes you. My advice,be social as much as possible. And get to know a bit and see if thats what makes you happy. Don't rush a relationship it may backfire. Of course im speaking from my experience but Im sure it may help you.
Bookworm123 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 I actually agree with quietguy. I think it is harder now to get a date. Both women and men are much more picky in who they will go out with. Maybe it's because of the rise of internet dating sites and there's a seemingly endless supply of potential dates. The marriage age is increasing too, so maybe people feel like they have more time to be selective. Who knows? But I do agree that for whatever the reason, it's harder to get the initial date now. However, that doesn't mean it's impossible. You mentioned you think the only ones with dates are clubber types. I can guarantee you that's not the case. What you can do though is learn from their actions. First off, if you go to a club every weekend, you're walking into a pool of dozens if not hundreds of single women every week. And next weekend, there's a new hundred. Secondly, guys can feel more confident asking a woman out at a club because if she rejects you, so what. You'll never see her again. It's like every week they get to reset the game and start over. Lastly, almost everyone at a club has had a at least one drink. So to use these techniques, I think almost everyone who has already posted has mentioned you need to get out more. Go out to salsa dancing lessons like billy_boy said and East 7 had good suggestions too. Do whatver you're comfortable with. You're not going to meet as many new women as if you had gone to a club week after week, but I'm pretty sure you'll have a better chance to talk and get to know them. Next, I know you can't just magically gain confidence to talk to girls (I know I'm horrible at it), but learn from those clubber types and figure what's the worst that can happen if a girl rejects you. It's her loss if she doesn't give you a chance. Completely forget the last point about everyone at the club being drunk. I'd prefer for a girl to want to talk to me without needing alcohol to actually listen to me. In my opinion the only reason a clubber type may seem more successful is because they're meeting countless numbers of girls and they've got the confidence to go up and talk to them. Don't be a jerk and hit on every woman that moves, but try to go to things you like to do and at least then you've got one thing in common with the women you meet. Certainly don't envy the stereotypical clubber types. If anything they're batting at a pretty low average. Now not all guys and girls in a club are like this, but you're thinking of the stereotypical guy that talks to a dozen girls a night, most of whom have consumed a good amount of alcohol. Funny thing is most guys are still going to walk out that night slumped on the shoulder of their bro. It's like they're fishing with dynamite and they still end up empty handed. Just wanted to give you another perspective on the club life.
Recommended Posts