badshayshay Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 My boyfriend and I never have time to see eachother. I love him so much, I have gave up everything for him. I have even chosen him over my own family. Technically he is not my boyfriend because we are getting married in a couple of years, we even have the date set. I'm worried that he might be looking at or seeing other girls though. He is always busy and we talk like once a day for an hour. We have been dating for a half a year now and I trust him, but I worry so much because I am afraid of losing him. I have been cheated on before and in my opinion it is one of the worst things a person could do. I have talked to my bf about it but he says he doesnt even think about other girls. What do I do? I have trust issues.
creighton0123 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 "But he says he doesn't even think about other girls" While this may be true, it is most likely him telling you this because that is what you want to hear. Most people, guys and girls, sometimes have a passing thought in finding another person physically attractive. It is important to be mature and recognize that is an acceptable behavior. We are all humans, after all, often unable to control even the most random of thoughts and prevent them from happening. I find it odd, though, that this is posted in the long distance relationship section. You say that you never have time to see one another. Is this because of distance? Have you two ever met in person? In what way have you chosen him over your family? In most healthy scenarios, that type of choice is not even on the table - it is typically a choice that never has to be made. In my opinion, talking once a day for an hour is above acceptable. Perhaps you should trust him more and recognize that the person who cheated on you before is not the person you are currently dating. Love is a risk that involves a bit of trust. In my opinion, it is always best to err on the side of trust. From your short description and his daily communication with you, the only red flag behavior I see is setting a wedding date a few years in the future only after seeing one another for six months, but I know many married couples who didn't date for that long prior to marriage who are extremely happy and well adjusted.
madjac74 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 My boyfriend and I never have time to see eachother. I love him so much, I have gave up everything for him. I have even chosen him over my own family. Technically he is not my boyfriend because we are getting married in a couple of years, we even have the date set. I'm worried that he might be looking at or seeing other girls though. He is always busy and we talk like once a day for an hour. We have been dating for a half a year now and I trust him, but I worry so much because I am afraid of losing him. I have been cheated on before and in my opinion it is one of the worst things a person could do. I have talked to my bf about it but he says he doesnt even think about other girls. What do I do? I have trust issues. This all sounds like a complete mess! How old are you if I may ask? You chose a guy you've known for 6 months over your family. You are worried about him being too busy. You are worried about him cheating. We have all been cheated on in one way or another. Its not fair to take it out on someone else. You have far too many issues to be considering marriage... all be it in the far distant future. 6 months is generally an infatuation period and then the real life stuff of a serious relationship starts hitting you.
folieadeux Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 You don’t trust him and you don’t have time to see each other, yet you’re planning to marry in a few years. Something just doesn’t add up for me here.
gator12 Posted January 22, 2011 Posted January 22, 2011 My advice, cuz I have some experience with this. Even if you have the trust issues, they're okay to an extent. It's normal to get worried in long distance relationships I know I did in mine. The thing is that you have to talk about them, which you did do. After you've talked about them, all it comes down to is trust. In my opinion people don't cheat until they're dissatisfied with the relationship, so as long as you don't come off as the controlling paranoid pyscho worried about him cheating day in and day out. Lol, my point, as a guy, don't breathe down his throat about your fears, but do talk about them and work through them together. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Everything else will fail if you don't have communication. Anyways, just my thoughts =]
Author badshayshay Posted January 22, 2011 Author Posted January 22, 2011 Lol, my point, as a guy, don't breathe down his throat about your fears, but do talk about them and work through them together. QUOTE] Thank you for the advice lol but today he didn't talk to me at all and I am thinking that it is done between him and I. Maybe I was too worried that I seemed like a control freak lol idk why, but I'm happy even though it is over between him and I. Maybe it hasn't hit me yet.
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