forbidden fruit Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 We are finally moving out of state away from Xmm. I am tired of seeing him everywhere. Anyways before we put house on the market a couple of people had told me all these bad things xmm was saying about me and my family. I have not spoken to him in months but then I saw him and could not control myself. I sent him a message saying I know what u have been saying about me and I think u are scum. Well he called and denied everything and said I can call him back if I want to talk about it. I would love to call him and go off on him, but am wondering if I should. He also just found out we are moving. Any thoughts ( mostly for people that know my history) Thanks
bentnotbroken Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 What is wrong with not saying anything at all? That has been the advice you have been continually given over and over again...yet every few months you come back and say you talked with him and then want to know what others think. I can't speak for them all but why keep giving you the same advice you aren't going to take.
ladydesigner Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 I think silence speaks a lot for itself. Stay quiet. F him. Good luck on your move. That's exciting! Ooops Bent beat me to it
fooled once Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 We are finally moving out of state away from Xmm. I am tired of seeing him everywhere. Anyways before we put house on the market a couple of people had told me all these bad things xmm was saying about me and my family. I have not spoken to him in months but then I saw him and could not control myself. I sent him a message saying I know what u have been saying about me and I think u are scum. Well he called and denied everything and said I can call him back if I want to talk about it. I would love to call him and go off on him, but am wondering if I should. He also just found out we are moving. Any thoughts ( mostly for people that know my history) Thanks Why did you feel the need to send him a message saying what you did? If you are as "over him" as you like to portray - WHO CARES what he says/feels??? WHO CARES??? why can't you stop caring about what he says/feels? Does it really impact your life in any way? Sounds like a game you are continuing to play with him. Did your H ever find out about your affair with him?
whichwayisup Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 FF from now on ignore him like he doesn't exist. I really wish you hadn't messaged him, or called him. Who flipping cares what he does, says or thinks. All it does is keep you addicted to some sort of drama, ego feed tied to him. Move and never look back. Focus on healing 100%, letting go and reconnecting with your husband.
Heather1 Posted January 21, 2011 Posted January 21, 2011 How exciting! Glad you're moving, it seems like a great plan all the way around. Naw...leave it at "you're scum." He turned your life upside down & then says bad things? He doesn't get the satisfaction that you think one good thing about him. All he's going to do is talk you out of thinking that about him....he doesn't deserve it.
Author forbidden fruit Posted January 30, 2011 Author Posted January 30, 2011 Coincidently after i messaged xmm a scumbag his wife called to arrange play-date with kids. My kids had the play-date with his kids and my h dropped them off. All fine until xmm drops them off and comes over and says hi. I do not reply and start talking to his wife. So weird, anyways there we are me talking to his wife and him talking to my husband. He was talking to my h about our move. My head and heart are starting to come unglued and I excuse myself and go inside. It was more than I could take. Moving cannot soon enough. He cannot stand not to have last word. Now we are moving and I have the last word. It destroyed me today watching him yuck it up with my husband. He felt no guilt and I was dying talking to his wife.
whichwayisup Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 It destroyed me today watching him yuck it up with my husband. He felt no guilt and I was dying talking to his wife. I don't know why you're so shocked at this? Why it destroyed you. ? You STILL are putting too much thought into this and him. You still care what he thinks, what he says..You are giving him ALL the power and he knows it, you react to him, good or bad, instead of IGNORING him and his attempts for ego feeds. He's smug, of course. When do you move? Maybe once you move, keep your kids BUSY so distance and being busy will make the friendship with their kids be less and less.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 30, 2011 Posted January 30, 2011 I would love to call him and go off on him, but am wondering if I should. He also just found out we are moving. Any thoughts ( mostly for people that know my history) Thanks Don't do it. It would accomplish nothing. You want to hear him crack, if even a tiny bit and have him tell you something you still want to hear - though perhaps not as much as you did at one time. That last tiny, thin emotional thread that attaches you to him is breaking. Let it break, and move on.
whichwayisup Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 FF, I was thinking about this, and this is just a suggestion for you. When you have a free hour, sit down and write a list of what you feel towards your exMM NOW. Don't share it here, it's for your eyes only. Then, come to LS, and re-read ALL your threads about him. I bet you one thing, you'll see how consistant he is, his behaviour, his attitude, how he reacts and how he just "is." Maybe by doing this, you'll see you're the one who truly has to let go and put him out of your head and really fake it till you make it so you WILL NOT care at all. I hope one day soon he won't even be a thought in your head, like he never existed.
moloko Posted January 31, 2011 Posted January 31, 2011 Well he called and denied everything and said I can call him back if I want to talk about it. I would love to call him and go off on him, but am wondering if I should. He also just found out we are moving. Any thoughts ( mostly for people that know my history) Thanks I assume you have a husband. if so, then no, leave it alone. You are moving out of state. Stay with NC. Even if its to tell him off, any contact would be counterproductive to any work you are putting towards your marriage, and could be seen as disrespectful to your H since it could be seen as a reason to contact him(even if you are angry at him) just let it go, you are moving out of state.
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